40

                                    

                                          

After Sander comes across the keys to the Beast, we decide to drive back to Pigeon Drive and see how things are coming along with the antiserum and if anyone's shown up.
                          
"This thing really is a beast," Jamison mutters, running a hand over the massive car's glossy black paint.
                          
"Think how much of a gas guzzler this thing's got to be. And how much it weighs. You couldn't tip this thing over if you tried."
                          
"Kind of the point." Ori throws the door open, almost dinging it in the process. "Oops."
                          
We all climb in, fitting comfortably.
                          
"Guess I don't really need to be the official president. I'm already enjoying all his perks," Jamison jokes.
                          
"Enjoy it while it lasts. We aren't staying here."
                          
He raises an eyebrow. "We?"
                          
"Don't start fighting again," Maeve cuts in. "'We' implies more than one. So Halle's saying that she's willing to keep you around so long as you don't insist on staying in D.C."
                          
I nod in agreement.
                          
"Whatever."
                          
Ori turns around in the front seat, sliding the little window open a few more inches. "So you're thinking of going back home when all of this is over?"
                          
"I dunno. What are you doing?"
                          
She shrugs. "I don't know either, but I don't think I'm going home. Too many memories. Too lonely. It'd be too depressing going back to an empty house. Better to start fresh somewhere new."
                          
While her words make sense, I also long for the familiarity of home, for the comfort of my possessions and memories, for the imagined lingering presence of Griffin and Mom. I'd rather be lonely in a place that I know and feel safe in than lonely in an unfamiliar city.
                          
I guess I'd never even considered that my friends may not have the same plans.
                          
Ori breaks the awkward silence by playfully tapping Sander on the shoulder. "What about you? What are you going to do when this is all over?"
                          
"Go wherever I'm needed."
                          
"Me, too," Lis says immediately.
                          
Maeve elbows Jamison. "And you?"
                          
He shrugs, glancing at me out of the corners of his eyes.
                          
"Just say it," I say heavily. "I don't want you to resent me for making you do something you don't want to do or go somewhere you don't want to go."
                          
He sighs. "I... I need to honor my dad. I need to make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen again. There will have to be stricter regulations on government projects, and somebody's got to create them and enforce them. I think... I think I would be most useful here. In D.C."
                          
I honestly don't know how I keep getting my hopes up with this boy, when every single time I do, something happens and sends me crashing back into brutal reality.
                          
So here I am, crashing back into brutal reality again.
                          
Those few stolen moments will be all we ever get.
                          
I should've known he was too good to be true.
                          
"What about you, Maeve?" Jamison asks.
                          
"Well, someone's got to keep Halle company. Besides, I've always wanted to see the west coast, so it all works out." She offers me a small grin, but I'm too busy choking on my devastating realization to smile back. 
                          
The rest of the drive is silent and tense, as no doubt Jamison realizes his answer has upset me and the others don't want to make matters worse by discussing it further.