Chapter Seventeen

                                    

                                          
"Let me see this Riley guy and ill sock him out." Louis says as we walk on the sand. 
                          
I shake my head," Hes not worth it." 
                          
The gray sky matches my mood as we walk along the empty beach. Its officially the start of Spring, but for early April the cold is unrelenting. I wrap my sweater tighter around myself as I feel some of the ocean water spray my face. 
                          
" Have you thought about staying out here?" He asks me. 
                          
I shrug," There isn't anything holding me here." 
                          
He forces out a laugh," What you mean is you want to get as far away from Harry as possible." 
                          
I smile guiltily," That too." 
                          
"Why dont you try fighting for him?" 
                          
I shake my head," It wouldn't be fair to him. I cant give him everything he needs, because...well..."
                          
"I still cant believe you're a robot." He says. 
                          
I sigh," Yeah that makes two of us."

                          
He looks over at me, his hair being blown out of his face," I think you're very selfless for putting Harry before yourself. It shows how much you love him."
                          
I sit down in the sand and bring my knees to my chest," Maybe I have Stockholm syndrome." I say with a smirk. 
                          
He looks at me with amused eyes," So you've been listening to our old stuff, eh?"
                          
I shrug trying to force the smile from my face," No, im serious. Maybe I dont actually love him, maybe Im just confusing being forced to be around him for long periods of time with loving him."
                          
He rubs his chin," It could be possible. Explain how he makes you feel, that might clear things up a bit." 
                          
I snort," Well lately hes made me feel like shit. Before that, he made me feel like I was the only girl who mattered to him. I thought I could trust him because he owned me, I mean why would he just throw me away after he paid so much? But what I forgot is that toys are thrown away all the time and replaced with better, more advanced options."
                          
He nodded," So he made you feel important, what else?"
                          
I think about it," He made me happy, and I cant really explain why. Just talking to him would cheer me up, seeing him smile made me smile. Knowing what he would eat for breakfast everyday and knowing his annoying habits made me feel like I was special. I got to see a part of him that he doesn't reveal to the cameras. I got to know who he really is and not who he pretends to be."
                          
"You've got it bad." He says. 
                          
I roll my eyes and stand, making my way back to the house. Talking about how I felt for Harry out loud made me feel worse. I realized that I do love him, I know it in my heart, but I dont want to anymore. 
                          
When people say love is a choice they are lying. Why would anyone choose to put themselves threw the pain of loving someone they cant have? If I could choose to not love Harry, I would. 
                          
"Hey Sam!" I hear Katelyn call as I make my way into the house. 
                          
I force a smile to her," Hey."
                          
She waves me over to sit down next to her," Me and some of my friends are going out tonight, wanna come with?" She asks. 
                          
My eyes widen at her invitation," Oh, um...I would love to, but I already have plans with Lou." I lie. 
                          
She tilts her head," I thought Harry was going out with Louis for a boys night."