16

                                    

                                          
//hng i feel so sorry for you all
                          
What is time? How long have I slept? What happened after I passed out? Did Minghao die? Did I die? What about Dongho? Am I in heaven? Or hell, it would suit me better.
                          
I just see the same dream again and again and nothing makes sense. In the dream I'm lost in the maze and I can't find way to home. And when I thought I see the end, the dream ends, but soon starts again at the beginning of the maze. I try different roads but nothing works. 
                          
Suddenly the dream just stops. It becomes dark and empty. Nothing, only hearing a heartbeat, really slowly pounding. I can't think anything, only waiting when my heartbeat finally stops after those long breaks between the beat. It feels so weird. Like I can't control anything. 
                          
Then it stops. Like it would have been hitted against a wall. My heart stops. 
                          
That's it? Nothing more? Is this how my life ended? It feels so wrong. Why do I still want to fight against death, when I lost? Is there something why do I want to fight? 
                          
Minghao. 
                          
He really is something I will be missing being under the ground buried. I can still imagine his face. And his voice. I good feeling embraces me feeling the echoes finally hearing voice. It's a memory of Hao. His voice, calling my name.
                          
Oh, I would do anything to kiss that little nose of his. I would do anything if I could spent the last day with him. 
                          
I see a bright light coming through. Wow it's exactly how people describe dying. 
                          
But wait,
                          
why does my death look like hospital. 
                          
"Jun!" I feel someone hugging me thightly hearing his loud crying. What the hell is this?
                          
I lift my weak hand up to feel the person on top of me, hand going to his black smooth hair and smelling his familiar scent. "Ha.. Hao..?", it hurts to speak but I don't care. This isn't my death. This means I'm alive. 
                          
Minghao appears on my sight, cheeks wet and a happy smile on his mouth. I lift my hand to touch his face, trying if I'm really alive. When he puts his hand on mine on his cheek I know I'm back, and relieved chuckle slips out of my lips. "You.. We.. We are alive", I try to catch my thoughts and Minghao laughs cryung at the same time. 
                          
"Jun", he mumbles and hugs me again. "I'm so glad!! I love you!!" his voice is broken, but at the same time feels like he has so many emotions. I kiss his hair closing my eyes for a second keeping Minghao close. "I'm sorry if I scared you. I love you too", my whisper is quiet but Minghao hears it and wipes his tears looking at me again.
                          
"I'm sorry too. I've said so many bad things to you that I thought I never got to apologize for them. I thought you are not going to wake up and-" 
                          
"Shh, it's okay baby", I chuckle as he panics and pull his face closer carefully. I smile before kissing his lips passionately and he closes his eyes responging to the kiss. After we separate, Minghao kisses my cheek and sighs. 
                          
"Thank you for coming back". 
                          
I'm quiet for a minute. "Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" I explore his hands with scars. Weird, they have already almost healed. Minghao nods. 
                          
"It's thanks to you. You pulled me out. Thank you for saving my life.. I only slept like few days", he smiles sadly and that's when reality hits. Or the time hits. I rise a little upper to sit to find a some kind of clock or calender. "You have been sleeping six weeks..", Minghao whispers. 
                          
My eyes shots at him as I try to figure out everything. The door slams open at the same time and a doctor walks in smiling as he starts to check how i'm feeling. "Can you remember your name? Does it hurt somewhere? Open your mouth", I answer to the questions and do what the female doctor asks. When she is done she miles to Minghao to tell that I'm fine and something about whe  I can leave.
                          
I'm still in a shock. Six months? What the hell have happened since i was sleeping? Did Minghao give up? Did my family visit? I have so many questions that I don't know where to start so I just watch as Minghao climbs next to me to the bed, hugging me and husing me as a pillow. 
                          
"Never sleep again", he whispers in the silence. I let a laugh and hug him against my body. "Never ever". 


                          
//short chapter but yay he breathes :) seungcheol is a daddy at the ideal cut concerts i just cant and a new comeback announced i might have died

                          
i also asked my friend to name seventeen members (she is non-fan lmao) and here is what i got
                          

                          
i died.