4 Uncertainty

                                    

                                          


                          
It was like a dream, but at the same time not. I didn't understand Harry at all and I didn't understand why he was so different. It was as if he did everything to not belong to the regular part of the population. I didn't think that his way of thinking made him unique, no it made me thinking about it even more. I didn't dared telling him what I thought about that, and I chose to go with the flew. After all, I was afraid he wouldn't like to be with me, if I questioned him, or how he wanted it to be. Deep down, it was still only closeness as I wanted, but I knew that one day I would wanted more.
                          
"Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
                          
I asked that when we sat and ate breakfast together. Harry frowned and he didn't seemed to like the question.
                          
"Yes, I have had some before you." he looked down at the coffee cup. "I don't like that you put a gender on them. Does it matter if it was girls or guys."
                          
I swallowed and I came up with a faint smile.
                          
"Harry stop having the tags against me. I just want to get to know you." and indeed that was true. "I don't care about your background, I just want to get to know you."
                          
He leaned back in his chair and he looked straight at me. He hesitated, and he was thinking before his mouth opened.
                          
"Niall, I'm a difficult person and I'm sure you already have understood that." He cocked his head slightly to one side and he tried to smile. "I'm not like everyone else and I know that you're one of the few who might accept me as me."
                          
Okay, he didn't want to answer questions directly?
                          
"I've had three girls before you." I started just to prove that the truth wasn't difficult. "I've never been with a guy before and I never thought I would end up in this situation. I work where there's work to do and I'll do anything to not have to go back to Ireland again. And I love the color blue, I prefer chicken and I drink all that you can drink. On Sundays, I usually change my mind about how I live, but when it comes down to the fact,  I'm doing what I can to live. I have a brother named Greg and he's perfect. Unlike me, he's married and has a son. "
                          
Harry just stared at me. I chose to continue in the same spirit.
                          
"My mom thinks I'm lazy and my dad thinks I can do more with my life, but I'll be honest, I'm happy with my life."
                          
He seemed to listen. I tried to smile and I tried to think about more things to tell him about myself.
                          
"I moved here because Ireland's too small. It didn't happen a lot where I lived and the people were boring. I like to have people around me and I love to be where things happen. I have never tried drugs and I have no diseases."
                          
Harry raised his eyebrows.
                          
"Niall, is it important that you tell me about such things?"
                          
I nodded.
                          
"It's like that normal people get to know each other. They talk about their background and they talk about experience and so on."
                          
Harry cleared his throat a little and he leaned against the table. He put his hands under his chin, and he looked straight into my eyes.
                          
"Gemma, that's my sister. She's my role model and she's the one who always helped me." he began. "I grew up in a boring town, and I never fitted in. I came to London to become a star, but so far, I haven't succeeded with that dream."
                          
I smiled to show that I was glad to know some truth, that he finally opened up a bit for me.
                          
"Parents?"
                          
He shrugged at his shoulders a little.
                          
"Yes, I have a mother. She's my everything. My dad's out of the picture and I don't want to talk about him."