forty eight

                                    

                                          
When Jackson and Jinyoung kiss, Jinyoung is always nervous. Even if he may not show it most of the time, he's still insecure about his capabilities as a partner when he's with Jackson. 
                          
Not because Jackson makes him feel that way, it's just that the elder seems more confident and more sure of his steps and how he does things. 
                          
Jinyoung has just always felt his strong and hard headed demeanour crumble when Jackson decides that, hey, making out would be cool.
                          
So when Jinyoung is on the verge is falling into a deep sleep against Jaebum's chest, he panics for a split second when he feels Jackson settle to cuddle Jaebum's other side. 
                          
"Hyung?" He asks softly, puffy eyes trying to look at Jackson's face. 
                          
When Jackson's face comes into more focus, the elder is pursing his lips with his eyes closed, and it's obvious that he's asking for a kiss. 
                          
So Jinyoung sucks it up and leans forward, quickly pressing his lips against Jackson's in a short peck. 
                          
"That's weak," Jackson deadpans, and Jaebum chuckles from above them. Jinyoung feels his cheeks heat up, and he's snuggling closer to Jaebum in order to try and hide it from Jackson. 
                          
"I'm tired," Jinyoung settles on saying, finding it to be a viable excuse. He was indeed tired, but he was never one to turn down kisses. 
                          
"Bullshit," Jackson snorts, leaning in again and pressing his lips to Jinyoung's without any warning. The younger makes a surprised sound against Jackson's lips, but he doesn't reject the kisses. In fact, he finds himself shyly pressing his lips back against Jackson's, not as forcefully, but he was still kissing back. 
                          
From where Jaebum gets a front row seat of this interaction, a shit eating grin forms on his lips. 
                          
"Park Jinyoung," he starts, not being able to hide the smile in his tone. He waits until Jinyoung pulls away from Jackson, looking up through his lashes at him, before continuing. "Are you shy?" 
                          
Jinyoung's cheeks darken as his blush intensifies, and before he knows it, Jackson is howling beside him. 
                          
"You are, aren't you?" The eldest adds on, taking the lack of response as an answer. He's howling along with Jackson, and Jinyoung suddenly wants to hide, preferably away from the two of them. 
                          
"Shut up~" He whines, moving away from Jaebum to burry his face into the faux cool leather of the couch. "You guys are too mean," he adds in a whisper.
                          
Jackson and Jaebum's howling has calmed down to chuckling, but Jinyoung still didn't want to see the teasing expression on their faces. 
                          
"I thought you were a confident kisser," Jaebum snorts, and Jinyoung can tell that it's good natured, but Jinyoung still frowns. He thought he was a confident kisser too, but then Jackson decided to step up and now Jinyoung doesn't know anymore. 
                          
"I was..." He admits, sighing out. He finally turns his head, staring at his boyfriends; Jaebum who looked curious and Jackson who looked amused. He sends Jackson a glare. "But he became better." Jinyoung frowns, sending a pathetic glare Jinyoung's way. 
                          
"I did?"
                          
And Jinyoung regrets ever saying that sentence, because now Jackson was just cocky, and his already large ego was getting fuelled. 
                          
So, instead of confirming Jackson's question, Jinyoung grumbles and gets up, marching towards Mark's bedroom, hoping he was more welcome there, ignoring Jaebum and Jackson's pleas for him to come back. 
                          
Mark is laying down next to a sleeping Yugyeom when Jinyoung enters the room, playing with the younger's hair. 
                          
"Hey hyung," Jinyoung mumbles, slipping into the empty spot on Yugyeom's other side. 
                          
Mark doesn't even bother saying anything back to Jinyoung, instead he frowns and cocks his head towards Yugyeom. 
                          
"Did you hear about his panic attack the other day?"
                          
Jinyoung didn't expect Mark to bring up such a heavy topic right away, with no warning whatsoever, but he guesses since it's already brought up, he might as well answer the question. 
                          
"Yeah," the younger simply replies, smiling sadly at the elder. "It's not your fault."
                          
"Isn't it though?" Mark asks frustratedly, irritating his hair by running a hand through it. "Should've thought about him."
                          
Jinyoung shakes his head, reaching over the sleeping Yugyeom to lace his fingers with Mark's. 
                          
"You stress yourself out too much," Jinyoung says softly, sending his hyung a little smile. "You're both hurt, and no one is to blame. I promise." Jinyoung assures, really hoping that Mark wouldn't beat himself up over this. Everyone had seen how that kind of mindset could affected a person, and he'd rather if Mark wouldn't go through that. 
                          
"I just," Mark starts, eyes flickering to the sleeping maknae before looking back at Jinyoung. "Just wish he didn't have to go through that."
                          
Jinyoung doesn't say anything, instead he squeezes their hands, which are resting on top of Yugyeom's waist, tighter. 
                          
"Things happen," he says quietly, looking down at Yugyeom. "Forget the past hyung, there's so much good in the future."
                          
Mark wants to ask Jinyoung how he could say that, how the latter could pretend that he was so sure that the future would be good to them when he doesn't know what's in store. 
                          
But he doesn't, he just thinks that his younger boyfriend is in a better mindset that he's in at the moment. 
                          
"Hm..." Mark hums. "I love you Jinyoung." 
                          
Jinyoung blushes, but he can only hope Mark doesn't notice. 
                          
"Love you too hyung."