Chapter 19

                                    

                                          
                                Chapter 19:
                          
                                *Marcel*
                          
  Two Years Later
                          
            Today was the day I got out of the psych ward because they finally believe that I am no longer suicidal. My arms are permanently scarred from the cutting incident. Right now I am sitting in my car at a playground watching Abbey play with a little girl who I assume is our daughter. They come here every Tuesday and I sit and watch them. I turned on the radio and the song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls came on. 
                          
“I’d give up forever to touch you 
                          
‘Cause I know that you feel my somehow…” 
                          
Abbey looked around expectantly, but she sat down at a bench with a disappointed expression. 
                          
“You’re the closest to Heaven that I’ll ever be 
                          
And I don’t wanna go home right now.
                          
And all I can taste is this moment 
                          
And all I can breathe is your life. 
                          
Sooner or later it’s over,
                          
I just don’t wanna miss you tonight.
                          
And I don’t want the world to see me
                          
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand.
                          
When everything’s made to be broken,
                          
I just want you to know who I am.”
                          
Tears spilled down my cheeks as I realized this song is explaining exactly how I feel.
                          
“And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming
                          
 Or the moment of truth in your lies.
                          
 When everything feels like the movies,
                          
 You bleed just to know you’re alive.”
                          
            I looked down to my forearms and remembered that horrific day… Everything from the argument to waking up at the hospital. It was the worst day of my life.
                          
“And I don’t want the world to see me,
                          
 ‘Cause I don’t think that they’d    understand.
                          
 When everything’s made to be broken,
                          
 I just want you to know who I am.”
                          
            I cried the hardest I have ever cried. Abbey understood me and loved me and I made her leave. I looked up at Abbey and my precious baby girl. I will get them back… No matter what I have to do.