22

                                    

                                          
A/N: if u ignore the snake that's actually such a cute pic wtf
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"So why do you think we should break up?" Geoff asked. They were sitting on the couch, more distance between the two than usual. It was the next day and they finally decided to talk things out after Awsten spent the previous night locked in the bathroom sobbing and refusing to even acknowledge Geoff. Awsten currently had his knees to his chest, his hair falling into his eyes making him look even more childish than usual. He was loosely holding onto one of his stuffed animals, even though he was big right now it brought him the comfort that he really wanted from Geoff but was too scared to ask for. 
"Um," Awsten said, shifting under Geoff's stare and resting his chin on his stuffed bear's head. "W-Well, there's a few things. Obviously y-you have some things pent u-up against me-"
"I was drunk, Awsten," Geoff interrupted. "You know how I am, I didn't mean anything I said. I was just mad and you were an easy target. I'm not trying to excuse it, but you have to realize I didn't mean any of it. I love you and I was happy with you, I promise."
"I get th-that, I do. But some things y-you said were true, a-and I could tell even if you d-didn't mean it as harsh as you s-said it you still meant it," Awsten explained. Geoff frowned at his stuttering, it hadn't gone away but it had become less frequent the more comfortable Awsten became around him. Now it seemed just as bad as the day they met. 
"What did I say to you?" Geoff asked. His memory was fuzzy, he only really remembered a few parts of what had happened and even then it wasn't completely clear. 
"A lot," Awsten said quietly. He averted his eyes to the floor and began listing off what he remembered. "You s-said that you didn't wanna take care of me, a-and that you weren't my babysitter. And you s-said I had issues, th-that you've wanted to k-kick me out for a long t-time, you c-called me annoying a-and said you don't know h-how anyone c-could be with me, a-and that I do nothing for you. And m-more but I was c-cryin' too hard to hear you."
Geoff felt even more awful than before, which he didn't think was possible. "None of that was true, literally none of it I promise. I don't think of you that way. If I did I wouldn't have cried earlier because I thought you were gonna leave me," he reluctantly admitted. It wasn't a lie, he broke down the moment Awsten went to sleep, but he really didn't wanna elaborate on that. "I know you're mad and you have every right to be, but if you're gonna break up with me at least have it be because you don't wanna be with me, not because you think I don't want to be with you."
Awsten nodded slowly, a bit shocked that Geoff was that upset about the possibility of him leaving. "There's o-other things t-too. It's not j-just last night. I know I'm hard t-to deal with and I'm needy and I d-don't think I'm good for y-you. You h-have a lot going on and if you're just f-focusing on me it's not gonna help."
"But it does help," Geoff said. "I've never been happier than I am when I'm with you, I just have some off days. But I'm working on it. I threw away all my alcohol earlier and I'm never gonna touch it again, I'll go to therapy if I have to. I'm getting better Aws, this is just a setback. I'm gonna get better."
"You work at a bar, Geoff," Awsten said quietly. "You're a-always gonna be surrounded by it. I c-can't do this again. I won't."
"I'll quit," Geoff said. "I'm sure I can find another job, I have a degree and I'm good at bullshitting my way into a good position-"
"I'm not makin' you quit your job, I'm j-just saying if you're s-seriously tryin' to get better you're gonna have to do more than th-throw it away," Awsten said. 
"If I quit completely will you stay with me?" Geoff asked. He was dreading the answer, he knew if Awsten said no he was gonna lose it.
"I don't know," Awsten mumbled. "I want t-to, I lo-like you a lot a-and you make me h-happy when you're in a good place. But I d-don't know if I can give you e-everything you need."