Betrayal and Despair

                                    

                                          
27th September 1981
                          
The echo of distrust rang through the house, tension thickening the air with every second. 
'...Where do you go Rey?'
Sirius whispered thickly from across their room,
'Where do you go when I'm on duty? Where are you going - on full moon nights?..'
Remus stood, staring, as confusing melted to pain,
'Where have I...? You can't be serious - you know I'd never do that to you.'
'No. I mean- you told me you'd be fine, "look after James, I'll be ok alone til it's over"- are you alone?-'
'Who else would I be with?! I'd kill anyone else who got near me Sirius, I don't understand...?'
'... You couldn't kill greyback. He was your alpha. Before.'
The stillness was palpable as the implication dawned on Remus.
'You think i.... How... How DARE you. Do you really think that LITTLE OF ME?!?'
Sirius averted his eyes. He couldn't meet the look of betrayal in his love's face, but still could not quell the suspicion in his gut. He lashed out,
'You could.... I don't know, I haven't been here, have I? I've been PROTECTING them!'
'Don't you dare! I would be too if it wasn't for my "condition", don't you fucking use that against me! How could I ever go back to him? I'd rather be dead- I'd never... never'
Remus shook with rage, every scrap of self control strained to hold back hot tears. Sirius' face was stony as he finally met Rey's eyes, whispering the warning,
'If you hurt them...'
'If I... How can you say that? How do we know it's not you? Finally sick of your half breed? falling in with your lot? How do we bloody know it's not you?'
Sirius set his jaw, his heart pounding...
                          
'James knows.'
                          
He turned and slammed the door, the echo shattering the last morsel of restraint in Remus, as he fell to the floor, numb and trembling with heartbreak all at once as Sirius strode away into the night. 
Sirius had made his decision. He was an obvious target. Remus had weaknesses that could be exploited - just like Ned Veigler had - and Remus was his weakness, too many people knew that. It just wasn't safe for James to trust him any more. 
*****
31st October 1981
                          
Sirius stood with hollow eyes, drenched with rain and  cold sweat in the corner of the hall he hadn't seen in months. 
'They can't be- it's wrong, the news is wrong! No! Lily... Can't... Sirius, please, they can't be!?'
'They are... James and Evans... I told them - it's my fault Rey... It's my fault they're-'
'What are you talking about? Why are you..? It can't be your fault, you weren't even on duty! It's not your fault... It can't be...'
It dawned on Remus without warning,
'Harry... Sirius you have to get Harry, now... Sirius!'
Shaking him by the shoulders, hard, Remus reminded his partner of the promise they had made their friends. The promise they had hoped would never come true. 
'They're gone... I should never have-'
'Yes, Sirius, they're gone... They're  gone, prongs is gone, and Lily- oh gods Lily! - but Harry, Sirius! You need to find Harry- prongs' SON Sirius, please..?'
The haze seemed to lift from Sirius' eyes as he remembered his godson. His step brother's child. He saw the pleading in Rey's swollen eyes, and began to stumble forward,
'My- where are my keys? Rey, my keys I need my bike... Harry- I will, I'll get Harry- we promised.'
Long fingers wrapped around his face, forcing him to focus. 
'We'll be OK. We'll be okay for James and lily. And Harry. Okay? Hurry back, and be safe-'
The briefest of goodbyes were said before Sirius took off into the night for the second time that year. Remus never expected how long he'd be gone.