I Wish It Was Me (Jon x Male Reader)

                                    

                                          
You were going to go see your old friend today. It had been a long time since you had seen him, and you brought some flowers since you heard he was sick. You turned off your car, grabbing the flowers, and locked the doors while heading up to the hill. He always liked to stay outside in nature; he was in-tune with it like he was a nature spirit or something. 
                          


                          
You trudged up the hill, looking at the flora around you in mild interest. You had never been here much before. Everything was blooming and brightly colored; it was spring time. You hummed a little almost tripping on some slick leaves left over from the spring time rain. You were on a mission to give Jon the flowers, also there was another mission you had planned. You were going to finally tell him your feelings. 
                          


                          
You had met Jon around 5 years ago when he still lived with Eduardo and Mark. He was shy and timid, towered over you since you actually were smaller than him believe it or not. He was kind and caring, which made you fall for him in a heartbeat. You were scared he would turn you down since you were a dude, you didn't know if he swung that way so you never told him anything. Small hints were given though, but he never picked up on it or if he did, he ignored it. 
                          


                          
Mark and Eduardo knew of your affection for Jon and basically left you alone with it. They said it would be good if Jon stopped annoying them with dumb things throughout the day if he spent his time with you. You didn't know whether to feel glad that they approved or offended that they thought of Jon more than nothing but a pest. Yet, your feelings were never discovered because you had moved away to another city because your job demanded it. 
                          


                          
You tried to keep in contact with the boys, but they apparently changed their numbers or something happened. You finally got word of them. 
                          


                          
After finally for what seemed like hours, you managed to get up the hill and found the place where Jon usually stayed at. You smiled, seeing him as he was sitting there peacefully with birds and small animals surrounding him like he was a prince of the forest.  
                          


                          
You sat down beside him, holding the flowers in your hands as you bit your lip. You felt yourself beginning to sniffle a little. You tried to hold it back for Jon. "J-Jon, I brought you some flowers today. They are your favorite ones, the blue ones, the b-blue orchids." You set them down in front of you on the cool stone. 
                          


                          
You were visiting Jon's grave today. He had died in an explosion caused by one of his neighbors. Mark had told you when  you ran into him at the supermarket which caused you to break down in the middle of the aisle while Mark consoled you.  
                          


                          
"Y-You know, some people say that blue f-flowers represent love." You cried out, tears welling up in the corner of your eyes. "J-Jon, I wanted to tell you this for a very long time, but I was afraid you would hate me for it." You bit your lip, holding your head in your hands. "I love you Jon. I've always loved you for a very long time. I was afraid you'd hate me, and never talk to me again." You sobbed into your hands openly as a grief settled over you. Your heart ached. 
                          


                          
"Y/N, please don't cry." Jon's disembodied voice sent chills throughout your whole body. It was eerie, and you stopped for a moment to look up to see someone you thought you'd never see again. 
                          


                          
Floating right in front of you was Jon. His skin was a pale light blue color, and he was see through. He was floating above his tombstone in a small kind manner like some sort of ghost. He blinked softly before smiling kindly at you. "When you cry, it makes me sad. I don't like to see you sad." He spoke. 
                          


                          
You stopped crying for a moment and looked stunned. "J-Jon?" You crawled on your hands and knees towards the ghost boy you loved so much.  
                          


                          
"It's me. Y/N, I loved you too you know. I was afraid you wouldn't like me because I was so shy and scared all the time. I'm glad you feel the same way, now I can finally move on." He chuckled, fading away from you. "Thank you, Y/N. I love you." 
                          


                          
Before you could reach him, he vanished into the sky. You felt your heart break even more than it had already been. "J-Jon?" You called out for him. "J-Jon?" You wanted to see your precious cinnamon roll crush again, "J-JON?!" You screamed out, looking at his tombstone and falling to your knees in anguish. You clenched the side of it harshly, screaming at the top of your lungs. 
                          


                          
"I WISH IT HAD BEEN ME THAT DIED!"