My body was Toxin. I was a poisonous substance that was stuck inside a body created, and the more time I spent wandering around, the more dangerous I became. These toxins will never leave me alone, not until I'm gone. And right now, I was infected as ever.
The blade laid by me on the bed, mocking me constantly. I get it, I'm a horrible human being. I've got nothing to live for, I've established that! I only need to wait six more days. Six more days and all this bullshit would be over forever and I'd go someplace new. I have no clue where I'm going, but it's going to be better than here, anything's better than this.
And when I die, these toxin's will leave me and go to infect the next victim. I hate to say that's how this works, but it is. And as long as my suffering is over, I can't care about what happens to the next man in line.
So with a few uneasy feelings in my stomach, I grabbed the blade, retrieving it so we weren't alone anymore. I thought about things, holding the sharp metal before my wrist. Did I have a reason to do this?
Honestly, no, not now of course. My life has been pretty good actually, just since I met Kellin. I've been so preoccupied with seeing him that I wasn't around dealing with Mike and my parent's. School today was pretty slick, not good not bad. Kellin and I ate lunch in the basement, and for once in my life I actually finished my meal. I always thought it'd never happen, but it did. Kellin was making things harder than they needed to be.
So after realizing the slim amount of reasons weren't enough, I put the blade back it's container, safe and sound.
"Sorry..." I muttered, more to myself rather than the blades. My body was aching for it, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Ironic isn't it? One day, I can't do anything but slit my wrists, and the next I can only stay away. And in all honesty, I can't say which I liked better. I like being happy. But not super happy, no, I don't deserve this. Life happiness just isn't what I deserve, no matter how many times the public says it is. People put you in a special position because of your actions, and that's what I hate.
I walked out the front door, careless that it was past my curfew. My parents were asleep, so it's not like it mattered anyway.
The street was dead, only the lights illuminated the sidewalks and pavement. My head rotated, looking at all the different houses here. My neighborhood is pretty clean, that is, excluding Mike and his girlfriend. You never hear much about the crimes or drugs, it's just nice. I feel safe here, even though I know I'm not.
Pulling my hood up, I snuggled down into my hoodie and sweatpants. It gets pretty chilly this time of year. My feet trudged across the grass, heading towards the park. I just needed to be alone, and not just in my room. I mean alone, isolated from everyone, more so than the ordinary. No one would be here this late right? We had school tomorrow, but I didn't care, I was going to skip.
I approached the familiar park bench, so I took a seat and let out a huff. My legs stretched out as I laid down , resting my head on the arm of the bench. I looked up at the clear, black sky. The stars are out tonight, which was weird. Usually it's cloudy. the moon shimmered, revealing to be a waxing crescent. A smile crept on my lips. Why couldn't the whole world be like this?
It's so beautiful and calm, but this is only the sky. And the sky isn't part of this world, it's a part of everything else. This world is ugly, but it's deceiving everyone. With it's beautiful attractions and appearance, anyone can think 'Oh what a wonderful world' but this world is far from wonderful. Unless you consider crimes, depression, and many more wonderful things.
