Chapter Eleven

                                    

                                          
~Levi's POV~
                          
My head hurt to the point where I didn't want to walk anymore. 
                          
I'm surprised with myself that I thought that someone could accept me as an individual. 
                          
I just wanted someone to not use me as a pawn in there little game of life. Someone who actually cared for my existence. Someone who would shed at least one tear if I disappeared from the world. 
                          
I felt like a match who's light gave out. Left to rot in the darkness.
                          
Ever since I came to this school, I just kept hurting myself even more. I just wanted to make my mother happy. And what did I get in return? Gashes across my face and a broken heart. 
                          
I'm so dumb.
                          
Ever since I came into this world, I always ignored the truth. I tried to keep my mind towards happiness and only that. I thought that if I could at least be happy then I could overlook the sadness that tried to get inside me.
                          
But that's not true. That's the deception I've been living with.
                          
The sadness isn't around me. It's inside of me. And every time it leaks out through a tiny crack, I patch it up with another lie. Not only do the lies build up, but does the sorrow. 
                          
It's like when you shake a closed soda bottle. The pressure builds up inside and you finally...explode.
                          
I'm pathetic.
                          
I had been walking for nearly hours now, I don't even know where I am. By now, I wouldn't be surprised if they sent a search party out for me. 
                          
Nah, they wouldn't care that much about the new kid.
                          
An unfamiliar scent soon washed through my nose. It was strong, almost had a little sting to it. I looked down at my feet to find grass covered in a small, light brown grains. As I walked further ahead, I noticed the grass had disappeared and it was filled with those small grains.
                          
"Is this...sand?"
                          
~Eren's POV~ 
                          
"Yo Eren! What's the deal with that fag?" Jean jokingly nudged me, "Wanna sit back down? Eren?"
                          
"Don't call him that..."
                          
"Call him what," Jean questioned.
                          
"A FAGGOT!! TELL ME WHAT HE DID TO DESERVE THIS FROM US?" The two boys stared at me in shock as I screamed outside the diner.
                          
"What do you mean 'to deserve this'? It's obvious!" Reiner replied however lacking confidence within his words.
                          
"WHY? Is it because he's gay, Reiner ? Huh? Are you two homophobic?" I walked up to the horse face while grabbing the collar of his shirt.
                          
"Well...I..." Jean stuttered.
                          
"WELL I'M GAY!! CALL ME A FAGGOT, TREAT ME THE SAME WAY YOU TREATED HIM! HIT ME, KICK ME, BEAT ME TO A PULP! I DARE YOU!"
                          
Jean's face went pale once those words left my mouth. I didn't regret them. But I did regret letting Reiner and Jean influence me causing me to lose Levi.
                          
Reiner walked up to me cautiously, "You're...gay? You're playing right man?"
                          
I stared daggers at blonde as he stepped closer to me holding Jean, but instantly backed away.
                          
"Sorry..." they both mumbled.
                          
"Sorry for what exactly, tell me! Sorry for making Levi cry? Sorry for beating Levi up? Bashing his head in a wall? All the names you called him? Or  are you sorry for me being gay?"
                          
"Eren...it's not like that..."
                          
"You guys look at gay people as if they're a disease infesting the human population!! We're not the diseases, people like you who are close minded are! Your intolerance is contagious and I'd rather die than catch it from you assholes," with those last words I released my grip on Jean. 
                          
I followed in the direction Levi went trying to catch up to him, but it was no use. The groups of people continued bumping into me as I tried to shuffle by. It was as busy as New York City. There was no hope in finding him. 
                          
Heading back towards the campus, I couldn't really help, but think of him. I missed his touch, I missed his kisses, I missed him. 
                          
Walking back into my dorm room, I didn't even take off my clothes. I laid down in Levi's bed, even though I knew he was a clean freak from what he told me before. I didn't care about the germs, I cared about the lover I had just lost.
                          
After being face first into the pillow for a few minutes, I heard a voice from behind me. However, it wasn't the voice that I needed to hear.
                          
"Hey Eren, Reiner told me to get you, we have to practice for the big game on Tuesday...ya know...against the Titans."
                          
"Go away Connie, I'm not coming to practice..."
                          
"Eren. Reiner and Jean told the entire team what you said...about you being gay," Connie said in an accepting tone, "We're all okay with it...even Jean and Reiner."
                          
My head shot up and glared at Connie, "Jean and Reiner accept me? I'm gonna beat their asses!"
                          
Connie nodded uncomfortably while I bolted past him.
                          
"Eren wait!! I know your mad, please wait!!"
                          
Surprisingly, I listened and slowed my pace while I waited for Connie to catch up.
                          
"They disownded Levi, but accept me? Connie. Don't you think that's bullshit?"
                          
"Of course I do! But fighting the two of them isn't gonna help the situation. Your essentially just gonna be pouring more fuel into the fire! Think about this, would Levi want this?" Connie tired to sound inspiring.
                          
"Duh, eye for an eye!" I ignored Connie's speech as I continued to walk down the hall to the stairs. 
                          
I found Connie's grip around my arm before I left the second floor.
                          
"Eren listen. You're the captain of the soccer team. You should be solving problems instead of making them worse. If you were to fight Jean and Reiner, you would be no different from the two of them. You would be fighting people based on their opinions, just like the two did to Levi. You would be the same at them, I repeat, the same! Now that is what Levi doesn't want. I know it for a fact!"
                          
Connie's grip soon loosened as he noticed the now calm expression on my face.
                          
"Sorry, Connie. I overreacted. Let's go...practice."
                          
"Great! So we have practice until four today, practice tomorrow at the same time, and practice on the morning of Tuesday, can you make all three?"
                          
Hesitating for a few seconds, I finally replied, "I can come today and tomorrow, but I can't make Tuesday morning, I have plans to do."
                          
Connie nodded as we headed downstairs, "That's good enough for me."