16. Memories

                                    

                                          
I played with my fingers as I waited. If I hadn't been doing that, I would have been pulling at my hair. It was a nervous habit that has developed over the years and keeping my hands busy meant I didn't mess with my hair. 
                          
A nurse made her way over and told us that Demi was waking up and her vitals were returning to normal. She also made it clear we couldn't see her just yet. 
                          
My head dipped, hands clasped tightly in my lap as she walked away. Kelsey rubbed my shoulder gently while my thoughts wandered to when Demi's family would arrive. 
                          
I honestly had no idea how long it would take to fly from where they were in Texas and even then, how quickly could they even get a flight to Los Angeles?
                          
Kelsey and Max were whispering to each other, Kelsey having moved away from me. I wondered what they were talking about, my concern growing when I heard Demi's name. 
                          
I pulled my phone from my pocket and saw no missed calls or texts or anything. My phone was dry as a desert, but I knew when word spread of Demi's overdose, I would be tagged in every post, mentioned in every comment, and asked relentless questions about Demi's health. Sighing lightly at the lack social media notifications, I slipped my phone back in my pocket, eyeing a vending machine down the hall. 
                          
"Maia?" Max's voice asked. I turned and he was sitting next to me. He handed me a few ones and some quarters. "Here. Get whatever you want." He smiled, leaning back. 
                          
"Thanks," I said, voice just over a whisper. At the vending machines-there were multiple that I couldn't see-I got a Mountain Dew and a bag of Doritos. I returned to my seat and thanked Max again, stomach feeling like I hadn't eaten in days. 
                          
~//~//~//~//~//~//~
                          
After my small snack, and a few more hours of waiting, Kelsey got a call. It turned out to be Dianna, Demi's mom, saying they were close to the hospital. 
                          
My eyes began watering, as I tried to remember the last time I'd seen her. 
                          
It was a few weeks before Demi went into rehab, right before we lost contact. She had been telling me Demi was going to be alright and she was getting help. 
                          
"I'll still be able to visit and talk to her?" I remembered asking this, vividly, like it was just the other day. Only, my hair was still in its emo phase. 
                          
"Yes, of course, Maia," Dianna told me. She hugged me tight and I went to Demi, who was in Dallas's room with her. 
                          
"Can I talk to you, Demi?" I asked. 
                          
She nodded and we headed out to the porch. 
                          
"I can see your blonde showing," Demi noted, staring at my roots. 
                          
I just rolled my eyes. "I know, I know. I need to get another box of dye. But that's not why I wanted to talk to you. I-"
                          
"Maia?"
                          
It took a minute for me to speak, because I was getting choked up. 
                          
"I know it's gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay. I'm just worried you'll forget me." I put on a smile, trying not to cry. 
                          
"I could never forget you. Okay? We're gonna talk all the time. It'll be like nothing has changed."
                          
I nodded, wiping my face, feeling tears on my lower lashes. 
                          
"Okay," I said, a laugh coming out. 
                          
"Okay." Demi pulled me into a hug and I had never hugged anyone so tight. 
                          
I wiped under my eyes, tears finally falling. Thinking about the last time I saw Dianna and Demi in person before she was ripped from my life was hard for me. I didn't think about that day much. 
                          
I had been texting Demi after I got home and we said goodnight. Then the next day, we texted for a bit, then she stopped. And I never heard anything from her again. Until we ran into each other, anyway. 
                          
I had been such an emotional wreck after that, and I was still dealing with my dad's suicide. It tore me apart, thinking Demi hated me for the longest time and I eventually couldn't take it anymore. Because of my dad, everyone thought I would kill myself too. So, I was the suicidal, emo girl that nobody liked. Me actually attempting suicide only made things worse, but once I went to college and dyed my hair back to its original blonde, things got better. 
                          
Even though I still thought Demi hated me.