chapter twenty five

                                    

                                          
Lexi's POV;

 A tear strayed down my face as I heard the door shut. I didn't mean to be rude to him, I was just scared. He said he wouldn't let me get hurt but he did, it was my fault. If I had just left sooner I wouldn't be in this situation. I could be safe with Ryan.

 My wolf whimpered at me,

'Please get him back. He didn't mean for you to get hurt' she pleaded but I ignored her. 

 I couldn't trust any guy now, they all lied to me. I knew Ryan wouldn't hurt me but I didn't want to be near any of them. Just the thought of being in contact terrified me, I didn't want to go to school anymore. Maybe I could just stay home with Ryan's mum and cook stuff and knit. She taught me how to knit a small pair of socks. 

 Wiping the tears from my face I sat up from the bed and walked over to the bathroom. Turning the tap on I quickly splashed water across my face, towel drying it before walking back to the closet. 
 
 I pulled out some more clothes and the gifts from Ryan I placed them in the suitcase under the bed. Soon I could leave and then Ryan would be safe and I would be away from the bad people. Shutting the suitcase and slipping it back under the bed I then crawled into bed. 

 As I stared up at the ceiling I remained quiet as my wolf whimpered quietly. Suddenly a howl broke the silence, tears streamed down my face as I realised it was Ryan's. It was as if was crying, the howl was filled with so much pain.

 Turning to my side I buried my face in the pillow as I sobbed, eventually crying myself to sleep.

 ****

 "Lexi time to wake up" 

 Glancing up I stared at Holly before pulling the covers back over my head, trying to hide myself from the world.

 "Lexi? You have to get up, it's time for school" Holly said before the light thud of her footsteps told me she was in the room now. 

 "I'm not going" my voice was muffled by the blanket.

 "He won't be there" I heard her say quietly but flinched. 

 What if she was wrong? She didn't know if he would be there or not, no one did.

 "I'm not going, you should go you're going to be late"

 "Lexi... Please?"

 "I said no! Just leave me alone" I cried tears in my eyes, jumping out of the bed I ran over to the bathroom before locking myself in.

 Dropping to the floor I lent my back gently against the door as I cried. I was scared, so scared. I didn't know what to do, I wanted to run into Ryan's arms and never let go but then I was scared he would let me get hurt...again. I knew it wasn't his fault but I was so scared.

 James was so mean and hurt me. What if all men were like him and dad? What was I supposed to do then? Banging my head back against the door I cried, my sobs were the only sound in the room.

 A dull ache was in the back of my head and my eyes were feeling heavy. Sliding further down I rested my head against the cold floor and curled into a ball before falling asleep.

 ***

 "Lexi?" 

 I mumbled in my sleep before turning in my side, why was Ryan in my dream? He wasn't before.

 "Lexi open the door" 

 Moaning once more in my sleep I went to pull the pillow over my head and frowned as there was no pillow. Peeking through one eye I stared around the bathroom, suddenly remembering this morning. I growled lowly as someone began to pound on the door. 

 Wiping my eyes and straightening my crumpled pyjamas I sat up and stumbled to the door, unlocking it and throwing it open. 

 My heart rate picked up as I saw Ryan before quickly slamming the door, screaming a little as Ryan put his hand out stopping it from closing.

 "G-go a-away" I stuttered trying to remove his hand from the door, the tingly feeling spreading through my body. 

 "Lexi please. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you baby. Please come out"

 A tear slipped from my eyes and I swiftly wiped it away with one hand. I didn't know what to do, did I talk to him? Or try to hide from him? But I knew that would be impossible, eventually I would see him; he lived here. 

'Please Lexi, just listen to our mate!' I flinched as my wolf growled the last part.

 'Just go away! You don't know anything, I didn't want you so just go.' I yelled at my wolf.

 I was sick of her, she didn't know what it was like. The feeling of being scared for so many years wouldn't just disappear. 

 'You're weak! Can't you see our mate loves us? And now you're being selfish and putting him through pain! Just go out to see him'

 'Go away'

 I let out a little yelp as I felt something else taking over. I tried to keep my grip on the door but something was loosening my grip.

 'Whats happening?' I asked my wolf as I felt my heart rate pick up. 

 "Lexi what's wrong?" 

