Broken-Junshua

                                    

                                          
>Requested to: soffbb_carat
                          
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Joshua could feel a pang in his chest. He'd been out today to do a bit of shopping and Junhui is supposed to be at home. But as Josh had decided to go into their favorite cafe- figuring he'd get their faves to take back home- he's sure that he just heard a very, very familiar voice. He's standing at the counter, waiting for his order and listened as the voice told another that he loves him. 
                          
I promise you that I'll break up with Josh soon. He's just sensitive and I have to wait until the right time.
                          
Joshua turns ever so slightly to his right to a table only a few feet from him. Juns back was towards him but he still heard every word very clearly.
                          
Jun, you've been saying that for months now. I'm sure the moment has presented itself plenty of times. 
                          
Joshua can hear a crack, and felt the pain that came along with it. His heart breaking.
                          
I know that Hao. I'm sorry. But like I said, he doesn't have a strong heart. But he's good spirited and I don't want to break that.
                          
Jun. If you don't want to be with me that's fine. I'm an adult I can handle it. But you don't have to lie to me about it. It's perfectly fine if you still love him.
                          
But I don't love him anymore and that's why he would be so broken up over it and weak. Just hold on a bit longer, love.
                          
An even louder crack sounded, and more pain accompanied it. Joshua could feel his legs giving out beneath him. He doesn't notice that he's crying until a tear falls onto his shoe. He turns to the barista who took his order, politely getting her attention.
                          
Could you just give what I ordered to them? 
                          
He points to the table Junhui is sitting at, and she nods. A sympathetic look in her eyes, but still knowing it probably wasn't her place to ask what was wrong with him. Josh thanks her and runs out of the cafe, quickly jumping in his car and racing home as if he was being followed. As soon as he gets back, he rushes to pack his belongings before Jun could come back. The packing part had been a success, but as he gathers all of it, the latter returns. 
                          
Hey ba- 
                          
He's cut off by the sight of Josh throwing his bags by the door and turning back to grab more. He follows in a haste and grabs Josh to stop him. The older turns around, snatches his arm and shoves Junhui back.
                          
Do not. Don't fuckin touch me Junhui. I swear to god- 
                          
The rest of his sentence trailed off into incoherent mumbles as Junhui still tried to get his attention, following as the older carried his things to the front door and turned back to gather more. He furrows his eyebrows in confusion and snatched Joshua's arm again. Josh shoved him harder this time, causing him to bump in the small table in the hall and the vase that rested there to fall and break, water spreading across the hardwood floors.
                          
I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKING TOUCH ME JUNHUI. I FUCKIN MEAN IT
                          
Jun only then noticed the continuous stream of salty tears on Joshua's face, each one making it's own mission to fall first. Jun softened up, and followed Joshua back into the bedroom shutting the door and standing against it. 
                          
Josh? Babe what's wrong? What happened?
                          
You know exactly what you did and I'm not gonna fuckin explain it to you.
                          
He turned around with his last load and glared up at the Chinese man.
                          
Get the fuck out of my way, Jun.
                          
Not until you tell me what's wrong.
                          
Josh fumes. He knows that Junhui didn't know he heard everything, but he still couldn't help but to be angry about it. The one thing Jun had been right about was that Josh is broken. The older loves Junhui...or loved. He never fathomed the thought that Jun would cheat on him. 
                          
You. You're what's wrong. You never had to lie to me, I never forced you to stay with me. You could have left at any time despite how I felt. But you never had to cheat on me then refuse to leave me by making me out to be weak and helpless without you.
                          
Oh...that
                          
Yea. That. You're honestly pathetic. You could have saved yourself so much trouble, and my heartbreak if you just said something. I'm glad I heard your conversation and I can't believe I wasted so much time on you.
                          
He cried even harder this time. He felt exactly how Jun described: weak. It wasn't because Jun stopped loving him. But because he loved Jun with his whole heart and Jun, in the end, had done the same thing that Jeonghan had done. When Joshua was with Jeonghan, he thought they had a happy, healthy relationship. They were together for four years, but Jeonghan was unfaithful the entire time. He never loved Josh and slept around on him, before he eventually just kicked him to the side for Seungcheol. Junhui had been Joshua's savior, in a sense. He helped him through it all and eventually they ended up in a relationship. With Juns promise that he'd never do that to him.
                          
Move. I'm leaving.
                          
Jun slowly stepped aside, then jumped as Josh threw the door open with strength Junhui didn't know he had. Again, he followed.
                          
Where are you gonna go?
                          
It's not like you fuckin care. I can function perfectly fine without you. Oh and you didn't break me, Jeonghan did.
                          
He could infact function, maybe not perfectly, but he could  function. He carried all of his things out, making multiple trips. Feeling as his heart dropped off bit by bit each time.
                          
I hope you're happy, Junhui.
                          
Joshua left again, permanently this time, promising himself that he wouldn't think about Jun anymore, that he would forget all about him. That he isn't going to be hurt anymore. That last one proved itself more difficult than anything as he thought about how truly happy he had always been with the younger, how he always felt loved. How betrayed he feels that it was fake the entire time. And yet, he somehow felt as though it was his fault. As if he wasn't lovable enough for anyone. He felt useless, like he was taking up the space that could be fulfilled by someone else. Joshua hated feeling like this. He figured he could move to L.A to be back with his mother and leave this country, along with the heartbreak he felt, behind him. 
                          
Meanwhile, Jun sits on the couch smiling to himself. He is happy. He felt like weight had been lifted and he was finally free from some sort of restraint. Though Josh was right, he was never forced to stay with Joshua, but at one point it began to feel like an obligation. So now he was happier than he'd ever been, knowing that he could be with Minghao freely now. His true love.
                          
___
                          
I just got into an argument with my mom. Sigh. Oh well.
                          
Love you babies 💛💛
                          
-hahahaDUH