Chapter 45: Cold Panic

                                    

                                          
Chapter 45: Cold Panic

                          
"You know where he's going, right?" Grey's voice, unfortunately, stops me before I'm able to make it out the front door.
                          
I halt in my steps and awkwardly nod, refusing to turn around and face him. This is as uncomfortable as it is painful and completely unexpected.
                          
I hear him sigh deeply from behind me before he's speaking again. "What he just said, it doesn't matter. Okay? I need you to get that. I need you to go after him, no matter what."
                          
I can't help it. I slowly spin around to face him as I rack my brain for answers. "Why?" I whisper, confused. "Why would you say that?"
                          
If Jay's right, why would he say that?
                          
His gray eyes keep me frozen in place as he continues to keep up his stoic front. The crack in his surface that was there a second  ago has been buried under layers of a hardened heart. "Because...." he concludes on a note of finality.
                          
"Grey," I drawl in hesitance, afraid to look at him, "please."
                          
"Because," he falters, clearly feeling vulnerable at having to reveal his emotions, "I'm scared he's finally reached his breaking point. Because I've never seen him lose his composure like that before. Because I've never seen his emotions tip. Because since meeting him, he's always been there for me. Because, as unbelievable as it may seem to you and everyone else, friendship and loyalty are significant to me. Because the love I have for my friend, my brother, overpowers all other issues I'm facing in life."
                          
I frown, taken aback by his words. Where's my robot gone and why does Jay top both our lists of priorities?
                          
"He's the only family I got left and I don't say that lightly," he adds upon seeing my widened eyes. "He's being an idiot right now, but...just like you, I sorta love that idiot. That idiot is my brother and that idiot deserves everything good in life." He pauses for a moment before meeting my gaze in earnest. "He deserves you."
                          
I swallow, trying to come up for air. "Grey..." My voice breaks.
                          
He shakes his head defiantly. "Jay's been blindsided by his past for a long time. You'll be the one to make him see again."
                          
"I've tried," I exclaim in exasperation, feeling helpless. "He hates himself."
                          
I don't know what to do anymore.
                          
"Then you'd better hurry, considering you know where he's headed."
                          
*~*~*~**~*~*~*
                          
A cold panic overtakes me, one that I can't escape. My heart stops and all the air leaves my lungs as Grey's parting words come to mind. I shout in fright when I see Jay standing on the edge of his cliff, staring down at the waters below him in contemplation. "Stop! Don't do it! Don't jump!"
                          
Jay immediately spins around to face me, a ghost of a smile flickering over his lips. "I wasn't planning on taking the jump without you," he jokes, referring to our past adventures of five years ago, reminding me that the drop isn't fatal. Still, there's a sadness etched into him that won't seem to fade, not even with time. It's a sadness that not even I can heal. It's a sadness that he can't afford to hide anymore.
                          
I shake my head, falling silent under his feigned smile. There are no words coming to mind. I have nothing left to say.
                          
"So, that's it then?" I, with much difficulty, eventually voice my thoughts after having first calmed down.
                          
"You heard?" he states more than asks, already knowing the answer.
                          
I nod. "You're giving up on me for the second time?" I, too, already know the answer. "I'm not a freaken parcel to be passed around whenever you grow tired of me."