for him (3)

                                    

                                          
"I was just trying to be cool, I was just trying to be like you. I'm a spark and you're a boom, What am I supposed to do?"
                          


                          
A week had passed after that little eye opening experience Seungkwan had, and instead of trying to solve whatever he was going through he decided to just drown self-pity. "Seungkwan you know you can't avoid the topic forever right?" Mingyu asked him sitting down besides Seungkwan. "Mingyu you know you can't be this fucking pushy and annoying forever right?" Mingyu just rolled his eyes, and stood up heading out of the dorm "well if you're not going to think about it the least you can do is get up and go to class" Seungkwan sighed loudly and got up, making awkward grunting sounds that made Mingyu glare at Seungkwan "okay well i'm off now. Good luck in class today! Please go to class today!" Mingyu then left leaving Seungkwan by himself. He took a quick shower, got dressed and grabbed his bag, and left the dorm aswell. He decided to head to the nearest coffee shop since his next class started in an hour.
                          


                          
When he got there, he made his way to the front and found the barista, Joshua, someone who Seungkwan always talks to when he comes to this cafe. "Hi kwannie! The usual?" Seungkwan nodded, taking his  wallet out. "You look kinda drained, everything okay? My shift ends in 10 we can talk about it." I really don't want to tell him but Joshua is gay, so he could understand, he's also not a huge dickhead like Mingyu so he might actually try and help me out, and in the end, i really need to get this out before it eats me alive, Seungkwan thought. "Yeah, yeah that'd be cool. Thanks Joshua." Joshua smiled before taking Seungkwan's money and heading to prepare his drink.
                          


                          
"Okay so, i'm all ears." Seungkwan sighed before letting everything out. "Okay so, here goes nothing. Last week i met someone at a party, and we kinda hooked up, and then i woke up and they were gone and now i'm confused" Joshua scratched his head in confusion "Let me see, you messed around with someone and you're confused because you're.. attached? Or am I missing something?" Seungkwan was close to banging his head against the table but decided not to, saving some cells from their ultimate death. "No, look, I hooked up up with someone I shouldn't have and now i'm confused because should i ?" "Kwannie I think i'm a little bit more confused than you are, who did you hook up with?" Seungkwan sighed and slammed his head on the table "Sorry kwannie, i'm just trying to help you out" Seungkwan looked up, "I know. I know, i'm sorry. It's just really hard for me to say his name." Joshua's expression changed drastically and he took Seungkwan's head and sat him down correctly. "Did you say 'His' ? Seungkwan I thought you were straig– oh. I get it now." Seungkwan made weird hand motions and ran his hands through his hair "See, that's why i'm confused. This guy has me fucked up and I'll never see him again." "Maybe it's for the best kwannie. This boy was only your eye opener, not necessarily your future husband. But you shouldn't rush things. Take your time and think about how you feel and why. And i'm always here." Seungkwan really felt like crying. Joshua had made seungkwan feel safe and comfortable, and he really helped sorting things out. "Now, care to tell me who the lucky guy was?"
                          


                          
And like fate, the lucky guy entered the cafe. Seungkwan's eyes widened and his mouth almost dropped to the ground when he saw Hansol walk in, looking half asleep and very cute, if Seungkwan had to be honest. Joshua noticed his reaction and gave a little nudge to Seungkwan while whispering "You're staring. Is that him?" Seungkwan nodded. Joshua mouthed a little 'oh' Hansol was in line, checking his phone, and Seungkwan decided to take a leap of faith and leave, except that things really don't workout for him, ever, and now he's laying in the floor, sprawled out with coffee all over him, at Hansol's feet. Hansol stared at him and then flashed the biggest smile ever, which made Seungkwan even angrier. Hansol lowered himself and helped Seungkwan up, staying eye-level with each other.
                          


                          
"Hey you" Hansol said, still smiling. "Hey you? Hey yoU? Is that all you're gonna say?" Hansol giggled and stood up, holding Seungkwan's hand so he could stand up aswell. "Didn't you see my note? I thought I left a note, did I not leave a note?" Seungkwan rolled his eyes and let go of Hansol's hand. "You did. But that doesn't erase the fact that you left me to die in that hotel room. Plus, we're not done yet." Hansol raised his eyebrows "We aren't?" Seungkwan quickly realized how that sounded and waved his hands frantically. "NONONO I meant like, you did this so you need to help me" Hansol looked confused and made his way to sit in the table where Seungkwan was sitting before. "Help you? What do you mean? What did I do? I didn't spill the coffee, you did that yourself so I don't see why you're blaming me." Seungkwan also sat down, since Joshua had bolted out of the cafe, and tried to clean himself with a napkin. "I mean, that ever since you and me, we, uh– ever since THAT happened, I've been really confused so therefore you need to help me figure things out." Hansol looked confused, as if trying to piece things together. "This doesn't make sense, why do I need to help you? Didn't I already help enough? I mean I made you realize you like dick what else do you want?" Seungkwan grunted and stood up. "You don't GET IT I need someone that isn't my shitty friends to tell me what to do, see, if i do turn out to be gay, what's next? Where do I go? Who do I hang out with? Do I get a boyfriend? All that." Hansol stood up, making Seungkwan feel a little sad, and alone, again. "Look, i'm sorry for leaving, I really am, but you can't expect a complete stranger like me to tell you how to live your life, Seungkwan." Seungkwan stood up as well, taking his bag this time. "You had my DICK IN YOUR MOUTH HANSOL WE ARE NOT STRANGERS" At that point everyone in the coffee shop was staring which made Seungkwan flush red and Hansol stressed. "Seungkwan i always have dicks in my mouth, i'm sorry if you thought this could go somewhere, but i'm not really like that. Good luck on figuring out stuff, though." And with that Hansol stepped out of the cafe, leaving Seungkwan red, embarrassed, and alone, again.
                          


                          


                          
Hansol left the coffee shop to further avoid any awkward conversation with Seungkwan. He really didn't want to see him again but fate really knows its ways. Ever since his party last week, all he had been thinking about is the little straight blonde boy who really knew how to fuck someone, and it sucked. Hansol wasn't someone who could go around thinking about others that way, it messes with his own personal brand, the 'fuckboy' brand, even though he isn't even close to becoming one.
                          


                          
Truth is, he's just really scared of falling in love and then getting his heart broken, like last time, and Seungkwan wasn't helping by, well, existing in general. It wasn't really the first time he'd heard or seen Seungkwan, he was actually pretty familiar with him, but not really up close, but from a relative distance.
                          


                          
He never went up to him because he knew he was straight, or well he thought he was straight, and when Hansol spotted him at the party, he thought that that was the only chance he could ever get to talk to Seungkwan, of course he didn't plan for the night to end the way it did, he also didn't plan for them to cuddle or for Hansol to wake up earlier than usual and spend an hour just staring at how beautiful Seungkwan is, and finally he didn't really plan to run away leaving Seungkwan alone.
                          


                          
But today, seeing him literally at his feet covered in coffee just made him feel even worse. He actually liked this guy, and after a week of not seeing him around campus, he felt like the feeling wasn't real and it was just something that would go away with time, but, he was really falling for someone that he had only met once, a stranger practically. Hansol was falling for a stranger.