September 4th, 2018 // 9:48 p.m.

                                    

                                          
Hey... Diary? No, that sounds a bit too feminine... Book? Nah, that's just calling it by its noun...
                          
Journal. Yeah, that sounds about right. Journal Number One. Sure. Let's call it that.
                          
My name is Ren. I am 15 years old, I go to a shit school, I am depressed (with some anger issues) & I can't control my body or its actions.
                          
So, the therapist told me that I have to write down all my feelings, what I did for the day, what I ate, who I hung out with... Pretty boring answers, but I'll give it a try.
                          
I went to my bus stop at 6:24 a.m. & waited. There is no one that I know at the bus stop... even if it's my second year here. Being a sophomore gives you a bit of a leg up from the freshman, but not to the juniors and seniors. Hey, but my height makes up for it. Being 6"4 scares the small, puny freshman... but the thing that makes others avoid me & not talk to me is probably my aura.
                          
My aura gives off a sense of negativity and danger... I shouldn't be near people because I can either snap their necks right off the bat or I can grab the pair of scissors in my backpack, third pocket, and slice their necks. I shouldn't be near people because they don't like me and I don't like them. I shouldn't be near people cause I'm a bad person who deserves death in every way.
                          
It's not that I don't like the personalities of others, I just really hate people. I hate the way they breath, the way they walk, the way they talk... I hate the way that they whisper behind my backs, talking about me, hiding from me, avoiding me... but, that's the way it is.
                          
School. Shitty school. Rick High School is where the teachers are just as bad as the students, where people don't give a fuck and where the learning part is decent, I guess...?
                          
Anyways, as usual, I head to my first period; Algebra II. 7:10 a.m. I enter the school & was greeted by Nick, the vice principle, aka, my "friend." He walks over to pull me to the side. "Hope you survive... They're near the main stairway, so be careful." With a grin, I reply, "They can give it all they got, if they want to try." I head to the other stairwell, scared they might attack me inside the school. I enter my class, take my seat in the corner of the room, opposite of the teacher's desk. 
                          
I take out my notebook & pen, to draw until the bell rings to mark the beginning of class. I let the pen take its course & after about five minutes, I was already drawing a noose. Guess you can see what my inner, most desirable wish is... Bell rings at 7:30 a.m.
                          
Skip ahead towards the end of the day... cause there's nothing exciting about my day, as usual.
                          
Bathroom break, about 15 minutes till the bell rings for the class to end & we all go home. I exit my PE class & on the way, I see them. Right in front of me... Great... I quickly go to the side, to try & not be seen so I can go... But... 
                          
"Hey, fucker!"
                          
Damn. It. I slowly turn around... "Haha... what's up, guys..." I quietly ask. "Where are you going? Huh?" They say as they approach me. "W-was going to my class..." I respond with some hesitation. "Sorry, didn't hear you." He says grimly & pushes me into the wall. "I said that I w-was going to class..." I repeat. "Are you now?" "Yeah. What else?" 
                          
  Regret. RegRET. REGRETTTT. 
                          
 He punches me, causing me to bleed from my lips. I don't want to cause a scene, so I don't move. "Don't feel like playing today, huh... BITCH!" He yells & throws another punch & this time, I fall to the floor. They started kicking me, punching me, while I lay there... getting beat, growing numb... wishing for someone to come. & it came true.
                          
"Hey... HEY! YOU FOUR OVER THERE."   "THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" I hear two voices, both female voices. They immediately stopped & ran. When they stopped, I coughed blood out into my hand, then I hear running footsteps heading in my direction. I see them coming & I quickly get up & run away, scared they might ask me questions I don't know the answers to.
                          
"Hey, kid... STOP!"   "KID, WE'RE TRYING TO HELP!"   "STOP!" They continue screaming & chasing. I end up running to the other end of the school, going in & out of hallways. I lost them & I cautiously go back to the bathroom near the gym. I see the blood & quickly wash it off.
                          
No evidence, no trace equals happiness for everyone. I say repeatedly as I scrub the blood off.
                          
I reenter my class & resume packing up, as there was only about five minutes until the bell rings.
                          
Anyways, I packed up, changed & ran to my bus when the bell rang. Went home after that, straight to my computer to watch some YouTube. "Ren? How was school?" My mother calls in from the kitchen. "Fine." I reply, not wanting to tell her the truth. "What'd you do?" She presses... "I went to my classes & learned. As usual..." I reply again. "Are you annoyed with me? Asking you questions?" She raises her tone slightly.
                          
"No, Mom... Come one." I say, slightly raising my voice to let her hear. "Oh, so now you're gonna raise your voice? AT ME?! GUESS WHAT, NO DINNER FOR YOU. FORGET GOING TO YOUR FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY PARTY, FORGET ANY PLANS THIS WEEK." My mom yells in anger & I hear her throw something onto the floor, shattering it. Tch. I scoff & continue watching.
                          
Dinner is served in the room's table & I'm the only one upstairs in my room, lying down in bed, wondering what I did wrong to deserve this. No dinner is no big deal for me... I've done it before... & I've starved myself more than a week before, so... nothing new. 
                          
So, that was Day One for Journal Number One. I got the notebook last night to write in... It's currently 10:52 p.m. & I gotta sleep... 
                          
Night, Journal.
                          
Good morning, Demons.


                          
(A/N: So, I decided to write a new story... Sorry if I'm not updating as much on the other stories, but lately I've been feeling a bit down... So, sorry that my emotions are in the way of me uploading. The uploading schedule for my stories: *just came up with it*
                          
Grey//Kai: Every Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays.
                          
What Now?: Every Tuesdays , Thursdays & Saturdays.
                          
Journal Number One: Almost every day. *like a journal*
                          
Sundays are breaks for me, because it's the day before school *Monday* & I get to binge watch & relax at home. Write this down or something so you won't forget the updating schedule & don't get mad at me for it. Night everybody!
                          
~G)
                          
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