Just be okay

                                    

                                          


                          
"Honestly Dr. Y/N," a familiar feminine voice whispers beside him. The sound nags Taehyung, a voice he knows but a voice he doesn't want to hear. "He's fine. He just needs to stay in bed for a day. He took quite a stab with that scalpel." 
                          
You release his hand to grab a wet cloth for his face. "You don't have to tell me, I was there, you were hiding. Not that I can blame you ...you're pregnant ...I just..." 
                          
"I thought his jacket would at least protect him from most of the knife," your voice sounds so broken, he doesn't know how to process that, he doesn't even want to. "I didn't even think it would be this bad." 
                          
"Don't beat yourself up about it," She watches you dab his forehead with the cooling cloth. "It happened so quickly, I don't expect you to remember everything." 
                          
"The force he threw into it ...it's chilling actually because I can't stop thinking about it ...the man wanted to kill you," Taehyung frowns as he tries to pull himself through the foggy mist in front of his eyes. Someone tried to kill you? "I mean, I'm not fond of you either but Y/N, I've never seen such devilish eyes before. He looked evil." 
                          
 "And this big stupid idiot, threw himself in front of me," you sob, and Taehyung feels a warm hand brush his hair back. It must be yours. "He's taller than me, if he hadn't jumped in front of me ...he would've... he could've..." 
                          
"Great, you've realised. He would've sliced open your throat Y/N," she finishes for you. "Better him than you, he can bounce back from this. You definitely ...would not have..." 
                          
"I h-hope so ...no one has ever done something like that for me... I just ...I can't believe he did that," You lean close to him, tenderly placing a kiss on his temple, something you hope translates to how thankful you are that you're both okay as tears fall down your face. "I just ...don't understand, why? Why did he do it."
                          
"For a doctor, you're stupid," Pulling back, you look up to her as she stares softly at you both. "Why else would he do it?" 
                          
Silence ensues as you think. 
                          
And she rolls her eyes at your ignorance.  
                          
"Y/N, it's only ever been you. So, of course he'd save you," you watch Mina's ringless fingers rub over her protruding stomach. "He'd never do that for me, that's for certain but we don't really know each other. Never have. Don't really want to." 
                          
Sighing, you whisper. "But I don't understand?" 
                          
"You protect the people you love Y/N, what part of that do you not understand," She snaps, frowning at you. "He loves you, always has, always will. My boyfriend would protect me, would protect his family. Taehyung did what was right, get over it."
                          
"But he left-
                          
"-oh shut up, that happened a million years ago," she shouts. "Men are disappointing, why have you only just learnt this. People we love hurt us the most because they have the power to but Taehyung just saved your life. Be kinder on him, he hasn't been the happiest person since ...well you know...since." 
                          
You sigh as you lean back into your seat. "I know." 
                          
Taking a deep breath, you hold his hand as you feel all of your inner battles come to the forefront of your mind. 
                          
Why is this so hard? 
                          
Why is letting go of the past so goddamn difficult? 
                          
Why? 
                          
WHY DO YOU FEEL SO FUCKING ANGRY. "Is it possible to stop being so filled with anger?" 
                          
She laughs. "Honey, others call that sexual frustration. Maybe you just need to fuck it out." 
                          
You gasp at her as she chuckles to herself. "Jesus christ, I just remembered who I'm speaking to."
                          
"Only now? Yikes, okay. If he wakes up, just alert one of the nurses ...yeah ...you know the drill. I'll stop being a bitch to you if you stop being stupid," You watch her as she stands, she pushes back the tethers of hair falling in front of her face, behind her ear. "I need to pee. Sound like a deal?" 
                          
You nod, and it's not like you had a choice when she walks away from you before you get to say your piece, her mind already made up. Of all people to have a conversation about him with, you did not expect it to be her. 
                          
Afterall, he left you for her. 
                          
But of all people, you knew it would've made you feel the most the quickest. "Taehyung, weirdly, I think I'm starting to like your wife ...ex wife..."
                          
Taehyung wakes up not that much later to the sound of soft snores beside him. He blinks, vision clearing as he stares at the white ceiling above him. 
                          
The clicking sounds of an IV machine pushing fluids are on the other side of him, a line connects the machine to his left hand. He can hear the traffic of feet outside the cubicle, voices he doesn't recognise but a tone he feels all too familiar with. 
                          
Panic. 
                          
He was still in Seoul Hearts Hospital.
                          
"Am I in the recovery room?" he asks, voice course from lack of water.
                          
A cardiac monitor beeps beside him as the blood pressure cuff inflates around his upper arm, taking and recording his blood pressure. A stool and a desk beside him is empty, a recovery nurse not in site. He groans, having never liked the feeling of a cuff on his arm as it completely deflates. 
                          
He raises his hand to his face, incapable of raising his other hand. "No oxygen? Is my arm broken? Why does it feel so heavy?"
                          
"No broken feet?" Wiggling his toes, he blinks. "I'm okay?" 
                          
Wiping your mouth in your sleep, you turn your head, snoring in his direction. 
                          
The sound catches him off guard and he freezes. "Y/N?"
                          
Sleeping on your arm and holding his hand with the other, he watches you in shock as you hold onto him for dear life. Looking down at himself, he notices the new hospital gown and the faint tendrils of pain across his chest. 
                          
Using his free hand, he pulls the gown off his chest to look down at the dressing on his  expanse of his chest. "What the..."
                          
He frowns as he rests back against the bed. 
                          
"Oh," he whispers, remembering faintly what had happened, still suppressed by the medication. The man, the scalpel, you. It had been a thoughtless decision to jump in front of you, he just knew that he had to. 
                          
He wanted to. 
                          
The IV machine beeps as he bends his arm. He immediately straightens it, fearful of waking you up. 
                          
Lord knows how long you've gone without sleeping.
                          
He feels sluggish. His eyes want to close but he wants to be awake. He wants to wake you up but he wants to sleep. It's weird. He can't explain himself. He can't even think straight.
                          
As much as he can handle, he rolls slightly on his side to look at you. It hurts but it's worth it. "Wow, just few hours ago you could barely handle being around me."
                          
He rubs his thumb over your knuckles, smiling softly to himself. "But I wouldn't have it any other way so long as you're okay." Carting his other hand through your hair, he stops to try and take the blanket off him for you but the movement hurts so he only gets as far as putting it on your one shoulder. 
                          
He wishes he could do more for you.
                          
He wants to prove himself. 
                          
He wishes he had time. 
                          
Taehyung lays back down, feeling exhaustion pull his eyelids closed. 
                          
He needs to sleep. 
                          
He needs to recover. 
                          
He doesn't want to if you're going to stay beside him all night but he knows he has no choice, so he gives in to the pulling feeling at his soul until all he sees is black.  
                          
And you both sleep for a couple more hours.