5.5

                                    

                                          
i never thought i would have to be face to face, alone, voluntarily with zayn. i mean, it couldn't be very voluntarily if some old dude who hasn't gotten laid in 500 years dressed like he's about to graduate was making me talk to him.
                          
he was so gorgeous up close though, his slight scruff made me regret not remembering how it felt against my thighs. his dark eyes had something special that could make anyone get lost inside them. it's no wonder why i slept with him...
                          
he smiled down at charlotte, and she giggled at him. i watched him take a deep breath before reaching towards her, only for her to hold onto his index finger with her tiny hands. seeing a grown man with tattoos all over his arms and chest on the verge of tears for a baby was a funny sight. 
                          
"are you going with them?" he murmured softly, as if he was afraid of making charlotte cry if he spoke any louder. 
                          
the guys have to go on a small tour around the states, signing posters and taking pictures with the fans before they release their album. i already checked my twitter earlier, many "fans" were claiming joel and i's relationship was fake, and that plus zayn suing me was just a tactic to make their album sales go through the roof. technically, the relationship was fake at first, so they're not completely wrong.
                          
"no," i murmured back just as softly. "charlotte is too small to be traveling."
                          
he looked up at me for a couple of seconds, but charlotte made grabby hands at him. he picked her up and gently cradled her in his arms. i walked out of the room, letting him enjoy his first moment alone with her. 
                          
i bumped into zabdiel as i was walking out. he held onto me so i wouldn't fall and furrowed his eyebrows, "why are you leaving in such a hurry?" 
                          
i shook my head. "i just wanna get some air, i left charlotte with zayn in her room. i'll be right back." i quickly moved his hands from my shoulders and made my way outside. 
                          
once i was in the backyard, i sat at the edge of the pool and admired the sky. i felt someone sit beside me. i didn't even bother look, i knew who it was. i looked down at my baby girl, who was peacefully sleeping in his arms. i looked up at him and i could almost swear i saw him look down at my lips.
                          
zayn was a confusing man, i will never know why he was so nice when we met, such an asshole the morning after, and now he's being nice again. i hope he's not trying to fuck my life over now just as i'm almost about to get my shit together again.