Habits

                                    

                                          
It's been two weeks since Hoseok and I did that...thing. Anyways, I finally got the courage to ask him out while we were in detention together. Yeah, we were in detention because my dumb self made us late...oops. 
                          
The detention teacher was pretty pissed when we both squealed with happiness. Let me tell you, I will never squeal again, that was a one time thing. 
                          
So now I'm currently waiting for Hoseok to come out of his class. Yes, I left my last class early (walked out). 
                          
To me, school is pretty useless, but Hoseok adores it! He's student council president, he's in band, he's in all advanced classes, and he tutors other dumb kids when he isn't busy. 
                          
Then there's me. 
                          
I don't like school, I'm in advanced classes I can barely pass, I hate this school, I get detention every week, I sell drugs on the low...yeah Hoseok doesn't know about that, and he won't...ever! 
                          
My smoking habit has gotten worse. I don't see it as an addiction...yet. I don't do it around Hoseok because he thinks I quit. I told him I did, but he really shouldn't expect much from me. I know I shouldn't lie, but this is all I have. I have trust issues, so this is the only thing I can actually turn to. 
                          
I was startled as the bell rung. I pushed through the students to look for Hoseok. Finally I spot him. "There you are". 
                          
"Are you coming over today?" I asked as I carried his books for him. 
                          
"Of course", he said without hesitation.
                          
Other students don't know we're dating, so when people ask why were always together, I say that Hoseok is tutoring me 'cause I'm a dumb bad boy. 
                          
Hoseok and I thought it would be best if we kept it on the low, unlike Jungkook and Jimin. The fuckers are always making out in the halls, and Jimin gives Jungkook a blowjob in the bathroom like everyday. It's either a blowjob or being butt-fucked. Yes, Jimin is an obvious bottom, you can tell when you get to know him.
                          
Hoseok and I fuck...sometimes. Well, over the past two weeks we've been together, I've seen him naked like three times, so uh...that counts.
SORRY MY BOYFRIEND WONT LET ME RAM HIM IN THE ASS. 
                          
While Hoseok and I walked down the hallway, some student council members gave us questioning looks. Hoseok then did a 'dumb' face and pointed at me, the student council members got it right away. 
                          
"Sorry Yoongs, I'll make it up to you. 
                          
"Fine whatever" I scoff. 

                          
We finally arrived at my house, Hoseok seemed a little on edge though. We laid on my bed and listened to music up until Hoseok spoke up. 
                          
"Yoongi..." 
                          
"Yes Hoseok" 
                          
"Why can't we do stuff like Jimin and Jungkook?", he said looking down. 
                          
I began taking my belt off, "finally!" 
                          
Hoseok stopped me from pulling my dick out. 
                          
"I meant fluffy stuff, not that..." 
                          
I was a little let down by Hoseok stopping me. I sighed, "Hoseok, they're fluffy 'cause they fuck each other every five seconds". 
                          
Hoseok looked at me as I cupped his face. Man did he look innocent, that look alone drives me crazy, he always gives me that look. 
                          
"Fine, this is your only pass, but only because you didn't get detention today... and I owe you". 
                          
10 minuets later...
                          
"Fuck me Y-Yoongi, harder!"
                          
I didn't know Hoseok had such a potty mouth in bed...I love it! 
                          
I tightened my grip around his waist as he rode me. I can't believe this is what I missed out when I was drunk as fuck. 
                          
I picked up my pace as I fucked Hoseok into his second orgasm. 
                          
"Ah..fuck, I love your dick daddy". 
                          
I came when I heard that, it so not like him but I fucking love it. 
                          
I panted heavily as Hoseok rode me until he came...again. 
                          
I pushed his wet hair away from his eyes, oh God was he beautiful like this: on my dick, sweaty, and swollen lips. He was so captivating, I wanted it to last forever. 
                          
Hoseok laid his head on my shoulder, but I think he forgot about something. 
                          
"Hobi, if you want to sleep you have to get off my dick first" I chuckled. 
                          
I helped Hoseok off and pulled the covers over him. I put on some pajama pants and left the room. I quickly made my way outside, I leaned against the wall as I lit a cigarette. I wish I could stop. 
                          
The day I'll forget my past is when I'm dead. I may distract myself from it, but it has brought me so many negative things. One of those things being depression. 
                          
Almost everyday I would come home and lock myself away somewhere, or I would just sit in the dark and cry. Now that Hoseok comes over almost every day, I have to try to keep my emotions locked in until he's not around. I have to do all these things in secret and trust me, I don't want to...but I just can't stop. These negative habits have attached themselves to me, and now I'm scared to let go of those habits because I have nothing to turn to. If I stop doing what I'm doing already, I would probably turn to suicide. 
                          
I know pretty selfish huh. But being dead is better than living in misery. Trust me when I say I am not afraid to die, I'm scared to be living. I'm scared of all the possible outcomes of my actions. I'm scared of falling into a deeper hole than I'm already in. 
                          
Now that Hoseok is here, he's turned into some sort of drug. He's addictive. I can't let him go, he's turned into a habit. Maybe it's loneliness, but all I know for sure is that I need Hoseok, and now that I have him, I can't live without him. Just like my habits.
                          
My past is what made me like this 
                          
I hate being like this 
                          
Why am I like this 
                          
I just want to forget all the bad stuff
                          
Please help me forget Hoseok 
                          
I can't stop 
                          
I want to forget









                          
Ayoooo! Yeah sorry about my attempt on writing smut...I know I know I need to get better at writing. Other than that, that's all I have for you fuckers. See y'all next week (there's a little twist) OK BYE!