-69-

                                    

                                          
The day of the madison square garden concert marked the fourth day that Josh and I were passive aggressively living among one another. The flight was emotionally exhausting, I am not a great flyer and the fact that I didn't feel comfortable enough to ask for his support in comforting me.
                          
I decided to just stick with Jenna and Ollie of whom she had brought. Whenever she wanted to speak or spend time with Tyler, I was there to look after him. Josh's eyes burned into me every time I touched the child.
                          
"Dude are you and Sage alright?" Tyler noticed the tension and was surprised he wasn't notified earlier. They didn't know i could hear them as they muttered to each other.
                          
"She's just doing what I did the the proposal. I knew i wanted to marry her but i wasn't ready when she was; i didn't think it was the right time when she did. Eventually, i knew i was ready when she stopped talking about it so much. She'll do the same when i lay off her a little bit, she needs space" He explained, i raised my eyebrows and was slightly offended why what he had just said.
                          
"But you're gonna be alright yeah?" Tyler made sure the godparents of his child weren't about to break up.
                          
"Yeah we're gonna be alright" It was quite reasurring that Josh thought we were going to be alright. They continued to talk but i got distracted because Jenna came back into the room holding Ollie. 
                          
"Look how much hair he's got now, he looks so much like Tyler" I squealed as Jenna handed me the baby. It was about an hour until the show which meant I had a lot of time to spend with baby  Joseph.
                          
"Hey Sage, can we talk?" Josh came over to me sheepishly, saying more words than he has over the past four days to me. I looked at Ollie and then at Jenna; we both knew i needed to talk to Josh but did he have to interupt my baby time? I agreed however and walked out of the dressing room with him. I followed him to a room that had a couple of tables and chairs stacked in it but other than that it was bare. 
                          
"What do you want to talk about?" I asked even though we both knew what we were going to talk about. He sighed and subconsciously flexed his arms in stress. 
                          
"I don't want there to be anything getting in between us. This disagreement needs to go away" He leant up against one of the tables as i folded my arms and popped a hip.
                          
"But it's a disagreement. We want different things at the moment." I pointed out, he looked troubled as if he didn't know what to do.
                          
"Is the miscarriage the only reason you're not ready?" He asked, i didn't expect him to ask me that. I looked at the floor and took in a deep breath. He was right though, it wasn't the only reason but it was the main one. 
                          
"Their all selfish reasons." I muttered but he definitely heard. I watched him roll his eyes and looked away from him again.
                          
"What are they?" He pulled himself up onto a table to prepare himself. I fidgeted in my place, feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed.
                          
"I don't want to give up my job" I mumbled. 
                          
"What?" 
                          
"I don't want to give up my job" I said louder, he raised his eyebrows.
                          
"Why would you have to give up your job?" He looked stunned by my answer. 
                          
"Because, you have this insane job that it perfect for you and having a child means giving up time and I just wouldn't have enough time for the baby and for my job while you are away on tour" I explained as best I could but it wasn't coming out how I wanted it.
                          
"When does your products come out?" He asked, I didn't see what that had to do with anything.
                          
"Two months, maybe three" I answered. He looked to the sky as if he were calculating.