Part 17

                                    

                                          


                          


                          
"Mm" Beam moaned, "Pha what are you doing?" He mumbled.
                          
"I want you Beam." Was his sole response as he latch his lips on beams neck and continued to rock his hips.
                          
"Pha, no we can't." He said in a sleep laced voice.
                          
"Why?" He asked while continuing to rock his hips and sucking on Beam's neck.
                          
"Mm....Pha, please." Beam did not know what he was pleading for, whether for Pha to continue or stop. The one thing he was certain about is that he wanted no regrets between the, as much as he desired Pha he did not wish to go any further until Pha knew what he felt for him.
                          
"Please, stop Pha."
                          
"You want me too don't you?" he said as he slid his hand inside Beam's boxers and massaged Beam's manhood.
                          
Beam was now fully awake, "Yes Pha, more than anything," he whispered, " but you know as well as I do...mm we ... we should not go... any further," Beam closed his eyes at the sensation Pha was causing to run through his veins, "until you figure out your feelings for me,"  he finished in a strained voice. It was hard for Beam to speak those words since Pha's movement had caused him to become aroused,  he wanted to be able to keep him as a friend if there was a slight chance that he was wrong in his deduction.
                          
Beam was moaning because of the sweet ache Pha had awaken in him but he was still in control of his faculties. He managed to disentangle himself from Pha's embrace and turn to face him. "We don't need to rush Pha, as I told you last night, I love you and I will wait for you."
                          
Pha's breath was erratic, he close his eyes to try to get himself under control, "I'm sorry Beam."
                          
"It's okay," Beam whispered then placed a chaste kiss on Pha's lips, "Now go take a shower to cool down." Pha hesitated, "Go."  Reluctantly the boy let go of his companion and did as he was told. As for Beam he could not believe his resolve was being tested so early out of the gate. Pha's actions had aroused him, he looked down at his harden member and huffed at the fact the he could not get the release he wanted or needed. While Pha was in the bathroom Beam managed to calm himself down and fall back asleep.
                          
Pha stood in front of the sink looking at himself in the mirror above it, what had he been thinking he and Beam had come to an understanding. Why had he done that? He looked at himself critically and suddenly remembered, it had to be that dream. Once again he'd dreamt of Beam and this time they were doing 'things', he saw the blush that spread across his face as he recalled the night vision, no wonder he woke up feeling horny and in his half awaken state he'd gone and stimulated himself even more. "Foolish Pha," he said to his reflection in a frustrated voice For a moment he wished he could stay in there and hide, but he knew it was not possible sooner or later Beam would come looking for him.
                          
Pha turned away from his reflection too angry at himself for words. The bathroom was tiny from where he stood he reach out and turned on the shower, leaving it set to cold. The boy quickly removed his tee shirt and boxers and just stepped under the cold stream, " Fuck this is cold," he cursed as the water hit his heated skin, he stood for a moment letting the cold water calm his aching groin, not daring to touch himself less he should be worse off than when he started.
                          
Once he had calm down he quickly soaped himself and just as quickly rinsed off and was out of the self induced punishment. After drying himself he stepped out of the small space, with a towel securely wrapped around his waist. Beam was lying prone on the bed with an arm over his face, from where he stood Pha could see he had fallen asleep again.
                          
Pha walked toward the bed then sat on its edge while watching the object of his dream. Beam's lips were slightly parted and he could hear a soft snore escaping from them. Pha felt hypnotized by those lips, those pick luscious lips seem to call to him, without his consent his body began to move forward, his lips were barely an inch away from his friend when he woke up from his stupor he inhaled sharply and pulled away.He got off the bed quickly and went to the wardrobe and pulled out some clothes and  dressed as fast as he could.
                          
Pha decided it would be best if he were to leave the room to get some fresh air, less he make a fool of himself once again. He picked up his phone, keys and wallet glanced once more at the sleeping boy and walked out of the room.
                          
Pha did not take his car as he did not want to go too far, he walked out of the dorm facility and unto the side walk  there was a frown on his face as he was deep in thought, the more Pha thought about it the more he was convinced that he felt more than mere friendship for Beam; but was sexual attraction love?
                          
 He'd never looked at Beam that way before as far as he could remember. He probed his memory but nothing stood out.One moment he had been fine and the next his heart was doing crazy things when he was close to Beam. That week when he was away from Beam had been hell for him, every time he'd thought of the guy he would smile but at the same time his heart would constrict in pain, for him that was such a paradox, when he spoke to him on the phone he'd felt such joy but when he hung up he wanted to cry. Once he'd returned to Bangkok the only person he'd wanted to see was Beam. His disappointment had been great when the boy had not been in his room when he came looking for him. Pha remembered that he'd not wanted to let go once Beam had been in his arms; was that love?
                          
He tried to remember the way he'd felt when he was in love with Yo, but somehow he could not, all he knew was that what he felt now was a hundred times stronger than what he felt then, the two could not compare, he knew that he'd respected and admired the younger boy, but he'd never thought of him in a sexual way. With Beam everything was multiplied feelings, emotions they were all heightened, one thing he wanted more than anything else was to have Beam beneath him writing in pleasure  and screaming out his name. He wanted Beam to look only at him and no one else; was that love?
                          
All that thinking was giving Pha a headache he looked at his watch and noticed he'd been gone for almost an hour. Beam must have awaken by now and must wander where he'd gone. He went to a stall and purchased some rice porridge and coffee for the both of them. although he'd wondered around for a while he'd not strayed far from the dorm, it only took him about ten minutes to get back to the dorm building.
                          
When he got back in he found a pacing Beam, as soon as he step in, "Where were you?" The young man asked, "Why didn't you wake me before leaving? I was worried since you were not answering your phone." Pha frowned and took his phone out of his pocket, he had several missed calls from Beam. "I just needed to clear my head after what happened, I didn't hear the phone ringing." He responded sheepishly. The young man let out a heavy sigh, "Please don't disappear like that again, at least leave a note next time so I won't worry."
                          
"I'm sorry." He whispered as if he were a child being scolded by a parent, still he understood why Beam worried especially after everything he's just been through, who knew if that girl still had a sycophant out there who meant him ill. "I got us breakfast." he said to change the subject.
                          
Beam stood across from eyes roving all over his body as if to ensure he was really okay. "Come let's eat then I'm hungry," Beam said although his heart was yet to calm down from the scare it had had from not being able to reach Pha.
                          
While they sat eating Pha suddenly turned to Beam, "Beam, Would you like to go on a date ?" The boy almost chocked  on the food that was in his mouth, he'd not expected that. When Pha saw what was happening he tapped Beam on the back, the boy took a sip of coffee to help clear his throat. What do you say when the person you love ask you out on a date? "Yes, I'd love to," He grinned.
                          
After breakfast they went to pick up Pha's car after wish Beam went back to his room to get ready for their date. Pha told Beam he wanted to do this properly so he'd be by in two hours to pick pick him up. He did not argue with Pha he loved that his man was taking control and was finally paying attention to him.
                          


                          
Two hours later Pha was picking up Beam, he drove them to the mall where they had lunch first then headed to the paragon cineplex to watch a movie, since ALPHA was on they decided to watch it, for them it was fun to watch the story of those two being having to depend on each other so they could survive their ordeal [ I have not watched this movie I just chose something that seemed interesting from the trailer ]. They left the movie theater feeling somehow closer not just because Pha was holding Beam's hand, but because they realized after watching the movie that dependence was not always a bad thing. 
                          


                          

                            
                              
                                
                                
                              
                            
                            
                          
                          


                          
A/N : More sweet moments with PhaBeam.