Chapter 20

                                    

                                          
I held Shana's hand in mine as we walk along the seashore at dusk. The sun was saying its final goodbye before disappearing beyond the horizon. It's dark; I could only hear the wind whistling and the waves crashing against the shore. The coarse sand between my toes and her soft hand in mine, that's all I felt. I know it's a dream but her touch couldn't be more real. The warmth and softness of her skin made me feel secure and loved.
I slowly open my eyes to a blur of someone sitting next to me holding my hands. I blink once more to clear up my vision. Could it be? An angel. Shana. Her fingers intertwine with mine, her bright smile lights up my face. She kisses my hand and tears begin to flood her eyes. We didn't need to say a word to each other, by looking into her beautiful eyes I knew that she was relieved that I was alright. She looked so exhausted, she must have been up all night looking over me like the beautiful angel she was.
"Hey, you." I open my arms for a hug. She crawled into bed with me and laid her head on my chest as I wrap my arms around her.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. You have cancer; I should have been there for you, no matter what." She cried.
"No, I'm sorry babe. I've been such an ass to you. I should have been more  in the hospital, my heart dropped, I couldn't breathe. It was like you were already gone and I didn't know what to do. I love you and I can't lose you, I won't." She hugs me tenderly, and then look into my eyes.
"I love you too." She caresses my cheek with her finger and pulls me in for a kiss. Without her, I felt like I've been on a deserted island for weeks with no water. Kissing her again felt like finally got the taste of sweet, refreshing cool drink of water.
"I think I'm naked under here," I said peeping down my hospital gown.
"But we're in a hospital." She laughs.
"I don't care. I love you." A sudden knock on the door made us stop. Dr. Martinez enters with his glasses resting on the bridge of his nose and holding a chart in his hands.
"Good morning Mr. Somers. How are we feeling this morning?"
"I feel great," I reply pulling myself up to sit. "Doc this is my girlfriend Shana."
"Nice to meet you." He gives Shana a pleasant smile and returns his gaze to me. "Mr. Somers you've had a seizure last night. Do you have any recollection of that?"
"I remember talking to my friend Jon and then hitting the floor, after that nothing." He nods and writes something on his chart. "Where's Jon?" I look around the room. 
"He went home to come back. When can he go home, Dr. Martinez?" Shana asks.
"We'll continue to monitor him for a few hours and if nothing, he can go home as early as this afternoon. Mr. Somers, it's best if you take a leave of absence from work. Knowing that your cancer is progressing. Now, you may want to lower your stress level, we don't want any more seizures now do we?"
"Seizure? Who's having a seizure?" 
"You did, babe. Last night. Don't you remember?" I shake my head as a response. I couldn't remember anything that has happened, it was like my brain had plugged out and everything the day before was a blur.
"Remember l...I meant I went for zitzoo. I meant to remember zitzoo. Zitzoo? Wait, no zitzoo." I tilt my head in confusion. What was I saying? I was thinking the words but they won't come out right. "Happening what is?" My heart starts racing. What was happening to me?
"What are you saying Ian? You're not making any sense babe." She turns to Dr. Martinez, "Doctor, what is happening?"
"Mr. Somers, count from one to ten in order for me please."