Chapter 50

                                    

                                          
            
                          
The past few days had drained my physical, mental and emotional energy. It was hard to approach Mom but I kept my promise. Kapag nakikita ko siya ay niyayakap ko siya kahit na minsan ay tinutulak niya ako palayo. It was even harder to deal with when Czanelle kept asking why Mom wasn't talking to her.
                          
"Is Mom still sick?" she asked, pouting.
                          
"Yes," I answered and I immediately felt a lump on my throat.
                          
Nandito sina Czanelle at Clark sa kwarto ko dahil natakot sila sa malakas na ulan kagabi. Ang aga niya ring nagising dahil alam niyang aalis kami mamaya. Kuhanan kasi ng report cards nila at kakausapin din ng teachers ang parents about sa performance ng mga anak nila sa class. Since hindi pwede ang parents namin ay ako ang kailangang pumunta.
                          
Clark began mumbling something as he climbed on my lap.
                          
"What is it?" tanong ko habang pinipisil ang pisngi niya. Based on his expression, it looked like this midget wanted to eat.
                          
Dahil hindi rin ako nakakain kagabi ay bumaba kaming tatlo para mag-breakfast. Sakto namang naghahain na si Nanay Meling nang pumunta kami sa dining table.
                          
"Ang aga ninyo ngayon, ah?" she commented.
                          
"It's their fault," sabi ko naman.
                          
Sakto namang bumaba si Daddy mula sa kwarto niya at tumakbo agad sa kanya sina Czanelle at Clark. He looked like he aged a lot after taking care of Mom and our business. It felt weird. Few months ago, I was still resenting both of them because they abandoned me for decades but this time, I was begrudging myself more. If I had forgiven them sooner . . . if I had understood what was going on . . . if I had not clung to my pride too much . . . maybe the situation would not lead to this.
                          
We all ate in silence and it was hard not to think about Mom. Now that I think about it, hindi pa kami nakakain nang sabay-sabay as a complete family. And that might not happen anymore.
                          
"Chloe," tawag ni Dad matapos niyang mag-breakfast.
                          
Iniwan ko naman sina Clark at Czanelle kay Nanay Meling at sumunod ako kay Dad sa labas. We quietly walked toward the garden and I could only vaguely remember the time he built that hut when they were still here.
                          
"I have to leave this afternoon," he said.
                          
Napatigil naman ako sa paglalakad. "Back to Singapore?" tanong ko.
                          
"Yes," he replied with a heavy sigh.
                          
Lumingon siya sa akin pero napaiwas naman ako ng tingin. I thought he'd stay for a while since Mom was here but it turned out he wouldn't.
                          
He went inside the hut and I followed. Umupo ako sa harapan niya pero hindi ko pa rin magawang tumingin sa kanya. Even though we had sorted things out, we were still kind of awkward with each other.
                          
"You're wearing it," he suddenly muttered after a minute of silence.
                          
Napatingin ako sa kanya at doon ko na-realize na nakatingin siya sa kamay ko. He was talking about the ring I was wearing. The one he gave to Mom when they were dating. I immediately covered it with my other hand due to embarrassment.
                          
"You might think I'm a terrible husband and father since I'm leaving this early," he said and I could see the pain and discomfort on his eyes. "If only it is easy to live without thinking about the future."
                          
I already knew what he wanted to say. Some people would fantasize about a rich man or woman giving up everything for the person he or she loves. Yes, that would be a sweet and touching moment but in reality, that would be an absurd decision.