Chapter 6

                                    

                                          
family meeting
                          
the thing i had been dreading since i got here
                          
there was so much anxiety building up to this moment, my therapist didn't know he hurt me yet. somehow my mom hasn't noticed in all these years even with the verbal abuse she gets from him daily. i was terrified to see him again, what if he hits me here? what would happen?
                          
"luke it's time for your family session" a nurse said popping her head into my room-empty other than me. 

                          
i walked down the white hallway to a room with a therapist before seeing my mom and chris  
                          
"Hi luke, so we're going to confront some of the issues that had you placed here. Is there anything you'd like to tell me in private before we start the session"
                          
now's your chance luke. tell her
                          
i nodded and a nurse led the other two out of the room
                          
"okay luke, what's going on"
                          
"my moms husband-my step dad, chris, he abuses me. physically and mentally" 
                          
—
                          
"ashton is there really nothing you want to say to me?" my mom asked sitting across the room from men 
                          
"i don't know what you want me to say mum" 
                          
"why can't you stop ash? what's so bad that you need to cut open your skin?"
                          
"don't you get it? i'm depressed, i've been fucking depressed for years! and now you put me in this stupid place!"
                          
"ashton, nurse Alice will take you for a drink, take the time to calm down. We'll end this session here"
                          
walking back into my room was a reminder of why i'm here. nobody cares about me, nobody's ever here for me, this goddamn room is empty i can't even talk to anyone. so i slowly made my way into the bathroom doing the only thing that would make me feel better...
                          
—-
                          
"calum thomas hood what were you thinking!" 
                          
i stayed silent staring at my stupid hospital socks 
                          
"calum honey i know you're going through things but you're at a rehabilitation center to get better baby" my mom said through the phone 
                          
"i know" 

                          
"you're not getting better, you just tried to kill yourself honey"
                          
"mum it doesn't just happen immediately, it's hard and i've gotta try. i have to take time"
                          
"i just hope you know you're not going to get discharged until you're actually better"
                          
"i know mom"
                          
"okay honey, i have to go run some errands i'll call you tonight, i love you"
                          
"love you too"
                          
i sighed getting off the chair underneath the phone and walking back into our room. quiet sobs were coming from the bathroom and i slowly pushed it open 
                          
"ashton"
                          
he looked up at me with watery eyes, a blade sitting in front of him but no blood was visible. 
                          
"my mom thinks i'm a failure" he choked out "i am"
                          
"no, no, no, ashton you're not. you're amazing man, sure you've got your problems but we all do. obviously" 
                          
he took shaky breath and shrugged "how was your call"
                          
"just a normal conversation with my mom, nothing special. i'm guessing your session wasn't great" i said motioning to the blade next to us and he nodded