Maximum Fear = Maximum pay off

                                    

                                          


                          
I wake up next to her again and it still feels like a dream. But the aches and pains let me know it's real. The pain I find myself sharing with her is different from what I'm use to. I'm not sure what it is about her, maybe it's a combination of things, but she's got a hold on me that I'm not use to. At first it was scary and jarring though now, well now, it's a cradle that I can't help but lean into. So it's hard to leave her warm bed, sliding past her cool skin and scars is different type of agony. One I'm surely not use to. My bags are packed, it takes only a few moments before I'm fully dressed. But in that time she's up and I don't hear her. She slips in front of me to give me a look.
                          
"And I thought you wouldn't sneak off so loudly," she says in a whisper even though it's only the two of us in her dark apartment.
                          
"And I told you I didn't want to wake you up Mi," I say in a scold but she just smiles at me as she shakes her head. She kisses my cheek and pokes at my chest.
                          
"Be safe- well as safe as you can- call me, text me," She hums and I shake my head at her and kiss her to shut her up. She's still asleep on her feet. Rambling. 
                          
"You're such a mess Milou, I'll be fine. Now get some sleep." I breath and she nods. 
                          
She watches me slip away and I slink off into the night. The air hot and wet with the rain that's just fallen. I find my way to the airport. I've got a old smuggling friend helping me get my stuff out without there being to much of a pay off. The flight is good, and when we land I find myself in a hot and sunny foreign country. Walking out I find none other than Roy waiting for me. He might be a pain in the ass sometimes be he was a friend, and a loyal one at that.
                          
"Hey you son of a bitch, long time no see," Roy smiles approaching. 
                          
There's a short embrace before he grabs one of my bags and throws it in the car he has. I'm not sure if it's his but he's got it.
                          
"Glad to see you're still alive," I smile and he laughs.
                          
"I am too- you ready to get back to makin' some money and doin' some bigger jobs?" he asks and I sigh.
                          
"Ah yes back to what we call 'normal life' huh?" I hum getting in the car with him.
                          
"Yup- but then again you might've had something a little more normal back in gotham- what's her name again? Mia?" He asks and I scoff and shake my head.
                          
"Milou-"

                          
"Oh YeaH the task force agent- no I remember. She sounds a bit more normal than us though," Roy laughs and I laugh with him.
                          
"You'd be wrong there, you'd like her friend Lucas, but then again he runs a bar so you might need some super vision," I sigh and Roy sighs with me
                          
"I'm getting better but you're probably right.... You made such a fuss about meeting her and then poof you can't seem to get enough of her. You hate gotham but you don't seem to hate her," He smirks and I roll my eyes at him.
                          
"Oh shut it- she makes it easier I'll admit that. The bat was gone on league issues- little bird came around a few times. How about you?" I ask and he shrugs.
                          
"Found some business prospects, done some tracking and odd jobs here and there, what about you? You said taking down some gangs or some corruption infrastructure?" he asks and I nodd.
                          
We talk shop but all the while I text Milou.
                          
That my planes landed safe. About the town we're driving through. About Roy. 
                          
And today is her own again. Picking up her bike and taking stairs two at a time. Riding through the streets. Feeling the aches and pains we got the night before. It makes her smile. She's a flurry of speed to the people around her. High speed high risks but she's got her something in her heart that keeps her careful. Narrowly missing cars, less reckless but more speed. She pushes but she feels like she can breath. She knows it's a familiar feeling. The same feeling she gets around me. She chases it. 
                          
She thinks of the impossibility of it. How could he make me feel the way this does just with that damn smirk or smile, she wonders. But she's smiling at it. She lives in it. She won't say she misses me just yet. But she does. Jen sees it, Lucas does too. 
                          
To her it's the same feeling of free falling off a skyscraper. Heart pounding gut turning, brink of death. Yet beyond the point of maximum fear is the land of euphoria. It's the same to me as being with her. The fear of losing, but beyond that, is the payoff of having someone like her. 
                          
Maximum fear, it's almost nothing to people like us now. We fear small things. But for big reasons. But now, it's a taste neither of us can stay away from. So now we run for it. Roy laughs when he sees me smiling at a photo she's sent me. He thinks I'm gone for it. I don't know it yet but I am.
                          
~
                          
Milou
-so what did you do this time?-
                          
Me
-dislocate my shoulder, but that's really the worst of it,-
                          
Milou
-well that's good at least, Lucas said he got some tips so I'll be working with him tonight-
                          
Me
-Lord the moment I leave it all picks up again huh?-
                          
Milou
-well since redhood isn't in town people start getting ballsy. Robin isn't really that scary without the big bat or his team. I heard Nightwing was in town though-
                          
Me
-jesus the bat really is taking his time with this huh?-
                          
Milou
-yeah it's a bit annoying but sorta fun, get to punch more people-
                          
Me
-you're ridiculous, don't forget to double wrap your knuckles this time alright?-
                          
Milou
-THey'll be FinE with ONe wrAp-
                          
Me
-you StiLl gashed Them LasT time With One-
                          
Milou
-what r u my dad?-
                          
Me
-no but I swear you almost called me daddy-
                          
Milou
-don't even fucking joke that's soooooo grooooosssss-
                          
Me
-Still though babe take care of yourself..-
                          
Milou
-..... Did you just call me babe?-
                          
Me
-shit uh yeah I guess I did,-
                          
Milou
-lol redhood just called me babe-
                          
Me
-you know what you fuckin dweeb i'm bout to fly back to gotham just to put you in a headlock-
                          
Milou
-what you fuck with me I can't fuck with you?-
                          
Me
-no but you can definitely fuck me-
                          
Milou
-oh wow someone's in a mood-
                          
Me
-is this a problem?-
                          
Milou
-oh no not at all it's only a problem for you since I'm not there ;)-
                          
Me
-get that winky face out of here god damn it-
                          
Milou
-ruuudddee and I was thinkin about sendin you selfies, guess not-
                          
Me
-no wait-
                          
Me
-come back-
                          
Milou
-HAhA wow okay fine fine, I'm out though so you gotta wait-
                          
Me
-fuck. Well this if fine, what are you up too?-
                          
Milou
-bout to punch some guy's teeth down his throat BrB-
                          
Me
-fucking seriously?-
                          
Milou
- :) -