Chapter Three || Secrets

                                    

                                          
Over the course of two days, I had developed a high fever. 
                          
My parents had never been fans of doctors, but even they decided it was important for me to see one. I wasn't diagnosed with anything, except stress and I remember vaguely how my mother argued with the doctor somewhere nearby- everything was blurry to me.
                          
- But she threw up, Doctor! Surely it's got to be some kind of infection...
                          
- She's perfectly healthy, ma'am. Yet her body seems to be fighting against something. I strongly suggest a psychiatrical examination. It might be psychosomatics.
                          
- My daughter is NOT crazy! - and with that the door was shut.
                          
- Mom...I need...
                          
I don't remember what it was I needed, because I passed out and woke up when I saw my mother sitting next to me, the room hot and my father standing concerned over me.
                          
- Darling, how're you feeling?
                          
- Not... not good, - I whispered, sitting up with difficulty as mother made me drink water through a straw. - For how... how long did I...
                          
- Barely a minute, dear - mom replied, stroking my forehead. - But it's the very first time you fainted, so I'm worried...
                          
- It's that new school she's so worried about... I knew getting straight O's would lead to something like this... - dad muttered, and I felt so sorry for him, he looked like he was about to cry.
                          
- Oh, shut up, - my mom snapped at him. - Go and get her some more tea. She's freezing cold.
                          
As the door closed behind my father, I tried sitting up again.
                          
- No, no dear. You stay exactly as you are. Are you sure you haven't had any serious worries lately? Exams or I don't know, Ruby or...
                          
- For heaven's sake, mom, he is not my boyfriend, - I said, a little too loud.
                          
- Okay. Okay. You two are just friends.
                          
- Yes. We're just friends, - I said, pulling the bedsheets closer to me as I still shivered.
                          
- Okay. Maybe not Ruby then.
                          
The tone in which she said it made me turn around and face her, even though I was shivering from the cold.
                          
- What do you mean?
                          
My mom shook her head. It was almost as if it hurt her to speak.
                          
- When the whole... situation at your school happened, you didn't tell me a thing. It was only the headmaster who told me you had been forced to enter-
                          
- I wasn't forced to do anything, - I retorted, the colour rising in my cheeks although they were red already.
                          
My mom pursed her lips. Apparently, all those years later, she didn't believe me.
                          
- Darling, when we know people very little...
                          
- Oh stop. It's all over and done for.
                          
- But what if something has happened and you're not telling me about it either? 
                          
I looked at her, a long look. If I told her, maybe a huge load would come off my shoulders. But I couldn't. What if her concern for me made her write to Hogwarts and that would send Lupin packing? Even if I didn't tell her he was a werewolf, she would start worrying he had done something to made me fall in love with him, she might even demand I be transferrred to another tutor.
                          
I would sooner die.
                          
It was, however, very hard to keep the secret within me. 
                          
Especially that night, when I woke up, suffocating. A doctor was called and my parents were ushered out of the room in spite of their cries of how they wanted to stay. I stared into the doctor's eyes as he said, loud and clear as if I had trouble hearing, not breathing: