-10-

                                    

                                          
I stood outside her door, sweating all over with nerves. I took a deep breath before knocking a few times on the door. As she opened the door, her smile turned from happy to scared. 
                          
"Sage" Shen breathed, I gave my best smile. 
                          
"Hi Debby" I smiled, she smiled back but it was obviously fake. I already knew what she thought of me, I was a paranoid bitch who hated her for no reason. I was a paranoid bitch but I didn't hate her. 
                          
"Sage...if this is about Josh, I haven't seen him in-"
                          
"No...it's not. Can I come in?" I asked, she nodded and moved aside so I could walk in. 
                          
"Does Josh know you're here?" She asked as she sat by me on the couch. I shook my head and she laughed slightly. 
                          
"Look Debby, I just want to apologise for...well...everything. I can't imagine how I must've made you feel throughout mine and Josh's relationship. To be honest...I'm embarrassed" I vented, she was silent for a moment before giving me a small smile. 
                          
"I can't say I wasn't jealous when I found out. It's been hard to get over him...but I think you two are good together. It's taken me a long time to realise it but I do now" she smiled. 
                          
"Okay!" I breathed as if I had achieved something and she giggled. 
                          
"Sage I also want to apologise for basically ruining your relationship" she laughed, I smiled and nodded agreeing.
                          
"It's all good now, we are doing great so I just want to let you know that you shouldn't feel as though it's bad to see him" I let her know, she nodded. 
                          
"Okay" She said awkwardly. 
                          
"I should go...I'm meant to meet Josh" I said looking at my phone. She nodded and we both stood up, I stood there awkwardly until she rolled her eyes and pulled me in for a hug. 
                          
"I'm glad we've got past this" she said but I didn't know whether to believe her or not. That was always my issue, I didn't trust whether or not I had an issue overhead with someone so most of the time I would make it awkward when it wasn't supposed to be. I gave her a convincing smile and walked out of her apartment swiftly. 
                          
As I ubered home I thought about how I would tell Josh where I had been, we were meant to be having a night in so there was no getting away from him. I sighed as I put the key in the door and unlocked it, as soon as I opened the door I was smacked in the face with the smell of a home cooked meal. I put my keys on the side and shut the door behind me, Josh's head poked out from behind the bathroom door. 
                          
"Hey babe! You're home!" He exclaimed, I put my purse on the floor and nodded. 
                          
"Are you cooking?" I asked as he walked up to me, he snaked his arms around my waist and kissed me before nodding. 
                          
"Yeah my mom taught me over FaceTime, I just thought we could have our first home cooked meal as a living together couple" He grinned, my heart melted as I smiled like a goof up at him.
                          
"That's a great idea" I smiled, I pulled my hair down from my ponytail as he went back over to the oven to check on dinner. I leaned over the kitchen island and watched him be a great boyfriend. 
                          
"So where have you been today?" He asked as he poured two glasses of wine.
                          
"Wine Joshua?" I giggled as he passed it over to me. 
                          
"It's what couples do when they have dinner I think" He shrugged but it just made me swoon for him even more.
                          
"I went to Debby's apartment" I said to my glass of wine, he froze and suddenly looked scared as he had done something wrong. 
                          
"Why?" He asked after a long silence.
                          
"Just to chat" I said before taking a huge gulp of wine, he nodded. 
                          
"About anything in particular?" he pushed, I shrugged just to be a tease.
                          
"I basically apologised for being a bitch to her indirectly and she apologised for indirectly causing us to break up. We are good now though and I told her not worry about seeing you even though it's caused issues before" I explained, he looked as though he had mixed feelings.
                          
"Why did you feel like you had to do that?" He asked, his eyes had changed from loving to dark and it scared me slightly.
                          
"Because I know you don't see her anymore and I can tell that you miss her and as much as that pains me as it has before I can't be selfish with you. Meet up with her like I do with Luke" I said, I realised soon after I probably shouldn't have mentioned Luke, Josh was very weary about him.
                          
"You and Luke aren't exes though, just friends" He said, I nodded but then shrugged.
                          
"Eh, we kissed once so I guess that counts but still...I am just telling you to catch up with her, I can't tell you to stop caring about her and her wellbeing" Josh nodded but then his eyes widened.
                          
"You kissed once?!" He burst, it only occurred to me then that Josh didn't know about that, my mouth dropped and I tried to pick up all the pieces that I had just spilt.
                          
"It was like a few weeks after we broke up, I got embarrassingly wasted at Brendons barbecue where I met Luke and we kissed. I soon realised he wasn't for me romantically when I saw him after that sober. That's how we became friends." I explained, Josh took a deep breath.
                          
"Any feelings?" He said as if he was so done with this.
                          
"None at all" I assured him, he nodded and then shook his head.
                          
"Back to Debby. You went to see her to apologise to her and tell her not to be afraid to see me" he summarised.
                          
"Basically" I nodded, he let out a deep breath and then smiled.
                          
"Okay" He came over to me and gave me a hug to let me know he's absorbed and he's fine now. "You really kissed Luke?" He asked as if he may have misheard.
                          
"It was disgusting but you cannot hold this against me, you kissed Debby" I pointed at him and he laughed.
                          
"Yeah okay, I guess" He laughed, an alarm went off on his phone and he ran over to the oven. He pulled out what looked like chicken and fries. I tried not to laugh at him since I knew he was trying so hard. He turned to me just as I was topping up both of our glasses. "The fries aren't that impressive but I prepared this chicken all by myself" He said proudly, I grinned at him and nodded.
                          
"I am just impressed you're cooking, it's more than I can do" I sipped my wine. He just laughed as he put the food on the plates.
                          
"Shut up, your pancakes are a main factor to why I'm dating you" he joked, I raised my eyebrows and smirked. 
                          
"Oh really?" I hopped onto a stool and waited for my meal. 
                          
"Yeah, that day in Texas when you first made them for me. I was like damn, I love this girl" he said and passed me my plate. I held his head and kissed him softly as he did so. 
                          
"Pancakes the day you realised you loved me, pancakes the day we broke up" I joked, he shook his head. 
                          
"No i realised I loved you when I was at home that first Christmas. You know, when Debby showed up...anyway we were talking about you and she asked me whether I loved you and I realised I did. Of course, then I screwed it all up" he laughed. I cocked my head, I really didn't expect that. "When did you realise?" He asked before taking a bite of chicken. 
                          
"Kinda the same thing, Jacob was trying to convince me to leave with him and I was like 'no I love Josh' and I said it without realising it and then I did realise and started freaking out because I thought I was gonna screw it up" I confessed. 
                          
"Well, I love you so cheers to that" he raised his glass. 
                          
"I love you too" I smiled and we clinked drinks before kissing and then taking a sip.