and with the deafening mind of hers came a sorrow she submitted to. it was as if she was submerged underwater for years of her life, solely being focused on how everything was amplified beneath the surface. it was all very loud, similar to the volum...
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november 22nd
there was a sense of urgency in nicholas and celine's routine for the day. it was a step out of their routine due to the date of thanksgiving giving him the day off of work. celine prepared breakfast for the two of them, making sure to clean up the mess before nicholas came into the kitchen.
he gripped her hips from behind and hummed into her ear. "smells great, cel." his hair was damp and strands fell into his vision, so celine turned and smiled while pushing those fallen locks out of his face. she placed her hands on the sides of his face, her thumbs gently caressing his stubbly skin.
they sat and ate, one hand of hers locked with one of his across the table. it was all so peaceful and fooling. he hadn't snapped in days, so celine felt safe to breathe. "what time did your parents want us there?"
he took a sip of coffee and thought to himself for a moment. "i think they said some time around four or five. are you excited to tell them the news?"
she smiled his way, squeezing his hand briefly. she was excited for whatever made nicholas happy. it wasn't in the sense of his happiness equaling hers as well, although it really was just that. if nicholas was happy, celine could breathe and blink and exist which made her as happy as she could be. "they'll be happy to hear it."
he smiled that same charming smile that lured her in years ago. the same one that blurred all of the red flags. the one that would appear when things were at a calm. she loved that smile.
she cleaned up the mess from breakfast while nicholas chatted on about something going on at his job, and she found herself interested because it was keeping her safe. her hands held the sponge that scrubbed at the dishes while the water from the faucet burned her skin red.
red. the color was everywhere. in the blood rushing to the skin of her bitten lips, the shade displayed itself proudly. oddly enough, nicholas was seeing none of it through a curtain and only saw clarity.
and so, they baked. there was flour and dough and the timer of the oven beeping all around. cookies were placed on sheets then tossed into the inferno while nicholas wrapped his around around her frame, kissed her forehead and remained unaware of her last trip to the river. "i love you."
she rose up to the tip of her toes to press a kiss to his lips before mumbling the words with a faint smile on her face. celine was safe, and that was something she was sure of for the day.
their cookies finished baking, so celine took the sheet off of the oven rack, but not without catching a small burn to her wrist at which she hissed. nicholas took her hand in his large ones, bringing the skin to his lips to kiss it better. if only it were that easy.
he had always tried to kiss it better, and although celine lead on that it patched everything up, it was a means of protection. with the broken ribs, and the fractured radius, or the black eyes, she always felt the pain multiplied by tens of thousands because not only had he hurt her with the swing of his foot, or his fist, or a forceful shove, he was someone she loved, and someone she believed loved her. she knew he should never lay a finger on her with any malice, but when the damned charming smile was revealed, and the kisses touched the damaged flesh, celine's pain subsided for fleeting moments which she took as nicholas playing the part of the answer she so desperately needed.
the only answer celine needed was herself.
"should i wear the light blue or the dark green?" his voice was muffled from the walls of the closet while celine stood in the bathroom applying concealer to her skin. the bruises on her neck were nearly faded, but not quite vanished. nicholas soon appeared in the doorway holding both options up on a hanger.
celine tilted her head in thought. "i think the dark green one looks really good on you." she smiled as he pecked her lips and went to hang the blue shirt back up.
he returned to the bathroom with the buttons still undone and his raven colored hair partially in his face still not pushed back. she found herself smiling because he resembled an angel. somehow the untamed manner of his locks provided the illusion of youthfulness while the light shone down on him like he had just descended from the clouds themselves. she loved him, but she also knew he was closer to the devil than an angel.
"i'm sorry, baby," he approached her from behind and met her eyes through the mirror. his fingers ghosted over the faint hues on her neck that were not yet concealed before kissing the spots. goosebumps followed his touch like a lone leaf follows the breeze.
"you didn't mean it," the sad smile on her face was an attempt to reassure her safety. his large stature was intimidating, and his arms wrapped themselves around her like the river had as it absorbed the last of her oxygen, much like his hands had on previous occasions.
"you look beautiful." nicholas ran his fingers through her straightened hair and he began whispering the sweetest utterances that sheltered her in a protective bubble. she loved him, and she had always thought he loved her, but the devil is sly and he is harrowing.
...
"celine and i have something to share." nicholas was clearing his throat as his family occupied each chair at the dinner table. there were aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, yet none of them had the slightest clue. attention gathered to the devil himself as he held celine's hand on top of the white table cloth. "we're getting married january tenth!"
the family cheered, and celine found herself with a grin from ear to ear because although she had always wanted silence, the love she was surrounded with beat the hushed atmosphere she typically craved. they all hugged the couple and expressed their excitement for finally choosing a date, which was actually chosen by nicholas without much consideration for celine's input.
celine loved being part of a family, and she felt the few moments she spent with them was some of the best moments of her life. she felt welcomed, she felt loved and cherished, and when that was over she was back to her thoughts.
she wondered what nicholas would come up with for their vows. would he talk about their first date and the extension going to get ice cream? would he mention the first 'i love you' being a slip up on his end? or maybe he would admit to his faults and flaws before apologizing like he always did, but that was a far fetched fantasy she couldn't lean on.
as they departed from his childhood home, their hands were locked across the console in peaceful silence. celine was safe for the night, and nicholas said he loved her. but the devil will lie his way into your good graces.
