feelings

                                    

                                          
Kurt's POV
                          
        Me and Ram walk over to the new kid and slump my arms on his shoulder. "Hey sweetheart! What'd your boyfriend say when you told him you'd be moving to Sherwood Ohioooo?" I say. Ram walks up to him and says "My buddy Kurt just asked you a question" I blush for some reason. Why the hell am I blushing? "Isn't there I no Fags aloud policy?" That one hurt. "There seems to be an open door policy for assholes!" The new kid says.
                          
          I throw a punch at him but he soon grabs my arm and throws me to the ground. How embarrassing. Ram tries to grab his arms but he retaliates and elbows Ram in the stomach. After a few more punches and kicks me and Ram are left on the ground. We slowly get up and walk out to the hall. "You okay man?" I say. "Fuckkkk, he can really throw a punch." Ram replies. We both sit down and wait for the bell to ring. 
                          
*time skip to after school*
                          
      After school ends me and Ram meet up. "Kurt, you should stay at my place tonight and help get the party ready tomorrow!" Ram says excitedly "I guess I will. The parents left already...I'll go home and pack my shit then I'll drive to your place." I say. "Punch it in!" Ram says holding out his fist. I fist bump him back. "See you later man!" Ram says excitedly. We both part ways and head home.
                          
        I pull into my driveway and run inside. I go upstairs to my room and pull out my notebook. No one knows I write in one. I grab a pen and start writing.
                          
      I write: I can't believe myself. I feel like I can't keep up this act much longer. I hate using slurs ..it's bad because I'm  gay myself...if that makes sense. I've always felt something there- and the weird part is that I kinda feel this way for my best friend. I don't know how to explain it really. It's kinda like when I see a girl I think she's pretty in all but it doesn't spark the same feeling as when I see Ram. When I'm making out with a girl I feel like there's no real love in it. It feels not right. I want to be with Ram but I know I can't. 
                          
      I soon realize what I'm writing. "I'm not a fag!" I yell, frustrated at myself and my feelings. I decide to put the notebook back in my drawer and pack my stuff. 
                          
     Once I'm packed I head to Rams house. When I get there I knock on the door. He answers the door "Hey man!" He says. Then he suddenly he hugs me. I feel my face heat up. I hug him back and say a simple "Hi". He lets go and so do I. "No homo bro" he says to me. That kinda hurt.. 
                          
     I walk in and throw my bag in his room. "Wanna watch a movie?" Ram says.  "Sure" I reply with. We both go to the living room and I sit on the couch while he makes some popcorn. Ram sets the popcorn down and grabs some blankets. He puts the blanket on both of us and scoots really close to me. I blush and look away. I think to myself: FUCK! Is he trying to make me blush!? 
                          
     After about an hour Ram fell asleep with his head on my shoulder. It was the cutest thing ever! I blush even more. I mentally face palm. YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO LIKE BOYS KURT! HE'S NOT CUTE! GET HIM OUT OF YOUR HEAD!! REMEMBER THE GIRLS!!! Thats just my mind speaking for me.
                          
      The movie ends and Ram is still asleep. I tap him and he wakes up. He looks around for a second then looks up at me. 
                          
Rams POV
                          
     I wake up to tapping. I open my eyes and look around remembering that I was watching a movie with Kurt. I blush realizing how close I am to him. Im happy he can't see my blush considering it's dark already.
                          
*skip to later in the evening*
                          
      "We should go to bed now. We'll be up late tomorrow" I say. Kurt responds with a nod. We both go to my room. We both change, its not weird considering we change in front of each other during football. I look at him; he's fit...really fit. I find myself staring. "FAG!" Kurt yells at me. I wince at that then reply "I'm not gay!" "Then why were you staring at me!" He says "I wasn't!" I reply. After that we both shut up. "Let's just go to sleep" I turn off the lights then we both get into my bed. 
                          
     Soon enough Kurt is asleep. I look at Kurt, He's so handsome. I wish I could tell him how I feel. I'm gay, gay for him. But if I told anyone....it'd ruin me. If I told Kurt he'd call me a fag and He'd walk away. If the word got out, i'd be the laughing- stock of the school. I hate our school. They don't know anything and when they do...they just make fun of everyone. It really sucks. I stop thinking. I can't be gay!  It's impossible!
                          
This ones not too long either. 895 words. I'd like to write longer chapters. The next one will be the party!