Chapter 29: Afraid

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HYUNJI was staring at the screen with no expression as her soul not in his body at this moment. She flinched when suddenly someone poked her from behind.

"Yah, what are you staring at?"

Hyunji lifted her head, "Miso-yah!"

Miso took a seat beside Hyunji, "I'm sending documents from my senior to Nayoung sunbae and I heard that you're being transfer to here. So lucky of you for able to see Got7 everyday."

Hyunji smiled, "Well... it's not all fun like you thought. It's kind of hard too but yeah... everywhere has different challenges anyway."

"Who knows one of the member might got crush on you!" whispered Miso before laughed to her own joke.

Hyunji stared at her with unidentified look that made Miso's laugh stopped, "Yah... I'm just joking! Don't take it so serious. You don't think any of them going to date you, right? They might be drunk if they did!"

Miso laughed again. Hyunji then laughed too, "Yeahh... you're right. He might be still drunk." Hyunji stopped laughing while Miso still laughing. She might be felt her jokes too funny that she couldn't stop laughing to her own joke.

"I hope so..." said Hyunji in low voice that couldn't be heard by anyone because of Miso's laugh.

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"YOU... must be still drunk I think?" said Hyunji after Mark confessed to her.

Mark let out disbelief laugh when he remembered Hyunji's answer that morning. Hyunji said that and then just left him in the café without he able to say anything further.

"Did she thought I was joking? I've gained a huge courage to confess to her yet... she thought... I'm drunk?" Mark laughed again. He put down his pen that he supposed to write his rap parts for the new songs and crossed his arms. He couldn't focus to write because the things that fill in his head.

He took out his phone and send a message to Hyunji;

Let's meet for a while. I have something to talk to you.

Mark shook his leg as he impatient waiting for Hyunji's reply. Suddenly his phone vibrate as Hyunji's reply enter.

I'm busy.

Mark quickly get out from the vocal room. Jackson that in the next room realize Mark was passing his room yelled, "Hyung! Where are you going?"

Mark just walked away without turning his back. Jackson sighed, "What's wrong with that hyung? He's the one asking to write rap with me."

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SHE bites her lips as she reads the reply she sent, "Is it obvious I'm trying to avoid him?"

Hyunji sighed. She stared at the sky from that rooftop. The calm environment there usually able to help her to calm too but today none of it can help her.

"I should be happy, right? My favorite idol likes me. How many fans in this world can get this kind opportunity, right? Am I fool?" Hyunji mumbled to herself.

"Gotcha!"

Hyunji quickly lifted her head and saw Mark breathing heavily like he's running from the basement to the rooftop. Hyunji shocked to see her, "O-oppa..."

"You told me you're busy but you're not in your table or anywhere! You should told me you're here!" told Mark.

Hyunji not saying anything and she's not looking at Mark.

Mark let out heavy breathe before sat in front of Hyunji, "Is that my confession burden you so much?"

Hyunji let out disbelief laugh, "How can you talk about this so calm like it's nothing to be worried for? Am I too paranoid to take this matter seriously?"

Mark smiled, "Sorry. I just don't know how to express what I feel. If you do take this matter seriously... I really appreciate that."

Hyunji sighed and lowered her head.

"I'm sorry if you feel burden about all this. I really serious about my confession this morning. I... like you. Not as a friend nor my friend's sister but... more than that."

Hyunji lifted her head, "Why me? You have tons of girls out there that willing to give you everything for you accept them as your girlfriend."

"Sometimes we can love someone without a reason or with tons of reasons but you can't really choose which of those reasons actually the real reason you love someone. I started to feel something weird to you when we spent our time in the nursery with the kids. The way you handle the kids, the way you humming sweet lullaby to Ahrin and all of that made my heart fluttered," confessed Mark that made Hyunji shocked.

"Then I thought maybe because you're my friend's sister so that might be the reason why I tend to give my attention towards you. But then the more I know you, the more I realize that... I have a lot of other reasons to make me attract to you," explained Mark with his full of sincerity.

Hyunji bites her lips, "I... I really shocked to know about this. I have no idea you've been having feeling towards me for all this while but... I'm sorry. I'm afraid that I can't accept you, oppa."

"Why? You're my fan, right? You like me, right? So what the reason you can't accept me?" asked Mark.

Hyunji nodded, "Yes. I'm your fan and I like you... but only as a fan. I can just like you as a fan towards idol. Not more than that. I don't think I'm ready to be in any serious relationship anyway."

"Are you afraid that you're going to hurt again?" guessed Mark but when Hyunji immediately looked at his face he smiled, "Your reaction tell me that I'm right."

Hyunji lowered her head, "I... I don't want to feel that pain again."

Mark sighed, "I don't mean to force you to accept me. I'm okay if you're going to reject me because at least I just want to confess to you my feeling so I won't have any regret. Sorry if my confession becomes a burden for you. But..."

Hyunji lifted her head to see Mark's face but she didn't say anything.

"But I don't want you to torture yourself and close your heart not letting anyone to enter. If you can't accept me, at least try to accept another man in the future. I know you're going through a hard time when your heart crash into pieces but it doesn't means your heart won't be heal forever. You need to work on it."

"You might be afraid to feel that kind of pain again but you'll never know what your fate going to be at the end of the day. If by having that pain again means you can find your true love so why not consider it as sacrifice. Love needs sacrifice. There's no rainbow without rain."

Hyunji couldn't say anything. She just didn't know what kind of reaction she should give or what she should say that end up she just stay silent and staring at some unknown space.

Mark let out heavy breath, "It's been a while since I talk this much. It's okay, Hyunji-yah. You don't have to feel burden because of my confession. Maybe because I used to west culture so I tend to just coolly confess to any girl that I attract with but of course it's been a while since I have this feeling so... just forget it. Don't be awkward around me. I will try my best to move on as fast as possible. I need to continue my rap making. Jackson must be going mad for me left him alone. See you later, Hyunji-yah."

Mark then left Hyunji at the rooftop alone to let her calm and think back what he told her.

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