Chapter 11

                                    

                                          
     Before I could even go closer to Jeongin, he was already inside the emergency room.
                          
     "W-What the heck happened, hyung?" I faced them. I'm breathing so heavily, and so are they. I feel so lost and I don't know where I should start. I don't even know what I should feel first: should I be happy because they got Jeongin back or should I be fcking sad because he's not okay! I can't think straight right now; the fact that my best friend is right there in the emergency room makes me feel so scared. Memories from the day that Chan hyung died came flooding back. I don't think I can still take it if he were to follow Chan hyung – if he were gone too. 
                          
     "W-We don't know, Hyunjin... they just tossed him out like Changbin." I wiped my whole face using my two hands and grabbed my own hair. I feel so frustrated and horrified that I don't know if I can still go on with this.
                          
     "I can't take this anymore..." I breathed. "M-Maybe, you should just... k-kill me now, Felix."
                          
     "Hyunjin, stop that. It's not funny." Woojin hyung stopped me.
                          
     "I'm not joking!" I yelled. "This will only stop if Felix would k-kill me! So I'm telling you right now to d-do it!"
                          
     "I won't! Hyunjin, can you clear your mind? Y-You should be the one reporting me right now, so this would end!" Felix answered. I approached him and hold onto the edge of his clothes.
                          
     "F-Felix, if you kill me n-now, everything will be okay. Everything will come b-back to how it used to be."
                          
     "Hyunjin, what kind of nonsense is that? Whatever we do, it will not be okay! We can't bring back the way we used to be." He stared right into my eyes and I can feel every word he says. "Do you think we can still live like we used to be if you and Chan hyung were not here anymore? Do you think I won't have nightmares every night, thinking that both of you were killed by me?"
                          
     "What are you both talking about? What do you mean he should kill you?" Woojin hyung asked me. "And why should you be reported? You killed Chan?" His eyes were big and shocked when he asked.
                          
     "He did not!" I answered in a bolt. 
                          
     I hold on to Felix's clothes tighter and kneeled before him. My eyes were fixed at the floor and I can feel the tears running down my nose bridge. 
                          
     "Hyunjin, get up! Get up!" both of them were pulling me up, but I stayed in that position.
                          
     "Felix... p-please... I can't take it anymore. I can't s-see Jeongin dying too."
                          
     "W-Well, what do you think of us? Do you think we can take it if Jeongin and you die?" Felix then kneeled in front of me and lifted my chin. His eyes were soft and sincere. "Hyunjin, we're still here..." 
                          
     Woojin hyung also lowered and hugged me, and that made me cry even more. "H-Hyung..." I mumbled between my sobs.
                          
     "Shh... we can get through this..." He whispered in my ear. "Stray strong, we need you here."
                          
     After that, they got me up and they let me calm myself. I'm so lucky to have these guys as my brothers – who would always get me up when I'm down and hopeless. We may not be brothers by blood, but by heart. Maybe the one who killed Chan hyung... is really not one of us? We treated each other as family, and our family doesn't do such things to a family member. Never, and it's not yet the end. We still have hope. It's too early to give up now, and they're right, I need to stay strong. We won't let this person break us apart.
                          
     "Hyunjin!" I turned as I wiped my tears away, when I heard Minho hyung's voice. He was shocked when he saw Woojin hyung and Felix with me. "What the heck? You're here? Where's Jeongin? Is he okay? Tell me he's okay. I'm really really worried! You too, are you okay? Are you hurt?"