19

                                    

                                          
The next few hours are pretty silent and uneventful. Both boys go about their daily routines as normal. Meaning that Josh completes some of his work while Tyler hangs out in his room. Normally, other patients would attend session groups, therapy groups, or hang out in the commons, but those wouldn’t work for Tyler. His care group decided, unanimously, that group activities and their associated environments would only make Tyler’s situation worse, making a rare exception with activities that the majority of inpatients are required to go to.
                          
Once Josh completed all of his necessary work, he began to wrap up for the day and slightly tidied up his work area before heading out. As he was walking out of the door, he remembers that he has to bring Tyler his dinner, so he walks over to the nurse station.
                          
The meal was simple, yet again. On the try lies pasta with meat sauce and carrots with apple slices on the side.
                          
With his signature knock, Josh enters Tyler’s room. He drops the tray of food on the table and takes a seat on his chair.
                          
“Hey Ty! How you doing?”
                          
“...thou-ght you le-ft me.” Tyler states with a sad, almost disappointed expression on his face.
                          
“Ty, you know I would never, ever leave you. I was just getting some work done, that’s all.” Josh responds, leaning onto the bed. “Ty, I know that the anxiety makes you always second guess yourself. I know that it makes you constantly worry and over-analyze everything. I know how it feels. I also know how much unnecessary fear it causes and how you want constant reassurance, but are too afraid to ask for it. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that and I will give you that constant reassurance, no questions asked. Every second of everyday if needed. Ty. I’m never leaving you, okay?”
                          
“O-kay…” Tyler replies in such a way where it seems like he’s trying to convince himself to believe.
                          
“Tyler.” Josh firmly says in a quiet voice. This catches Tyler’s attention instantly, making Tyler look up and hold eye contact with Josh. Josh doesn't call Tyler by his name, always a nickname. “I am never leaving you. Ever. I know that your brain is trying to tell you that I’m lying, that it’s too good to be true, but you have to listen to me and not your brain. I am never leaving you. I will say it a million times for you to believe it. I am never leaving you Tyler and you /have/ to know that.”
                          
Tyler’s eyes soften. He pulls Josh into the bed and snuggles up against him.
                          
“Th-ank you J-osh.”
                          
“Anytime Ty, anytime.”
                          
The two of them stayed pressed against each other for a good amount of time before there was a knock on the door. Josh recognizes the knock as Patrick’s and gives him permission to open the door.
                          
Tyler’s eyes widen at the sound of the door opening and his body immediately tenses. Once Tyler verifies the person as Patrick, Tyler was able to relax a bit more.
                          
“Hey guys, how are you doing?” Patrick asks as he walks in and takes a seat on a chair. Josh stays quiet, making Tyler respond for practice.
                          
“Go-od.” Tyler mutters out.
                          
“Good! I know that it’s only been a few hours since our last...conversation...” Patrick says with uncertainty in his voice, likely due to his word choice. “Uhm, yeah, but I need to ask you one more question, I’m sorry.” Patrick states with a sincere remorseful expression.
                          
“Ty, do you think you can handle it?” Josh asks concerned gaining a slight nod from Tyler in response.
                          
“Now, I’m not supposed tell you this, but this question is really, really personal. I’m forced to ask you it, but you’re not obligated to respond if you don't want to. This means that I just need to note that I asked you the question, but I can write that you denied to answer.” Patrick informs Tyler, earning yet another nod. “Okay.” Patrick sighs out with a deep breath. “Tyler, can you please tell me why you attempted suicide in 2013, prior to being admitted?” Patrick blurts out with a sorrowful look.
                          
This question takes Tyler completely off guard. He was expecting a personal question, but not this one. He would answer any question other than this one. Tyler instantly is brought to a flashback of his childhood and this triggers him into a huge panic attack.
                          
This is what Patrick was afraid of. Patrick knew that the question was extremely personal and heavy, but he was forced by his boss to ask it, despite his opinions. Patrick quickly jots down that Tyler denied to answer and began to walk out of the room, sending a regretful glance at Josh before mouthing ‘sorry’ before he was out the door.
                          
Josh would normally comfort Tyler through words at this moment, but he knew better. Josh knew better than to speak when a patient was reminded of a not so great past memory. Josh knew that in these moments, patients just need time to overcome the memory and that companionship was a necessity. Because of that, Josh brings Tyler into a tighter embrace and lays there until Tyler is able to overcome his panic attack.