✿ Five ~ Sloppy Love ✿

                                    

                                          
Mercenary! Sans x Deadpool! Frisk
                          
Yes. I'm doing this
                          
Ahoy lads! It's warning time! If you know Deadpool, you should know that there's bound to be a bundle of sexual references and jokes! I didn't add anything explicit, so it's not too bad. You may now carry on~
Also a little extra stuffs:
- They both know they're in a story, but Sans has less knowledge on the type of story.
                          
♥︎ Sans' P.O.V. ♥︎
                          
     I was 'enjoying' a rather unpalatable beer at the Hellhouse, drinking my boredom away. I'd just finished another mission that'd earned me a load of cash, I was set for almost a month. 
     "Oh who am I kidding..." I muttered to myself. The only reason I wasn't going on another one of their "quests" for a while, is because I'm much too lazy. Sure I was suffering from intense lethargy, but killing more half-witted dipsticks sounded like such a chore. As I was considering whether or not I should go to the club and watch some fellow numbskulls whack each other empty wine bottles, the door flew open... as it usually does.
     "Evening my devotees! "Señorita Sexy" is in the building!" Frisk, or Deadpool announced loudly, in a rather strange accent. A full body red and black suit was snug on her body as she sashayed up to the bar. 
     "Damn..." I sighed to myself, feeling like a complete pervert for staring. Her mask was currently off, brown hair swaying in the cheap lighting. I watched her speak enthusiastically to Grillby, gaining her reward. She's always in here, either causing trouble or receiving a task that she effortlessly completes. Even the most dangerous jobs are no sweat, guess that healing factor assists her greatly. I grunted, not out of jealousy of course, I'd run out of booze. 
     "It wasn't that good anyways, and it's not like I can even get hammered." I said to myself. Bonus points for being a skeleton I suppose. Drinking was like a game for me, to pass time.
     "Hey babe!" undoubtedly Frisk cooed, sliding into the seat next to mine. I guess I forgot to mention that we were somewhat acquaintances. "I can practically hear them screaming! I came here for Frans! Stop talking to Grillby and charm that skeleton!" She chuckled, allowing me to snicker alongside her..
     "Hah... I feel you. Wait... what's a Frans?" Frisk glanced at me before shaking her head.
     "Nevermind..." Another brew was placed in front of me. "Looking pretty bored over here Soberman!" I rolled my eyes before taking a swig.
     "Whadduya want?" I yawned, taking another peek at the diva's holy fragments.
     "Why don'tcha ask yourself that? If looks could touch, I bet I'd be screaming right about now." It took me a while to understand, but you could tell when I did. Heat pretty much radiated off of me.
     "Aw, you're like a little blueberry. Sweet or sour I wonder. Mind if I have a bite~?" I grasped the stein and chugged the rest of the bitter beverage, pleading for mercy in my cerulean head.
     "E-enough Frisk. Are you done?" 
     "Far from it, but I can give you a break. When you're ready to try again, I'll be waiting in the sheets." She winked before subtly running her hand near my pelvis.
     "FRI- Pool I swear to Asgore!" I hissed before swatting her little monster away.
     "Pff, you're such a girl. Whatever, let's go have some fun!" I was lifted from my slowly-becoming-comfortable seat. "I'm thinking... cheating at the arcade then chimichangas!" She cheered, excitement whistling in her vocals.
     "Do I even have a say?"
     "Don't worry! I'll be sure to include something you want too~!"
     "If you make another sex joke I'm going to destroy you."
     "Please do!" I felt my eye light up, illuminating my sockets with a piercing azure. Frisk looked to the side, smiling nervously. "Okay okay! I'm sorry."
     "Thank you." I calmed down.
     "... we can bang after this though, right?" She said with absolutely no shame. I facepalmed, unable to locate my anger.
     "There's no end to your reign is there?"
     "Nope~!"
                          
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I'm thinking of making a part two to this as well... but maybe not cuz I'm lazy as fu--