I shook my head, "Nothing. There's nothing wrong with that, but I will not stand in the way. So it's either you let it happen, or I leave. And I'll make sure Morgana and Kilgharrah look after you. I'm sorry, Arthur. But it has to be that way." 
                          
We both stayed silent and I pulled away, making my way to the door. Part of me knew I was being stupid and wanted him to stop me. To call my name and pull me back to him and tell me how stupid I'm being. To tell me we'll figure something out. But he didn't, and the other part of me was glad he didn't. I decided I'd give him time to think about it. So I made my way back to Gaius' chamber. I walked in and saw him standing there, working on some cure. He looked up at me but didn't say anything as I closed the door and walked over to him.
                          
"Gaius, I wanted to say, I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I spoke to Uther today and, he promised no harm will come to you when I'm gone."
                          
He continued to stay quiet as he watched me so I started to walk to my room.
                          
"So you've decided? You're leaving?"
                          
I chewed on my bottom lip as I looked at him, "I gave Arthur a choice. If he doesn't wish to respect that, I will be leaving." 
                          
"I hope you made the right choice, Merlin. Camelot needs you. It is your destiny to help Arthur become king, not Morgana's, not The Great Dragon's, not Uther, not mine, but yours. And yours only. How many times did you save his life? Did you guide him towards the right choice? Help him see what's right and what's wrong? Merlin, nobody knows him like you do. It is your destiny and yours alone."
                          
He was right. I had told Arthur I couldn't escape my destiny yet I told him I'd leave him alone. What was I thinking? How could I be so stupid? Why am I stupid? I looked at Gaius and he looked back at me but said nothing. He said all he had to and he knew that. But I still wanted to give Arthur time, so I went into my room and laid in bed. I sighed as I looked at the ceiling, thinking of everything that could've been had I not left. 
                          
Would Arthur and I had been together? Clearly, yes. Would we had been happy? I'd like to believe so. Would we had lasted up to now? I would've hope so. Would Uther had approved? He seems to have warmed up to me now, so I'd like to think that he would had. 
                          
But what about now? That I've told Arthur we can't be together. That Lancelot and I confessed things to one another. That Morgana is back. That Mordred is dead. So many things changed and I'm not able to think straight anymore. It was too much. I needed some sleep.
                          
•~•~•~•~•~•~•
                          
I woke up a few hours later. It was still daylight. I forced myself up and out of my room. Gaius was nowhere to be seen. He must be with Uther. I grabbed an apple and started to eat it as I sat down, my thoughts instantly falling back to earlier. Why did my own mind hate me? 
                          
I rolled my eyes as I continued to eat my apple. 
                          
'I should talk to Arthur. Should I go now? Maybe after I finish my apple.'
                          
I started eating very slowly and I groaned as I stood up and walked out of the chamber and towards Arthur's. I nervously chewed on my bottom lip, my fists tightening as I walked. 
                          
I stopped in front of his door and released a breath before knocking. It took him a few seconds but the door opened and he looked at me, but said nothing. He simply walked away, leaving the door opened for me. I walked in and closed it, turning to him but didn't say a word. 
                          
'Why aren't you speaking?'
                          
I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I looked away, wanting to search for whatever courage I had left. If any. But he beat me to it.
                          
"I want you to be happy." 
                          
I looked back at him as he said those words. I nodded a bit.
                          
"I want you to be happy, too."
                          
He kept his gaze on me as he stayed in place for a second. I couldn't tell if he was breathing cause of how still he was. It didn't take him long to start moving and was soon standing close to me. Neither one of us spoke. Neither one of us moved. We just looked at one another, as if letting this be our last moment before we went back to our positions of Prince and manservant. Then it happened. We kissed again.
                          
I kept telling myself to pull away and walk out but I couldn't. I didn't. Because this is what I wanted. I wanted him and he wanted me back. 
                          
I pressed my body up to his and he didn't hesitate to kiss me harder. He pressed me up against the door and I reached over, locking it. I wasn't sure what would happen in this room, but I did know I didn't want anyone interrupting us. Even if it was just us laying down and talking, I didn't want someone ruining what could be the first and last time of us being so close. 
                          
We soon made our way to his bed, trying not to stop kissing. We kept stumbling over our own feet, and he laughed softly. I only smiled. 
                          
"I haven't heard you laugh in so long." I whispered.
                          
He kissed my chin gently and helped remove my jacket and handkerchief. He held it in his hands, gently running the fabric through his fingers.
                          
"I always loved the red one. It's a perfect Pendragon red." 
                          
I didn't say anything as I watched him. He didn't let it fall on the floor like my jacket. He placed it gently on the night stand and looked back at me. 
                          
"I want this to be our day. The remaining hours shall be just ours. If there cannot be anything between us in order for you to stay, then fine. There won't. But I need this. I want us to have this because I don't want to go the rest of my life asking myself what would've happened had I kissed you. Had I held you. Had I shown you just how much I love you. I won't force you into anything, but I ask you to not leave my side until sunrise comes again. Please, Merlin."
                          
I knew what he meant. Just earlier I was asking myself similar questions. 
                          
I placed my hand on his chest and felt his heartbeat. I looked at him and I smiled softly.
                          
"I don't want that either. Whatever happens after today, just know you can't say we didn't try. We just got lost in battle. The battle of our destinies. The battle with your father. With magic. With Thomas. But we're here. And today it's just us." I nodded as I smiled at him once more.
                          
Our lips connected and we let it happen. We let our desires come to life, our love unfold and our confessions heard. We couldn't keep our hands or lips off each other. Even through every feeling of pain and pleasure, every moan and laughter, every tear and smile, we didn't stop loving one another. 
                          
That was our day. Our night. Our first and last.
                          
But I didn't care. Because Arthur knows I love him and he loves me back. So whatever happens, happens. Because as we all know, we cannot escape our destiny.
                          
*******

                          
THE END