Chapter 5

                                    

                                          
Hollypaw had strange dreams every time she closed her eyes. But they didn't seem like dreams. They felt more like...memories. What was going on?
                          
The one currently flashing through her mind made her heart pound. But it wasn't the type of pounding that meant she was scared or alarmed. It was a happy flutter of her heart, one that made her feel her belly and chest warm with happiness and....love? It was different sort of love, though. It wasn't the love you felt towards kin or a friend. It was the love you'd feel towards your mate. But how on earth would Hollypaw know this feeling? She'd never been in love before. 
                          
Suddenly, her eyes opened. It was deep into leaf-bare and she was trudging through the snow, excitement coursing through her body. Why was she excited? What was she doing? 
                          
She glanced down at her brown forepaws as she carefully stepped through the white thickness. Wait...her paws weren't brown! 
                          
She drew in her own scent. Oh, she'd know that scent anywhere. She was in the body of her mother, Duskflight. But why? How? 
                          
It's just a dream, she told herself. 
                          
She knew this wasn't something she was witnessing that was taking place now. It was not yet leaf-bare, so that's how she was able to tell. 
                          
She glanced at her flank—well, Duskflight's flank—and saw that it was swollen. This was a flashback! She was seeing into the time when her mother was pregnant. 
                          
"I will wait for him here," Duskflight whispered under her breath, a translucent cloud of whiteness gathering around her muzzle from the freezing air. 
                          
Who's him? Hollypaw wondered. 
                          
A few heartbeats later, there was rustling in the bushes. 
                          
"There you are!" Duskflight piped up, a trill of happiness shooting through her veins and causing her heart to speed up. 
                          
Hollypaw listened to her mother and the tom—she could not see him because of the shadows—exchange a loving greeting. 
                          
"What is it?" the tom spoke. 
                          
Hollypaw pricked her ears as she listened to his voice, hoping she'd recognize it. She thought she did, but before she could think too deeply into it, Duskflight began to speak again. 
                          
"I have something important to tell you," Duskflight meowed, sounding nervous. 
                          
Hollypaw felt her mother's heart quicken and anxiety stir in her belly. 
                          
Then she realized what was happening. Duskflight was about to tell this tom she was pregnant. This...this was her mate! Hollypaw's father! She had found him at last! If only she could see his face, though...
                          
But why were they here?
                          
Wait... Hollypaw thought for a second. Her mother was nervous, she was out of camp in the nightly hours, meeting up at the...StreamClan border?
                          
Yes, Hollypaw recognized the fishy smell of PineClan's neighbor. Her mother was in a forbidden relationship?? 
                          
I'm a...half-Clan cat?? A small bit of disappointment and sadness filled her. Why? Oh StarClan, if Larkpaw heard about this...
                          
"You're what?!" the tom suddenly growled, snapping Hollypaw from her panicked thoughts. 
                          
Surprise lingered in Duskflight's body at her mate's answer. He sounded mad, disgusted, unbelievable. 
                          
"Do you...not want to have kits with me?" Duskflight asked, her voice cracking painfully. 
                          
Hollypaw wished her mother would say his name. She just had to know!
                          
"We're done, Duskflight," the tom hissed. "I never found our relationship that serious. It was more...platonic. Besides, I have a new mate now. A real one. I love her, not you."
                          
"You're...you're cheating on me?" Duskflight gasped, horror striking her. 
                          
"Well, I suppose I am. Not like it's a crime. We weren't supposed to be together anyways." There was rustling and the sounds of paw steps as the unknown tom trotted away back into StreamClan territory. 
                          
Depression was crashing over Duskflight in a strong, destructive wave, her legs shaking and crumpling beneath her. Her heart was pounding, so loud it seemed to be the only sound she heard. 
                          
"Hollypaw! Hollypaw!"
                          
The young she-cat felt a paw prodding her flank and she jumped awake, her head spinning and her claws unsheathed. She glanced frantically around the apprentices' den. Who had woken her? 
                          
Her eyes soon adjusted and she recognized the scent of Thunderpaw right in front of her. 
                          
"You were whimpering in your sleep," the dark tabby tom mewed quietly, careful not to wake their denmates. 
                          
Thankfully, it had gotten less crowded since Leafpaw and Applepaw became Leafpelt and Appletail and moved into the warriors' den last moon. 
                          
Foxpaw and Larkpaw were snoring quietly, completely oblivious to what was going on. 
                          
Hollypaw was glad it had been Thunderpaw who found her during her "nightmare" instead of Foxpaw or Larkpaw. 
                          
"Are you okay?" Thunderpaw asked softly. 
                          
Hollypaw's breath hitched when the tom pressed his warm muzzle to her ear. 
                          
She glanced into his blue eyes that were glowing slightly in the darkness. "I'm...fine. Just a l-little sh-shaken, I guess," she mewed. She was shivering with shock and disbelief. What that why Duskflight acted the way she did now? Because of what happened between her and her former mate?
                          
"Do you want to talk about it?" Thunderpaw asked, settling himself beside her. 
                          
"Thunderpaw, I just want to know who my father is. I had a strange...dream. I was in my mother's body and it was like I was seeing into her memories..." She trailed off, not really wanting to break the news to him about her mixed blood. 
                          
Thunderpaw nudged her shoulder gently. "Go on," he encouraged in a soft whisper. 
                          
She sighed. "She was mates with a StreamClan tom. That's my father."
                          
Thunderpaw gasped gently. 
                          
Why was she telling him this? Sure, he'd always been nice to her but they'd never exactly considered each other close friends. This was a conversation she should be having with Hawkflight. 
                          
But would he listen? Would he give her information? Probably not. 
                          
"I can't believe this," Hollypaw muttered. "That tom was horrible too. He left my mother the moment she told him she was expecting kits. That she was expecting me." She curled her sleek tail up to her flank and turned her face away from Thunderpaw. 
                          
Thunderpaw's nose brushed her cheek. "Hollypaw, it isn't your fault. Some cats are just jerks. Like my littermates. I love them but, they're mean." 
                          
Hollypaw turned back to him. She stared into his face that was lit up just slightly from the moonshine pouring into the den from the entrance. His features were shadowed but she could see the kindness in his eyes as he stared down at her. 
                          
"Go back to sleep," the dark brown tabby murmured. "I'll stay here until you do, just in case you have another dream."
                          
Hollypaw wanted to protest and tell him to go back to his nest, but she almost wanted some cat watching over her. It would make her feel safer. 
                          
She nodded slightly and slumped back into the comfy moss and bracken, resting her chin on her black forepaws and sighing, sleep enveloping her once more.