honey

                                    

                                          
sherlock walked down the too familiar corridor, saying hi to the nurses as he passed them, going to the room that held the man he loved. he stopped at the door when he sae john's nure, kenny, come out. 
                          
"how is he?" sherlock asked. 
                          
kenny's face dropped. "he's got weeks left, days even, i'm so sorry." he patted sherlock on the shoulder. 
                          
sherlock nodded and walked into the room slowly. he saw the man sitting up in the bed, playing with the bowl of stew that sat in front of him. john noticed sherlock and looked up at him, smiling. "hello, love." his raspy voice said. 
                          
sherlock gave him a timid smile and walked over to him. "hi." he said softly and kissed his head of grey hair. he sat down in the chair next to the bed, letting his cane rest against it. 
                          
"they keep trying to feed me this shit. i want real food." john complained, setting his spoon down and pushing the tray away from him.
                          
"you have to eat it. you need protein." sherlock said and watched his husband. 
                          
"there's more protein in a sandwich than in this so called stew." john said, making sherlock smile. "when can i go back home?" he asked and looked at sherlock. his eyes had become bluer as he aged, all the blond left his hair and small round glasses sat upon his nose. he was much smaller. the meat had left his bones and he was starting to turn into a skelton. 
                          
"in a few weeks, love." sherlock lied, giving him a comforting smile. john couldn't leave. his cancer was getting worse. stage four leukemia and there was nothing they could do. john refused chemo, so they just had to up the morphine and let it slowly take him. 
                          
"how are the bees?" john asked softly. 
                          
sherlock rolled the small table with the stew away from the bed and rose from his chair slowly, sitting on john's bed, patting his knee. "the bees are great." 
                          
"they keep asking about the honey. they want more." john said in almost a whisper. he was already getting tired. 
                          
sherlock sighed and rubbed john's leg, feeling the bone. "i'll bring more tomorrow, don't worry." 
                          
john smiled tiredly as his eye lids started to fall close. "good." it was barely audible and then he was asleep.
                          
sherlock kissed his forehead before standing up and reclining john's bed back. he sighed and grabbed his cane, heading out of the room. he walked out of the hospital to the cab he had waiting. he knew his visit wasn't going to be long. they were getting shorter and shorter every day. he was going to be surprised if john made it to the end of the week. 
                          
they moved to sussex when hudders passed, deciding it was best to leave the city. they bought a small cottage with a beautiful yard and from there, sherlock started collecting hives. john's favorite part about having the bees, was the honey. he'd have it in his tea, on his toast and sometimes he'd make honey biscuits. they discovered the cancer a few months ago. john came home and then when he wasn't able to walk, he went back into the hospital. the only thing he asked for was the honey. sherlock would bring the honey and then the nurses started getting in on it. sherlock's honey was a big hit. everyone loved it, so he started bringing a case of a dozen in every week and let every one fight over it. 
                          
as he walked into the small house, he looked at all the pictures. the pictures of his and john's wedding day, their holidays, them happy and smiling. sherlock went over to the mantel piece and picked up the frame with the picture of him and john when they were just kids after one of john's rugby matches. john was all muddy and was hugging his best friend tightly, getting sherlock all muddy as well. this was their favorite picture. he smiled and set the picture back on the mantel piece, making his way to the sliding glass doors that lead out to the back yard. sherlock slid the glass open and stepped out side, going to the shed that sat in the far corner, walking past his hives. he turned the light on and rested his cane against the door, finishing off the rest of the honey jars. 
                          
kenny met sherlock outside so he could carry the case for him, helping sherlock inside as well. on the way to john's room, kenny informed sherlock that john had gotten worse last night and today was most likely his last night. sherlock held back the tears and took the extra jar of honey from the case, taking it to john with him. he walked in and john wasn't sitting up. the bed was inclined a little bit, but he wasn't talking. he was wheezing. 
                          
"sherlock," he panted, reaching out for him. 
                          
sherlock wiped his tears before walking over to his husband. he sat on the bed and watched john take his hand. it barely felt like there was a hand there and it made another tear fall from sherlock's eye. 
                          
"i'm not going home am i?" he asked, his chest heaving. 
                          
sherlock shook his head and held the fragile hand. "i brought the honey today. even brought a jar for you." he said and showed john the jar. 
                          
john smiled the best he could and tried to lift his head, but he couldn't. "can i have some?" 
                          
sherlock nodded and got the spoon off his tray from breakfast, taking a moment for himself while he was turned. he turned back around to john and popped the lid off, setting it on the tray. he got a little bit on the spoon and fed it to john, watching him smile at the taste. 
                          
"gets better every time." john whispered. 
                          
sherlock smiled sadly and set the jar on the tray along with the spoon. he held john's hand and looked at him, tears forming. 
                          
"don't cry." john whispered. "we- we talked about this." he coughed a bit. 
                          
sherlock nodded, "i know." 
                          
"remember when we were young, what we promised each other?" john asked. 
                          
sherlock nodded. 
                          
"you alright?" john asked sherlock who was laying on the floor, beaten and bloody. 
                          
sherlock nodded and sat up, sniffling. "they came out of no where," he creid. 
                          
john cupped his friends face and wiped the tears gently away with his thumbs. "there is no crying allowed, you hear me?" 
                          
sherlock sniffled and nodded. 
                          
"crying means you've given up and you, sherlock holmes, have not given up." john looked his friend in the eyes. "promise you'll never give up?" he asked softly. 
                          
sherlock nodded. "i promise," he whispered. 
                          
"i'm not giving up." sherlock said. "you're dying." 
                          
"there's still no crying allowed." he barely made the sentence before he started coughing roughly. "i want you to know that i love you, sherlock. i've loved you for the past seventy two years. i always have, and always will." john inhaled deeply, knowing these were his last words. "promise me you'll keep making honey. you'll keep bringing it here every week and maybe start selling it at the local market. promise." 
                          
sherlock nodded. "i promise," he cried. 
                          
"you're such a softie," john smiled, coughing again. kenny came in then reclined john's bed back again, putting the oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. john fought the mask and gripped onto sherlock's hand, not ready to leave him yet. "i love you," he breathed. 
                          
"i love you, too." sherlock said and stood up, kissing john's lips once. 
                          
kenny put the mask over john's nose and mouth again, but he started to flatline. kenny sighed and checked his watch. "time of death, eight thirty seven." he said sadly, turning john's machine off. 
                          
sherlock cried softly and kissed john's wedding ring. "i haven't given up. i've just given up the person i love the most." 
                          
not gonna lie, i cried writing this.
also, i published the mistress fic, so go check it.