5 - Lonely together

                                    

                                          
I was sitting at my desk, with my head on my hands which were lazily hanging across the table. Kitty was sitting next to me, slowly skimming through his notes.
                          
"Ai'Kit, did N'Ming tell you about the trip some of the engineering students will be taking?"
                          
"Hmnn? Ah yes." He paused his skimming long enough to answer my question.
                          
"Did he tell you they'll be gone all weekend long?" I persisted in bothering him.
                          
"Mhm." This time he answered without looking away from his book.
                          
"How are you going to deal with the loneliness?"
                          
"What loneliness?"
                          
"Aish Kitty, do you want me to spell it out for you? Won't you be lonely if N'Ming is gone the whole weekend?" I gave him an exasperated groan.
                          
"No." 
                          
"Hahaha..." I couldn't help but to give him a humorless laugh. What nonsense. I know he'll be very lonely, he has to be. I can't be the only one worrying about how I'm going to go through the weekend without my boyfriend especially now that I'm used to us being together every weekend. "Kitty, what would you do when you're horny?"
                          
"Huh???" His surprised reaction was exactly as I had hoped. I finally got him to look away from his book and up at me. 
                          
Forth and I have been dating for two months already and being who I am, I made sure we went at it at least three times a week. He has, however, been very busy this week and we haven't gone all the way all week. The one time we had a chance he got called away while I was trying to rip his clothes off and to make things worse he'd be going away all weekend for some kind of hazing activity. 
                          
Why did he have to be next in line to be the head hazer? Hazing is the worst activity the engineering department has. That activity was getting in the way of my plans for the weekend.
                          
"You heard me. Are you going to do it yourself?"
                          
"Why are you asking me this?"
                          
"Because I want to know." 
                          
This is one of several reasons why I never dated seriously until Forth. Loneliness. The old me never had to deal with this. I always had some company, either my best friends or some random girl. 
                          
I felt it a little after my best friends hooked up with their lovers and left me all by myself, but it's different now that I have accepted that I love Forth. When I don't see him or talk to him, I can't stand it, not even if my best friends ignore their lovers and give me all their attention, not even that can help but it's still better than nothing.
                          
I rubbed my chest, wishing I could just claw the feeling out, throw it on the floor and stomp on it until it turned to dust. He hasn't even left yet and I'm feeling it this strongly. I don't know how I'll go through the weekend and since Kit will be in the same soup as I, I was hoping we could help each other out while our men were away, and I don't mean that sexually. 
                          
I want someone who can understand this feeling chewing away at my heart but looking at Kit's reaction, I don't know if he will be of any help.
                          
"Do you love N'Ming?" I watched as Kit's eyes narrowed and his cheeks lightly tinged with color.
                          
"Why are you trying to have this kind of conversation with me? If you want to talk, we can talk about todays lesson or tomorrows lesson, anything else but this." He'd finally turned enough that he was fully facing me.
                          
"If you love him, why won't you be lonely while he's gone? And if you don't really love him, then why are you dating him?"
                          
"What does it matter to you what my feelings for Ming are? And especially now."
                          
"I'm your friend I'm looking out for you."
                          
"Yeah right, you're only doing this because you'll be lonely while Forth is gone. I can keep you company, but I won't have sex with you." I knew he was joking about the last part but I just 
                          
"Eehh, you've hurt my pride." I sat up and clutched my chest dramatically. "I can do some amazing things to you, leave you in ecstasy for weeks."
                          
"Yeah, yeah, say whatever you want." His disinterest in my attempt at a light-hearted conversation irked me.
                          
"Hmmnn, is Ming so good you don't care about doing it with anyone else?" He ignored me and went back to skimming his book. "Kitty...kittyyy..." He didn't mind me, making me feel just a little bit lonelier. 
                          
I glanced at the clock in the classroom before picking up my book too. I read it in preparation for our next class. I'll be seeing Forth soon and I plan to lock him up all night so by the time he leaves for his trip in the morning, I'll have something to hold on to until he gets back. I heaved a sigh at my plan. What am I going to do when we go on vacation? Because I will not be seeing him much.