Chapter 5. Forced to confess

                                    

                                          
Kit's point of view 
                          
After that night at the bar, things were not easy to handle. Pha took me too seriously and he's been giving me the advice to win Beauty's heart. He says that she already likes me, but with his tips, I can make her mine in just one night. As it was not enough, Beam started mocking me because of this entire situation telling that I will be soon a playboy like him and all the girls will fall for me, as if it was possible. I wish my confidence was high enough to believe all that, but it's not and I also wish I didn't lie about Beauty. Tonight I have to meet her and we're supposed to go to the cinema like we always do when we know there's a movie we like. Pha and Beam are in my room trying to pick the perfect outfit for a night like this. In the middle of a conversation between the two about which socks I should wear, I come up with a question. 
                          
K: What if I don't like her? 
                          
The two of them turn towards me and look at me with a puzzled face. I was too sudden, so I decided to make the question clear. 
                          
K: I mean, what if while staying with her I realize that I don't like her as I thought? What if I can't see her as something more than a friend? 
                          
P: Well, you can always break up with her. 
                          
B: Yeah, what's the big deal? 
                          
K: Guys, I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to get her expectations high to just make everything crumble. I know her since we went to middle school. 
                          
P: Wait. Kit, are you sure about what you told me last time? 
                          
K: Yeah. 
                          
P: Then there's no problem, right? 
                          
K: Right. 
                          
I lie, that's nothing I can do about it. I'm into it, too much I would say. I'm in a spiral of lies and that's all because of Ming. He wasn't like this at the high school. He was already a playboy, of course, but he was only interested in women, he never joked like that with boys neither with Wayo who is his best friend. However, now he always flirts with me, making me uncomfortable with my friends and people around me. Because of his attitude, people actually thought I would like him too but I was just too shy to admit it. What's with them? Actually, I have nothing against people of the same gender being in a relationship, love is love and who am I to judge? But I don't like men and, moreover, I don't like Ming. 
                          
The night comes and I go out of my room to go and pick up Beauty at her dorm. I have to stay calm and don't make things awkward and uneasy between us. She was already waiting for me in front of the door of her dorm, she gets in the car and we go to the cinema. Somehow, she notices that I'm a little bit nervous but she doesn't say anything and tries to keep the good mood. That's what I've always liked about her, even if she notices that something's wrong with me, she doesn't talk about it until I bring up the topic. With her, I can forget about my problems for a while and be happy. When the movie ends, we go grab something to eat and then I take her home. I park the car and we stay still for a while. There's tension in the air and I can feel that. Now she's nervous too. Nobody says a word until Beauty speaks. 
                          
Beauty: Well, this morning I saw Beam in my department. 
                          
K: What was he doing there? 
                          
By: He was flirting with one of the students. 
                          
K: As always. 
                          
By: Yeah. 
                          
We giggle thinking about the scene and, for a while, everything seems fine. 
                          
By: But that's not the point. 
                          
K: Uh? 
                          
By: He saw me and came to me saying that he knew that tonight we would've hung out. He said to expect something big because you had something important to tell me that would take our relationship a step forward.
                          
Ai Beam. When I come back to the door I will make sure to kill him. If I tonight I could've avoided telling her, now I don't have any choice. She had her expectations up and I could see it in her eyes. It would be too cruel telling her that Beam was just mocking me? Yes, it would. I can't escape. 
                          
K: Actually, he's right. I was just trying to find the right time to tell you this. Would you like to be my girlfriend? 
                          
By: Oh my God. Are you serious? 
                          
K: Yes. 
                          
By: Oh my. I don't think it's real. I've dreamed too much about it that it doesn't feel real. Oh my God, yes. I want to be your girlfriend. 
                          
She says that and hugs me. After that, she gives me a kiss on the cheek and wishes me a good night. I smile at her and when she disappears behind the door, I let my head fall on the wheel. I feel bad. I'm a complete shithead. I know that I will make her suffer, but I'm a coward. I can't say loud what I really think and because of that now I'm in a situation where there will be two people suffering, Beauty and me.
                          


                          


                          
What he didn't know is that another person will be suffering a lot and that's no other than Ming.