Chapter 31

                                    

                                          
Tim POV {Present}: 
Three Months Later 
I walk through the halls with my third cup of coffee today, yawning as I stand outside her room. Mom and Kim sit inside, talking to one another about something that seems pretty intense. I wait outside for a moment, deciding to gauge whether I should barge in or not. 
"I saw him down in the chapel this morning... Kim, my son doesn't pray. The only time that boy has prayed was the night his step-father got so furious and harmful that we had to call the police to take him away." She says, making my stomach drop. "My son has no faith in a higher power, and only turns to one when he's completely lost of options and direction... when he's scared as hell." Mom explains, while Kim stares at the hospital bed. "I'm terrified that this is going to kill him." Mom lets out, making Kim nod. Kim shuts her eyes, before leaning back in her chair and looking up at the ceiling.
"I don't know why it seems like he just can't win..." Kim says, making Mom laugh while shaking her head. 
"He doesn't deserve this. Sure, he's screwed up enough for a lifetime, but he's already paid the price." Mom says, leaning her elbow against the arm of her chair, resting the side of her head on her hand. "Faith means the world to him... I just... I can't imagine him burying her. I can't... That's just something that I can't seem to wrap my mind around." Mom admits, seeming shaken. I take a step back away from the door, shutting my eyes to try and push the words out of my mind before they sink in.
I turn around, walking down the hall to the stairwell, before running down seven flights of stairs. I walk out to my car, get in, and drive anywhere that isn't here. I let myself autopilot, finding that I'm pulling into the studio parking lot. I turn off the car, staring at the brick building for a couple moments. There are no other cars in the parking lot, meaning it's empty, and all the studios are open. I think on it for a moment, before getting out of the car and walking inside. The door chimes, almost an identical replication of the sound that changed my life years ago. 
I get a flash in front of my eyes, seeing a musty, unair-conditioned record store instead of the studio. I blink twice, seeing her standing before a stack of records, flipping through them tirelessly with her delicate fingers, smiling at every title. 
"Faith?" I call out, causing her head to turn my way, her smile growing. 
"Oh my god, Tim?" I hear her voice sing, hitting me like a warm beam of sunlight. She runs over toward me. The closer she comes toward me, the more faint the picture, leaving me back in a dark, empty studio before she can reach me. 
My heart pounds, before I shut my eyes, having to tell myself once again that it's not real... These memories that appear so clear in front of me, just aren't real. She's in a hospital bed, fighting for her life right now... She's not in some record store, or sitting in the passenger seat, or sleeping in bed beside me. It just feels that way... 
I walk into the recording booth, slamming down in the office chair in front of the mixing board. A notepad and pen sit leaning against the window to the vocal room, daring me to pick it up. I cave in, setting it in my lap, and clicking the pen a couple times. I set the tip of the pen to the page, letting my mind flow right through my hand. 

Verse 1: Let's just cut it down the middle. Let it bleed and bleed out... I'll clean up the mess, baby. You stand there and shout... Cry, cry... Baby, I can't hold us together

Verse 2: Paint me in a corner. Cover me with rage... I'll take it like a circus lion - Silent in my cage. Cry, cry... Baby, I can't change the weather...

Chorus: Baby, I'll let go when you say so... Try to let your heart fly free. I'll crawl out of my cradle, down in to my black hole... and you just lay low... under your halo...

Verse 3: I'll slip into the back room. Fall onto your cast... Almost out of focus, like a faded photograph... Cry, cry... baby, I'm all out of answers