Chapter 40

                                    

                                          
Faith POV: 
Tim clings tightly to me, helping me take my walk for the day. I'm supposed to go until I'm tired, but Tim normally cuts them short, because he thinks I'm pushing myself too hard. Tim's only left my side once, and that was to go grab more clothes so he didn't have to run home often. He's been attached to my hip ever since I woke up, and refuses to leave even to sleep. He sets up in the small recliner in the room every night, scooting it closer to my bed so he's within an arm's reach. I must've really scared him... 
I don't remember much. My last memory from before the coma was looking at myself in the mirror, and remembering how skinny I looked. Now, I'm only skinner, but it's almost like I've forgotten what I looked like before. It's not as shocking to look in the mirror. I remember hearing Tim's voice, telling me to hold on, but I don't remember an image to correspond with his voice. I don't know... this all just seems surreal to me. 
I loop my arm around him, walking slowly as I try to regain my balance. They told me that since I was out so long, a lot of my muscles are weak, so I'll have to work myself back to where I was before. Tim seems to be incredibly patient, walking slowly beside me. I'm sure I could probably crawl faster at this point, but I know it'll take practice. 
"You gettin' tired yet?" He asks, before I shake my head. I'm honestly just happy to get out of the room for a while. Yeah, my legs are starting to tire out, but I'll do anything to get to the patio at the end of the hall where we can see the skyline. I feel myself almost get giddy with how close we are. "You're trying to go outside, aren't you?" He realizes, smiling down at me. I nod, feeling a smile crack across my face as well. "If you want to go outside so bad, I can just grab a wheelchair and--" He starts, as I start to laugh. 
"Tim, I'm fine." I reassure him, seeing him nod. We finally reach the door, walking out into the cool spring air. It's warm for this early in the spring, the flowers trying to force their way through in the flower boxes, despite the fact that we are probably going to get one more snowfall before the spring makes its long-term appearance. I take a deep breath, the fresh air feeling like liberation. The air inside the hospital smells like rubber gloves and saline. This is a definite upgrade. I turn around, realizing Tim has left my side. He reappears with a patio chair, sliding it behind me. I spare him a smile, before he helps me slowly lower myself down into it. He leaves again, returning with another for himself. He grabs onto my hand, kissing it, before looking out at the view. "Tim?" I call, seeing his head turn toward me. 
"What?" He replies, seeming to be content. 
"What's the plan? You know... for after I get out." I let out, seeing him shrug, before laughing a bit to himself. 
"Last time we made a plan, twenty minutes later you were damn near dead, so I'm rationally cautious." He says, making me bite my lip while nodding. He's definitely more protective than before. I've yet to see a frown on his face, since waking up.  
"Are you going to stay?" I ask, feeling like his answer could honestly break my heart. I don't know when he re-gained that power, but it's stronger than ever now. Maybe it's just the fact that he has relentlessly been by my side, and he won't quit trying to make me smile, both things I used to go crazy for in him. He looks my way, squeezing my hand, before I see the slightest wince... It's so slight, I doubt anyone else would've even seen it. The timing rules it out as a simple spasm. He cringed... He cringed when I asked if he was going to stay, like he doesn't want to answer the question... He doesn't want to tear me apart by telling me no. 
"Of course." He answers, sparing me a smile. I stare at him, before looking out at the skyline. I sit for a moment in my thoughts, while he sits with no idea of the mental battle going on within me.