i'll see you soon

                                    

                                          
Phil's POV:
                          
"Phil, this is the most fun I've ever had."
                          
          Dan's final words are ringing through my ears as I hold his lifeless body.  I'm sobbing.  The last thing I saw were his beautiful eyes.  They held galaxies.  But, they held my heart.  And his eyes are gone.  Gone because of me.  Gone because of Chris.  Gone because of his parents.  Gone because of this cruel, selfish world.  Gone.  Forever.
                          
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          They keep telling me he'll be in my heart.  He won't.  He gone.  "Phil, this is the most fun I've ever had.". These words ringing through my ears.  Everyday. I can't escape.  Gone.
                          
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~One year later~
                          
          "Hi Phil.  I missed you" Dan said.  "Dan?" I question, "Dan! You're alive! I missed you so much!" " I missed you too, Phil."  "I love you Dan!  Why did you leave?" At this point I'm crying. "Why did you leave me?  Only to come back a whole year later?  You put me through this pain.  Why?" Sobbing.  "Phil." Dan starts sadly.  I can see the sadness in his eyes.  The eyes that held galaxies.  The eyes my heart was kept in. "I had to.  I was in pain.  You have to understand." "No I don't Dan.  You left me.  You left our future.  You left me when I was going to propose!  Dan. You left ME!"  Dan looks down sadly and states with a fake smile, "You didn't read it, didn't you?  Read it Phil.  I'll leave now." 
                          
          I see Dan start to fade away.  I panic!  "DAN PLEASE. NO!  STAY! please." I choke out.  "Read it." Dan says quietly. "I'll see you soon." He finally fades into thin air and I am sitting there heartbroken.
                          
          I get up and look through my drawer.  
                          
          After sifting through various piles of crap, I find it.  Dan's suicide letter.  Truth be told, the day he died, I couldn't bring myself to open it.  I was heartbroken that day and couldn't think straight.  Reading this letter would have only made it worse.  And, it would still make it worse, but Dan said to read it.
                          
          I can't read it.  I put it back into the drawer and go to sleep.  I have to go to my job tomorrow and if I'm late one more time, they're going to fire me.  I leave the letter alone.  However, I'm leaving it alone for as long as I can.  Which, I hope, is forever.
                          
~Another year later~
                          
          Well.  I got fired about five months ago.  I've seen Dan a few times.  Not for long.  Only telling me read the letter.  I'm running out of money.  But, I'm also running out of a will to live.  Dan was my reason to live.  He's not here anymore.
                          
          I finally decide to read the letter.  I carefully tear open the envelope marked with my name.
                          
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Dear Phil,
                          
          I just wanted to start out with I love you so so much and none of this is your fault.  None.  Please don't ever hurt yourself.  Stay alive for me.  I'll be waiting here.  Wherever "here" is....
                          
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          I finish the letter.  I'm even more heartbroken.  The fact he wanted to marry me.  I was going to propose to him that day.  I left.  I shouldn't have.  We could've been married by now.  I am shaking and hiccuping from the sobs that dared to come up my throat.
                          
          "Phil, don't cry please?"  I hear Dan say.  "Dan?  You're back?  Why do you always go away for the longest time and come back out of the blue?" I question.  "Phil-" Dan starts.  However, I lose it. "No Dan.  You left me broken hearted with you big brown eyes that held galaxies.  I told you that didn't I?" "I'm sor-" "No, Dan let me finish.  Well guess what?  Your eyes also held my heart.  You took my heart with you when you killed yourself." At this point I'm chocking back sobs and trying not yell too much.  "You left me in the dust.  You were gone.  But now you think you can come back again?  You left me a year ago as well!  Why do you keep leaving me!  Was I not good enough?"  Dan's face is unreadable.  "Phil, I told you, this isn't your fault.  I told you to hold on.  You're doing that right now!  Please, Phil.  Forgive me?"
                          
          I don't know how to react.  "Dan, please.  It's hard to forgive someone who left you!  Maybe, but not right now.  I can't get over you and what happened."  Dan looks down.  I see a tear fall down onto his jeans.  Black, skinny jeans.  The ones he was wearing when he died.  Why was he crying?  I don't know.  "Dan, why are you crying?" I question softly, suddenly feeling bad for yelling.  "I'm sorry for yelling."  Dan looks up.  More tears welling in his eyes.  He smiles a soft, but pained smile.  "It's okay Phil.  I forgive you."  Dan stands up.  I see him slowly fading.  For some reason I can tell it's his last time here.  "I've got to go, Phil"  I can feel more tears welling in my eyes.  But, I also feel anger.  "No, Dan!  Stay please?  DO NOT LEAVE ME AGAIN!" I yell.  He looks like a ghost at this point.  "Please, Dan.  Don't leave me again.  I need you.  Your hugs.  Your hair.  Your smile.  Your laugh.  Dan!  I need your eyes.  I need you.  Please, don't leave me." I chock out.  Dan only smiles and waves sadly, saying, "I'll see you soon, Phil.  I'll see you soon.    Good bye."
                          
          I see as Dan fades into nothingness.  I collapse onto the ground, sobbing.  I need Dan.  He's my everything.  He left again.  I don't know how much more I can take.
                          
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        I guess the longest I could take was a month.  I just needed Dan.  He hadn't shown up at all the past month.  I needed to see him again.  His final words always ring through my ears.  Causing me to breakdown.  I just couldn't handle it.
                          
          I find his letter.  I take the wedding ring I had bought the day he died.  I wrote a note.  It wasn't long. 
                          
I'm seeing Dan, I love you.
-Phil
                          
           That was all it said.  I don't know who it is for.  My parents?  My friends?  Dan's parents?  I guess it's for anyone.
                          
          I walk to a bridge.  Dan's note and his ring in my pocket.  A lady asks for me to take a picture of her.  I do of course.  It's weird to think she doesn't know what I'm doing.  
                          
          I get to the ledge and climb over.  I delicately balance myself.  Dan was right.  I was seeing him soon.  But, seeing him soon meant I'd get to see him.  I'd get to see his eyes, the ones that hold galaxies.  The ones that hold me heart.  
                          
          I let go.  "I'll see you soon, Dan.  I'll see you and your eyes.  I'll see the eyes I fell in love with.  I'll see galaxies.  I'll see you soon"  I think as I hit the water, and everything goes black.


                          
the end.