5.9

                                    

                                          
i walked around the house with charlotte in my arms. i did everything to try to get her to sleep, but she seemed to have a bad case of missing joel. that made two of us.
                          
she wasn't crying, thank god, but she wasn't anywhere near being sleepy. i don't get it, she barely slept during the day because she was with zayn, i fed and burped her, i sang a lullaby, bathed her, everything. i tried everything, and she still is awake as ever. 
                          
the sound of my ringtone interrupted me from my thoughts. i quickly picked it up, only to find an incoming facetime call from joel. i accepted the call and placed it on the kitchen counter, resting it against the wall so i could see him and keep charlotte in my arms.
                          
"hey, babe." i smiled as soon as i could see him. 
                          
"hey." he murmured. he seemed tired, even though the had only been gone for a week. "how are my favorite girls?"
                          
"charlotte doesn't want to go to sleep, and i want to sleep enough for the both of us." i giggled. "we can't seem to get to a mutual agreement."
                          
he chuckled, but then he was quiet for a moment and i thought he had fallen asleep on me. 
                          
"what were you doing out with zayn today?" 
                          
i rubbed charlotte's back as i rested her on my shoulder. "he wanted to spend some time with us outside the house. oh! two girls came up to our table and guess what? they wanted a picture with me! can you believe it? i thought they were like those mean fans from twitter that talk shit about me– fuck charlotte don't listen to your mommy cursing, the point of this story is that i found it so cute that they wanted a picture with me, like why would they want a picture with me, i don't know!"
                          
joel grinned, but then he started scowling. "i don't think you should be seen with him, baby."
                          
i frowned. "why not? i don't want him to go out alone with lot—"
                          
"what i meant was that i don't think you should be near him at all. outside or inside the house."
                          
i furrowed my eyebrows. "why? i can't just–" i sighed. "he's her father, joel. i have to see him at some point."
                          
"i don't want him near you. i don't trust him one bit, his while nice act is complete bullshit and he'll fuck you up when you least expect it."
                          
i held charlotte close to my chest, trying to cover her ears. "i swear to god if her first word is fuck or shit i won't even be surprised."
                          
i felt joel's eyes glaring at me through the phone. "are you ignoring me now?"
                          
i rolled my eyes. "what crawled up your a– butt? i can't joke either? my bad."
                          
joel ran his hand over his face. "isabella."
                          
i almost gasped out loud. "isabella? no baby, babe or princess?"
                          
a female voice could be faintly heard. joel looked up and put him phone down, leaving me staring at a black screen. i gritted my teeth and took my phone upstairs to leave charlotte in her crib.
                          
i dropped on my bed and looked at my phone, he left me on pause now. he must have it muted because i couldn't hear anything. i was almost on the verge of dropping my phone and falling asleep when he finally spoke again.
                          
"sorry, i'm here." he was almost whispering by now.
                          
"thank god, i thought you were cheating on me and forgot we were on facetime." he glared at me. i laughed. "dude, i'm kidding, don't take it so seriously."
                          
he rolled his eyes. "whatever, just stay away from zayn."
                          
"who are you to tell me who i can be with or not? you're not even actually my boyfriend! why should i listen to you?"
                          
his face dropped and i immediately regretted what i said. 
                          
"joel i—"
                          
"no, you're right. i'm not your boyfriend or anything." he bit his lip. "i have to go."
                          
he hung up without another word, but i kept staring at my phone's screen. i can't believe i just spit that out at him. i didn't mean to say that, but he was just acting so cold with me and i wanted to hurt him... god, i need to fix this and do it quickly.