I've made it worse.

                                    

                                          
It's been over a 2 months since prom. They've been hell. I torture myself over it. To deal with my problems, I've been drinking, skipping school and self harming. But it doesn't matter what I do, the pain will never go away.
Stan and Kenny are extremely worried and everyone is wondering where Cartman is. His mom came up to me asking if I knew where he is. And I said no. I feel so guilty. I've killed someone. I'm a Murderer. I'm something I've never wanted to be. But it was my choice. I've been in my room for over 2 weeks now, only coming out for food/water and bathroom breaks. School are really pissed with me buts that's the least of my worries. 
                          
Craig's POV
"Ok CCTT (Clyde,Craig,Token And Tweek) I've found out some more information. It appears that Y/N Marsh has killed Eric Cartman." 
The room went silent. 
"She couldn't take it anymore. She didn't want anymore hurt, she wasn't thinking." 
                          
"What are we gonna do?" Token asked.
                          
"We're gonna help her. We're gonna make her confess then we're gonna help her through the court." 
                          
"B-But what if she g-goes d-down!?! ACK!!!" I could tell Tweek was against the idea.
                          
"Oh come on! We left Coon and Friends because of what Cartman did to our friend!!! If she does go down, we're gonna help her fight through and get her out!!! So are you in or out!!!????!!!!!" 
Everyone sighed. 
"In."
"In." 
"Clyde?" Clyde looked up. 
"In. She's one of my best friends and my girlfriends best friend."
                          
Y/N's POV
Unwanted. 
Bad luck child. 
Selfish.
Killer. 
You should've died instead. 

                          
    These are the words that rush through my mind. Are they true? Who knows? My mind is all over the place.
                          
Everyone's gonna hate me. 
                          
Why should I bother? I grab my razor and head into the bathroom. 
                          
Cut? Go on do it, you deserve everything you get. Kenny won't love you anymore with those cuts on you, so go on. 
                          
I obeyed. They control me. I'm like a remote-control robot. I do everything they tell me. 
                          
I haven't seen Kenny for over a week. He came over last week wondering why I didn't come to school that week. I didn't answer,just changed the subject. 
                          
Stan's POV 
"Something's wrong with Y/N."
                          
Kenny's POV 
"I'm really worried."
                          
Wendy's POV 
"She's not been herself since prom."
                          
Bebe's POV 
"She's not been at school, but when I walk past her house, I see her through the window staring."
                          
Heidi's POV
"She's been posting creepy messages to unknown people on her Snapchat Story."
                          
Kyle's POV
 "We need to talk to her." 
                          
3rd Person's POV 
"We need the old Y/N back."
                          
Craig's POV 
Our plan is coming together. 
                          
Y/N's POV 
                          
What should I do? Hand myself in and face the truth or stay quiet and feel this guilt for the rest of my life, hurting people. I just don't know.