5.3

                                    

                                          
if i had anywhere to go, i would pack my bags right now and leave. instead i am stuck with the boys until i can afford to live alone. i wish i could go back home with my family, but charlotte is still too small. 
                          
if i just never came to miami, the fans wouldn't have known about me. i wouldn't have fallen in love with joel. i wouldn't have to wake up at ungodly hours to get ready to go to court to find out what i already know; that charlotte is zayn's daughter. 
                          
i didn't even want to wear any makeup, but the designer bags under my eyes forced me to at least wear some concealer and set it with powder. i might cry it off later anyways, but i needed to look decent both for the cameras and to prove zayn that he wouldn't tear me down no matter how hard he tried.
                          
i kissed charlotte's forehead as she made herself comfortable in perla's arms. she giggled softly and then closed her eyes. 
                          
"goodbye, baby." joel whispered to her. "we'll be back very soon." he booped her nose, which made her giggle even more. i smiled.
                          
charlotte would stay home with perla and erick, while the rest of the guys would come with me to court. i wished perla and erick would come too, but they insisted they would babysit charlotte. 
                          
the car ride was almost too short, i barely had any time to compose myself before the guys' bodyguards were simultaneously shoving the cameramen away from us and me towards the entrance. i held onto joel's hand and didn't let go for a single moment until it was time to go with my lawyer. he was one of the best in miami, apparently, but of course zayn could get the best lawyer in the entire damn world.
                          
i couldn't help it, the tears flooded my eyes and poured out like waterfalls. i looked down, trying to hide my face from everyone. the judge came out and we stood up in respect. i never understood why we had to do this, it's not like god himself was walking in. everyone sat back down and the judge presented the case before zayn's lawyer began to speak. 
                          
i caught him looking at me, and he kept the eye contact rather than break it. i don't know how long it stayed like that, but it was long enough for me to catch a glimpse of sadness in his eyes. i furrowed my eyebrows before he abruptly turned his head, leaving me wondering what the hell had just happened.