Chapter 36: Unsuspecting and Unaware

                                    

                                          

So living right now is the biggest chore 
I can't do this anymore
Literally I hate everything life is the biggest nightmare and I'm scared


                          
Chapter 36: Unsuspecting and Unaware
                          
He didn't even answer me.
                          
He did that thing where he pretends he didn't hear you and slouched onto the bathroom floor, pressing his face and side into the tile.
                          
I heard him swallow, rubbing the linoleum with his trembling fingers until I snatched them up and held them in my hand.
                          
I took my other palm and rubbed his arm up and down, hopefully scaring away any tears that could come of this but he showed no sign of crying. On one hand, it relieved me. On the other, and mainly on the other, it quit frankly scared me. 
                          
Scared me into thinking he was numb right now and refused to feel. 
                          
"Robbie," I said.
                          
"No," he whimpered.
                          
I bit my lip and dropped his hand, letting him bring it back at a bend in
the elbow and lay it on his side. 
                          
"I wish you'd tell me." I said.
                          
He shrugged, "I know."
                          
I sighed, falling onto the floor next to him and pushed my chest up against
his, our noses against one another's.
                          
"Robbie?" I whispered against his mouth.
                          
"Hm?" he moaned.
                          
"I love you."
                          
Robbie gave a tight smile and pecked my lips slowly. 
                          
I frowned. "Aren't you going to say it back?"
                          
In one sudden movement, he clasped a hand around the back of my neck and
pressed our mouths together, slowly, then opening his lips a little to lick
mine gently until he could slide his tongue through.
                          
I let him bring his other hand to my face, brushing my bangs off my
forehead, before he slipped it to my shorts again, bending two fingers into
the waistband.
                          
I hastily slapped his hands off and broke our lips off, leaving him to
quickly pull his fingers back and look up at me wildly.
                          
"Again?" he asked, jerking an eyebrow in disbelief.
                          
"Sorry," I mumbled.
                          
"No," he sighed, shaking his head and kissing my jaw, "it's fine."
                          
The motion sensor lights in the bathroom flickered off, leaving a gray veil behind and silvery glares on the porcelain of the bath behind Robbie. 
                          
He breathed onto my neck and wrapped his hands around my back, rubbing his nose into the flesh of my shoulder. He slipped his legs between mine, hooking them behind his knees so we were practically tangled side by side.
                          
At this point, I felt anxious, with the way his hands wiggled beneath my
sweater, with his legs so tight against me it was like our hips were
grinding together, with his face just running the length of my chest. Like
cigarettes were set ablaze and dropped into my lungs, they seared through my
veins until my fingers and toes were numb. And that fire was Tristan's
hands, tugging at my back of my shirt, and that inferno was his lips,
applying angry suction on my skin, and that blaze matched Robbie all too
well...
                          
In a fright, I pushed Robbie away. His eyes dilated in confusion when his
back hit the tub, but I didn't let him speak. Instead, I threw myself from
the floor and tore out of the bathroom, ignoring the thuds from him doing
the same.