I Got Help

                                    

                                          


                          
I've been taking some time out to work on myself I mentioned in one of my videos how we should strive to be the best possible version of ourselves we can possibly be, Yet I'm afraid I failed to take my own advice, 
                          
For years I was consumed by creating this perfect, happy image of myself that I often failed to recognize, how I really felt inside. In every picture I'd have the biggest smile, you'd never even question it, yet when I was alone all by myself, I'd just cry, I cried all the time, 
                          
For years I was in denial about how I felt, because I didn't want THIS FEELING, to define me I refused to be trapped by my own thoughts always pushing myself to get through it, distracting myself with work, friends, uni, never really acknowledging the fact, that when it came down to it, I was never truly happy. 
                          
This feeling would suddenly take over me, I became unmotivated, lifeless, my mind would no longer want to create, I would spend months isolating myself, filled with angst, frustration, sorrow debilitated by my own self-hate. and it slowly drove me insane. 
                          
The truth is I'm just someone who's having a really tough time loving herself, and a little over a month ago I was starting to get really bad again, I was truly at a low point, all passion, motivation had gone I didn't know what to do so I confided in a friend. After a long chat took a moment to think and things slowly started to make sense The truth was that I had to accept - accept that I have a problem, only then will all this sadness end. 
                          
If I want to get better then I need to start with myself,  So that's what I did, I took the first step, admitted I had a problem and I finally sought help. 
                          
Honestly, I don't know what I'm going to do next, but I do know that the right path doesn't always come easily here's to giving myself the best chance, here's to working on being the best possible version of myself I can possibly be.

                          
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Thanks for read and watching or just watching lol:) Make sure to check her out on youtube and spread her name and poetry everywhere it needs to be heard(: