Chapter 6 - Tears, sniffles, and Beer Pong

                                    

                                          
Chapter 6 - Tears, sniffles, and Beer Pong
                          

                          

                          
“You’re childish,” I said crossing my arms after clicking in my seatbelt. “Oh yeah, well look at you acting like a cross child name calling me names because you don’t get your way.” He said reaching over and flicking my nose. I swatted his hand away and it only caused his grin to widen into a full out smile. “Shut up and drive butthead.” Okay maybe not my best line but it earned me a laugh from my best friend and he did just as I said. It didn’t last long because I started messing with his radio and if you know Brett then you wouldn’t dare mess with his trucks “lady parts”. I did it just to annoy him. Hey, I blame it on his childish behavior rubbing off on me. We bickered then compromised on using the aux cord and taking turns picking a song.
                          
After a ten minute drive he pulled up to our old high school football field. I smiled because this was our talking place. We would end up walking around the track or lying in the grass on the field looking up at the stars just talking. We got out and headed to the entrance. He intertwined our fingers and I swung them back and forth smiling up at him. “So, I hear you had a bad dream?” damn you Alyssa, I thought. So Alyssa and Brett weren’t close but in a way they were when it came to me. They knew I wasn’t close to many people and I wasn’t one to express my feelings openly. Maybe with a crowbar and much force but that’s about it. They were the only two I had here. My other two best friends had moved away. One was at university and the other married. Shaking my head I said, “You both are worry warts and gossip about me like school girls. It was a stupid dream anyways.”
                          
I avoided his eyes looking forward. I know they meant well but I still felt betrayed. He suddenly stopped before walking out onto the track which caused a chain reaction causing me to be jerked to a stop as well. He waited for me to look at him and when I didn’t he put his hand firmly on my chin pulling my head up. I tried to look away but this boy was a master at the quiet game when he was serious. After a few minutes of silence, I finally looked at him, looking over his worried face before staring him in the eyes. “You know I love you and I’m here for you. When you’re ready you can talk to me I’m here or I have my devilish ways to get it out if you’re too stubborn. Either way you know I will get it out of you.” He said starting out sincere and ending with his sinfully devilish grin. I too wished many times I could end up with Brett but I only felt friendly feelings towards him. My bottom lip quivered and all I could do was nod.
                          
He dropped his hand from my face and wrapped me in a tight embrace lifting me off my feet. The laugh that came out was breathless, literally. “You’re crushing my ribs,” I barely breathed out. His laugh was deep and musical. He grabbed my hand once again and headed to the center of the field. I guess it was star gazing tonight. I loved the stars with all of my heart. To me, they were the only things that were consistent. They would always be there at night even if I couldn’t see them through the clouds. Consistency was something I always strived to have and when it couldn’t be given then I didn’t hope for it.
                          
No use getting your hopes up only to have them crushed, right? Lately, I could feel myself hoping for things that weren’t a certainty, against my better judgment. That left room for disappointment and hurt. It scared me. Finally reaching our destination, Brett laid out a blanket I hadn’t noticed him carrying. He pulled me down so we lying side by side. He had one arm wrapped around me and I snuggled close to him. No use wasting time, I might as well get the hard part over with. I began telling Brett my dream and how I felt about it. I even told him about my crying session in the shower. I told him about my blind date. I told him everything.
                          
After I was finished talking, I waited for his response. It was silent besides the crickets singing their melody to anyone who would listen and the sounds of insect wings beating against the earth’s gravitational pull in close proximity. It wasn’t uncomfortable and I knew he was just processing everything I had just told him so I just indulged in the moment with my best friend with the stars twinkling above me. Lost in my own thoughts, I nearly forgot our earlier conversation. That’s why I’m so glad I have Brett because being with him was always comforting and I felt safe. Suddenly his deep voice sliced through the comfortable silence, “You don’t deserve to feel that way. I wish there was some way to make you realize that you deserve love and damn it! You deserve to believe in everything you know who stole from you.”