Chapter Thirteen: The Discussion

                                    

                                          
Peter's POV
                          
We walk to the car and get in, and we just sit there for a bit. 
                          
"I'm not going to break the bond." 
                          
"Why the hell not?" 
                          
"Because you are my mate, and I love you." 
                          
"Okay. So?" 
                          
"What did I just say. That's why." 
                          
"You should get rid of me. I'm no good. Not for you not for the baby. You should find a new mate and mother for our child." 
                          
"Our child, Peter. We need to raise her together as a family." 
                          
"We wouldn't be a stable family." 
                          
"What's the difference of now and in a few years from now?" 
                          
"What?" 
                          
"Why did you want kids in a few years, but now is totally different."   
                          
I don't want to tell him right now. I don't ever want to tell him. I'm not scared that he would leave; I actually want him to leave me and take the baby. I just don't want to relive it.
                          
"Just drive." 
                          
He sighs but drives home. It's completely silent, and it's not comfortable like it was less than a few hours ago. 
                          
we get home, and I walk straight to his room. I lay on the bed, thinking. 
                          
Soon enough Jake walks in and sits on the bed beside me and runs his hands through my hair. 
                          
"Stop. Don't make this harder for me." But he doesn't stop. He actually starts using both of his hands. 
                          
I starts to tear up. I'm so sick of crying already! 
                          
"We need to talk about this." 
                          
He doesn't sound mean or demanding. He sounds sweet and caring. 
                          
"Yeah we do. I wan't you to break the bond and, once our daughter is born, take and never let me see her." 
                          
"Peter, I can't do anything of what you said." 
                          
"Why not?" 
                          
"Because your my mate. I think we've already discussed this." 
                          
I laugh a tiny bit. "I guess you're right." 
                          
"Peter, I love you and our daughter, and I know she will need you. You don't want adoption, neither do I, but you would still be abandoning her. She would have to wonder why her mom didn't want her." 
                          
"You would get a new mate," I say tears pricking my eyes just saying it. "and tell her that whoever it is is her mommy."
                          
"You see, I could never do that. You're the one I love. No one else. I wan't to have a life with you, marry you, have children with you. The order is just a little different this time around." 
                          
I sniffle and smile. I wan't my child, but I'm still scared. 
                          
"Jake, I have to tell you something." 
                          
"Of coarse, baby." 
                          
"My history. No one knows it besides Rin and her moms. I heard they got pregnant again, but that doesn't matter. I was abandoned on the side of the road with a note that said 'please don't pick up. I need to die'." I saw Jake's face go furious. "Of coarse someone did. They were Mia and Florence, Rin's parents. I always tell people I got here because I was kicked out of my old pack, but that didn't happen. Mia and Florence saved me when I was a baby. They raised me and Rin together. They treated me like I was their own son. They took me back to their pack the Black Lake Pack. Mia was the Beta there, but bad things happened once I turned eight. I can't remember much, so I won't even explain it, but know that it was bad. They took us to this pack, but I didn't want anyone to know what my real history was. I was ashamed. I told when I turned five I found the note and blanket that was with me when I was a baby. I didn't know I was abandoned. I thought Mia and Florence were my parents, but I was wrong. I spent the next ten years thinking I wasn't good enough, and that caused depression big time. I thought I wasn't good enough for anyone. It was so bad that it got to Jason, and it's very hard for a wolf to get depressed, unless their mate rejects them. I wanted to die. I knew I would be rejected by my mate, so, when I found out it was you, I reacted very badly. That's why I didn't trust you. I thought you were going to be nice to me, maybe fuck me, then reject me for a good laugh. That's why I'm scared. I'm scared I'm going to mess her up, because I never had real parents. That I was unworthy of happiness, but you got me out of that. I was always faking. Hell I would fake to myself that I was happy. Fake it till you make it. But you got me out of that. And I keep thinking that if I screwed our kid up, you would hate me. I know I would hate myself. That you would leave me, and that I wasn't repaying you for how much happiness you gave me. I love you, Jake. And I'm sorry it took me so long to say it. I love you and our daughter. I want to be with you guys, but I would mess everything up. And I couldn't stand the thought of you and our daughter hating me, so I rather make the decision of you leaving me instead. It's easier for me." 
                          
I look into his eyes and see that they have tears in them.
                          
"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry that that happened to you. I wish I could help." 
                          
"You can." He looked at me with hope. "You can reject me and take our daughter and never let me see her ever agin." 
                          
He frowned. 
                          
"I can't and won't do that. You are my mate, and I love you. I want to raise our daughter together. Be with you forever. Get married. Have two more children." 
                          
I smile at his fantasy. 
                          
"I would love that too, but it can't happen." 
                          
"Peter, I'm sick and tired of you saying that. She needs you. You're her mother. So stop saying this shit. I need you. Our daughter needs you. Rin needs you. Mia and Florence need you. We all need you in our life. We all love you. Please stay with us." 
                          
"I don't kn-" 
                          
"Are you going to let fear rule your life?" 
                          
That was the biggest wake up call for me. 
                          
"Are you going to be 80 wondering what could have been? Are you going to wonder if you have grandkids running around on this earth? You will if you let the fear get to you. But if you don't, you could be happily married with three children and many grandchildren when you're 80. We could even be great-grandparents by then for all we know. Don't let fear control you, and be here with your family." 
                          
I never knew I needed to hear something so much. I'm not going to let fear control my life. It's my own. Not it's. 
                          
"I'll stay. I want to be with my family too." 
                          
He grins and kisses me. I love his lips. I love him. He pulls away. 
                          
"I love you," we both say at the same time and laugh.  
                          
"So, you're going to raise a baby with me?"
                          
I nod and smile. 
                          
"Thank you for saying all of that to me. I needed it. I've let fear control me for years, but not anymore. I'm going to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!" 
                          
"Did you just quote Ms. Frizzle?" 
                          
"Maybe. But it was perfect for the moment." 
                          
"Yeah, yeah. whatever. I love you."
                          
"I love you too." 
                          
"We're really going to raise our child together? Promise?" 
                          
"Yes. I promise." 
                          
He grins and lies down in bed, and so do I. We snuggle up and go to sleep. Today has been a long day. But I know the future is going to be great.
                          
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                          
Hey, it's Loveliness! I couldn't leave it like it was last chapter, so I instantly started this one, after I published the last one. It's not long, but it's something. I hope you are enjoying the story. Please vote and comment. It would mean a lot to me! Bye! 
                          


                          


                          


                          


                          


                          
Loveliness out!