Chapter 53: Malook

                                    

                                          
 We both walked into my now hollow home. I would have preferred informing Connie of what had transpired during the trip since I could have focused enough of my attention on driving that I didn't have to look at her as I knew she would be hurt...something I didn't feel I could handle more of right then. 
 	Unfortunately, I also didn't feel like fighting with Alg or being in his presence any longer, and I couldn't trust Kotur. My strife had grown into hatred and anger. Even as I ordered the door closed behind us, moving to take a seat on the couch as I ignored her cautiously saying my name, I fought the urge to snap. 
 	"Malook? What's happened? Is John- is he-"
 	"He's fine," the answer came out cold, the best I could muster despite knowing she was undeserving of my frustration. Just hearing her voice and dreading the coming conversation was annoying me, "He's alive anyway," I clarified.
 	"What-" she began pushing again, but I threw a hand up, ordering her to silence.
 	I sat with my head hung and retrieved my hand from the air to rub my chin before letting it drop hard onto my knee. I had been confused at first, not understanding why Sulru was with this character she hated, someone who wasn't part of our faction. 
 	He couldn't have been because she, and therefore I, would have known. And he wouldn't have made it through Otahn's discerning discretion...not with how the vampire had conducted himself during the events from days prior.
 	Initially, I felt betrayed, being left behind by none other than the one person I deemed worthy of my implicit trust while the Earth man, basically a stranger, was saved. But I had learned over the years to control my temper and I quickly shook that feeling away. I knew there was something more. 
 	Mote's presence told me that the three of them were not working under instruction of Otahn or with the rebellion's aid. Sulru had persevered even without our allies' assistance. That was why she worked with this man she hated. I guess the only incentive he needed was the promise of being able to slaughter humans. It was indeed another testament to my needing to take Sulru's intuition of a person to heart.
 	I finally realized that she had to have received some help from Otahn or she wouldn't have known where I was or that they had caught on to John's alias. Smart woman. She had used their suspicion to point the blame on him and make it seem as if he were the one behind it all, as if John had framed me. 
 	She knew it would give them an answer as to who he was without revealing that he was alien. To the other Generals, it now appeared that John had created a false identity to worm his way into my family and use me as a scapegoat to press his own agenda, one actually similar to that of Alg's: scientific advancement.
 	I couldn't help a grin at the thought of her. Sulru was indeed a rarity...someone to be prized and appreciated. Connie took sight of the curve in my lips to mean I had calmed down. She strolled closer and took a seat on the cushion beside me. Close enough that I could feel her, but not so much that we were touching.
 	"Um," I began with an odd laugh while forcing away the fond thoughts of my partner, "Sulru and John made it out of the prison. They'll be in hiding. I don't know how long...but there will be officers searching for them," I looked up at the woman who was clearly fighting to remain relaxed herself, "I may have to help with these searches myself," I added.
 	"But...but um...you won't...I mean," she was stumbling, her chest having started heaving.
 	It looked like she was about to cry, so I leaned over to wrap my hand around her shoulder. I had been surprised when she had hugged me in the medical wing, but it told me that she needed physical comfort so I had done my best to give it to her. She had always been so kind to me. 
 	However, she jerked away from me and jumped to her feet, emitting small, confused sounds. Her eyes kept darting back and forth. Each time they were on me, I saw a flash of anger in them.  
 	Watching her pace the floor in front of me, her mind trying to understand what I was telling her, I couldn't decide if I should try holding her again or just let her be.
 	"Of course I'm not going to do anything to actually help, but I may have to pretend," my brow furrowed, "Connie, it had to happen this way," I tried to explain better.
 	"No! None of it had to happen at all. It's all so fucking stupid!" the woman screamed at me, throwing her fists up, and then back down as tears started streaming down her cheeks.
 	I didn't know what exactly was bothering her besides the obvious. Her statements insinuated deeper thoughts, deeper guilt, and I saw that simply discussing the situation wasn't going to help her. I stood from the couch and took slow paces forward. When I had gotten close to her, she stepped back.
 	"Don't touch me!" she screamed again, but I ignored it, closing the gap between us and forcing my arms around her.
 	She fought against my embrace, trying her best to get out of my grasp. Her yells became cries as she pounded her fists onto my chest. I only kept holding her, letting my head fall to rest on her shoulder as one hand grabbed the back of her hair and pushed her to lay under my collarbone. Then...she was sobbing, still resisting holding onto me, but not trying to get away.
 	I rubbed my palm against her locks and whispered into her ear, "It's okay. We'll get him back. We'll get both of them back," I told her as her loud crying grew weaker and she finally gave in, letting her hands find their way from her sides and up my back, clutching my tunic.
 	I continued the hug, rocking our bodies softly by shifting weight from one foot to the other. After several minutes, the woman in my arms had quieted so I loosened my hold and lifted my head to look down at her. She didn't move from my chest.
 	"Do you know what you're doing, Malook?" her voice was barely audible.
 	Pausing to consider the question, I at last assured her, "I know what I'm doing. They're going to be alright."
 	The woman sniffed one final time, "I trust you."