 Suddenly the door burst open and I stumbled back. Ryan stood still just staring at me. I whimpered as my wolf took over me, why was she doing this? I felt as though I was trapped in a cage, just watching as my body moved towards Ryan.

 'Stop it! I'm not ready. Please stop!' I screamed as tears slipped down my face but my pleas went unanswered.

 "Mine" my voice sounded strange and dark. 

 I watched as Ryan's eyes switched from black and blue, his wolf was trying to take control.

 'Stop' I pleaded.

 'Hush, I'm helping us. You're too weak, just let me take control' my wolf replied in that same dark voice.

 How could she think she was helping us? I thought she was supposed to be a part of me, not insult me. I watched helplessly as she sauntered over to Ryan and placed my arms around his neck. Inside I was a mixture of fear, panic, love and anger. The familiar tingly sensation was coursing through my body but all I could concentrate on was trying to take control. 

 "Lexi" Ryan said breathlessly as he tried to pull my arms off his neck but my wolf wasn't having it. I watched in horror as she cut him off, placing MY lips on his. 

 'Stop it!' I screamed inside but she continued to ignore me. 

 I flinched as Ryan placed his hands on my waist pulling my body closer to his, his eyes were shut as our lips moved together. This wasn't how I wanted it to be. I was scared and angry at my wolf. 

 Suddenly she was pushing him back out of the bathroom, not stopping until Ryan hit the bed. I watched as we sat on him, Ryan's eyes were now black; his wolf had taken over, just like mine. 

 Suddenly our lips were back on each other, my hands slipping under his shirt. I don't know what was happening but I didn't like it. It scared me. His hands slid down my waist until gently grabbing my hips, stroking small circles. That bit did feel nice, it was relaxing. 

 'You can stop now! I won't be weak' I called out weakly as we began to kiss even rougher.

 She just growled and continued to kiss him. I didn't know what to do, every time I tried to take control of my body it was as if a wall was blocking me. 

 I screamed as Ryan bit me, but not like the times before. He didn't bite me on the lip he bit somewhere near my shoulder. I could feel the blood dripping from the cut, tears rolled down my cheeks. Another gasp left my lips as I began to feel... A sort of pleasure. My body felt warm and nice, I moaned as he licked the blood away, gently sucking on it.

 I felt my wolf slowly putting down the wall thing, quickly taking control once more of my body I pushed Ryan away before running to the corner. Dropping on my knees I curled into a ball as I cried. It felt so good but... Why? 

 Why did he bite me? I felt as though I was being pulled, staring up from the carpet my eyes latched onto Ryan. His eyes were now back to blue and he looked sad.

 "Lexi..I-"

 "No" my voice barely a whisper as I stared at him.

 "Please Lex-"

 "no. No! No! No!" I screamed throwing my hands over my ears.

 No. This was a bad dream, I would wake up any minute now. It would be just a bad dream like all the ones with dad. Closing my eyes I rocked back and forth on the carpet, waiting. I ignored the weird pulling feeling and just stayed on the floor ignoring Ryan.

 Peeling through my eyes I felt them water as I saw Ryan standing closet with the same face expression.

 "What did you do?" I whispered quietly as I sat up, pushing my back against the wall hugging my knees.

 I stared at him as he opened and closed his eyes several times before running a hand through his hair. Even though he looked very handsome with his messy hair and nice clothes I was scared of him. I had no idea what just happened and was terrified. 

 "Ryan? What did you do?" my voice was slightly Bolder than before as I waited for him to answer me.

 "I-I...marked you" 

 Springing up from the floor I ignored his cries as I ran out of the room. Heading straight for the front door and into the forest. I felt a horrible pain in my chest as I ran further away from the house, it was as if someone was trying to pull me back.

 Collapsing on the floor near some trees, I lied still as tears dropped from my eyes. Closing my eyes I cried silently for the fact that Ryan had marked me without my permission and for the horrible pain in my chest. 

 What was I supposed to do now? Could I go back to the house? What exactly did it mean now he had marked me? Wiping my tears from my face I curled into a ball, trying to let sleep take me.
                          
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Updated; 1st July 2012... sorry don't hate me for this :P anyways enjoy.. I'm currently writing the next chapter and might have it done by thursday or friday  :D